Too Lazy To Spoogle* (*-Space Google) | text

[whyarewehere]

[ The post drifts up onto the comms one evening, just a simple line of text to ask a simple question:]

guys, how do aliens know when other aliens are hot?

Comments

[whyarewehere]

i live with a bunch of people who know aliens though? these are authentic details!

[thebioticwoman]

You don't know any non-humanoid aliens?

[Grif you're from the only universe farther into the future than hers, how do you not know any aliens?]

1/2

[whyarewehere]

we do, but they kind of tried to kill us.

if you want to know about them, you should ask master chief. he's an expert.

[prettycoolguy]

Pass.

2/2

[whyarewehere]

wait. no. better idea: ask tucker.

Re:

[brisance]

Grif.

[whyarewehere]

what?

[brisance]

The subject? Change it.

[whyarewehere]

i'm trying to give a serious answer to a question here!

[ He is all innocence! ]

[thebioticwoman]

You know what, I'm going to pretend I didn't just step into some long-running Red/Blue thing.

[unrecovered]

That's probably a good idea.

[thebioticwoman]

Not my command, not my problem.

[Sorry about your life, Wash.]

[unrecovered]

It's nice to be able to say that sometimes, isn't it.

[thebioticwoman]

People usually manage to find some way to make it my problem anyway.

[calibrates_big_guns]

"Usually?" didn't realize there was a time the mess didn't land in our lap.

[thebioticwoman]

I'm sure there's plenty of stuff we don't know about.

[whyarewehere]

you think i'm joking, but i think he'd know.

[thebioticwoman]

It's more that I question your motives on this one, Grif.

[If you think "Tucker fucked an alien" is getting anything but a high-five from Shepard, well, I don't know what to tell you.]

[whyarewehere]

shepard would i ever do anything for the wrong reasons?

[thebioticwoman]

Even text can't make that one work, buddy.

[whyarewehere]

damn. another one knows me now.

[thebioticwoman]

I'm fluent in smartass. The Alliance won't give you a command if you're not.

[Yeah no that's a lie a good half of her peers don't have a sense of humor.]

[lovernotafighter]

Shut. The. Fuck. Up. Right. Now.

[whyarewehere]

dude you had an alien baby.

[lovernotafighter]

Yeah, and he's fucking awesome and I sure as fuck wouldn't take it back. [Because he does love his son. A lot. The sun rises and sets on his kid, but--]

The shit was complicated, though!