Too Lazy To Spoogle* (*-Space Google) | text

[whyarewehere]

[ The post drifts up onto the comms one evening, just a simple line of text to ask a simple question:]

guys, how do aliens know when other aliens are hot?

Comments

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[mirror_soldier]

I would think that just being within close enough proximity of one another would give some indication of comparable temperature variations, given they're drastic enough.

[whyarewehere]

that's not what i meant and you know that's not what i meant.

[mirror_soldier]

[Actually, it takes a moment for Mr. Literal to figure out what it was he should have known that Grif meant. Sometimes he forgot that people outside of teenagers and Wally West used the word 'hot' as a replacement for 'sexy'. Though, knowing what little he did about Grif, he really should have known better.]

If you meant attractive you should have stated it that way.

[agnominal]

Standards of attractiveness would vary from species to species.

They would know the same as you would. By comparing either that standard of attractiveness or one compromised of their own personal preferences to the subject of focus.

[whyarewehere]

okay but it's other aliens?

[ It's a simple question! ]

[TEXT]

[thedreamisdead]

Human beauty standards aren't universal. They're not even cross-cultural among humans. Even in Mega-City One, we've got the people who have the hots for uglies, fatties, and simp styles. You'd need about five hundred extra pounds to register on some people's radars or rotten teeth and scabies for others. Even among the 'normal' freak standards, you've got the retrogoth cowboy and the timeless punk look styles and standards of beauty.

If people in a single city can't decide on a universal standard of beauty, what makes you think that aliens do?

[whyarewehere]

i'm not even talking about that, i just mean how do aliens know when other aliens are hot?

[ Grif: easily the clearest communicator on this station. ]

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[lovernotafighter]

[....]

Dude, seriously?

[Because he feels a little called out right now.]

[whyarewehere]

dude. seriously.

[ This wasn't about Tucker, but he supposes he can take time out of his busy day to make it about Tucker. ]

[nofortunateson]

You're making 'finding someone hot' sound like it involves more thinking than it actually does.

[whyarewehere]

well when you're an alien, yeah?

[unrecovered]

I guess I should be grateful you're not asking if bees fart.

[rushing_by]

That sort of depends on why he's asking doesn't it?

[brisance]

How do you decide when other people are hot?

[whyarewehere]

boobs.

[ She asked. ]

[araignee_du_soir]

This is a stupid question.

[whyarewehere]

excuse you. there are only stupid answers.

[iamresponding]

Do you mean "how do aliens know other aliens that are the same species are hot?" or "how do aliens know aliens that are different species are hot?"

[whyarewehere]

[ Grif's answer is almost immediate. ]

second one.

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[thebioticwoman]

You said that out loud, Grif.

[Wait.]

Typed it in public. You know what I mean.

[whyarewehere]

yes and?

[ He's waiting. ]

[calibrates_big_guns]

[He actually thinks about that one for a long second. More thought than it's probably worth, especially because he's fairly certain he's going to regret answering this ... but what the hell?]

It's a crapshoot, honestly.

[whyarewehere]

like how?

[ Grif is nothing if not a ruthless seeker of truth and detail. ...Or at least for now. ]

[text]

[legionnpcs]

[ Have a picture of two humanoids napping on a beach. He is laying on his back, she is curled up with her head on his stomach and his hand in her long dark hair. Both of them are wearing bikinis, his in red and green and hers in white and black; and both of them are toned, though he's bulkier than she is.

Anyone who's taken a look at the missing Legionnaires can recognize them as Apparition and Ultra Boy. ]

You can't tell me that ain't objectively hot.

[whyarewehere]

c'mon, don't use my serious space questions to flirt with people that aren't here right now.