Too Lazy To Spoogle* (*-Space Google) | text

[whyarewehere]

[ The post drifts up onto the comms one evening, just a simple line of text to ask a simple question:]

guys, how do aliens know when other aliens are hot?

Comments

[rushing_by]

That sort of depends on why he's asking doesn't it?

[unrecovered]

You weren't on that 3 AM text chain, were you.

[whyarewehere]

look that wasn't even halfway my fault.

[unrecovered]

I know. I would've trapped your door if it were.

[whyarewehere]

i don't think that prank war would've gone great for either of us.

[unrecovered]

Point. The only reason York didn't start one is because he knew he deserved it.

[rushing_by]

No, I was asleep, like most people.

My point was, there's only two reasons he could be asking. Either he's just asking ridiculous questions like normal, or he has another reason he wants to know.

So, Grif. Who are they?

[whyarewehere]

sometimes you just think of a question!

[rushing_by]

Are you sure about that?

In all seriousness, though, I don't know? Attraction isn't something you really decide on , and it doesn't necessarily have to be physical. If I had to give a guess, it's probably because people have a tendency to befriend beings even outside our species.

Think about it. People bond with animals, and give names to plants and Roombas. It actually makes a sense that they'd find something to be attracted to once they met another species that was as intelligent as them.

[whyarewehere]

i don't think animals and robots are good comparisons here,
barry.

[ Talk about your awkward implications. ]

[rushing_by]

That is not what I meant and you know it.

[whyarewehere]

okay, but having friends also doesn't mean you think they're hot?

unless this is some kind of way to ask me out, in which case i'm gonna have to say: sorry dude.

[ Jokes? Jokes. Use that to cover the fact he's publicly acknowledging friendship. ]

[legionnpcs]

It's probably Gates.

[whyarewehere]

No.

[legionnpcs]

No, I quite understand. On his planet, his legs are considered very attracted. Segmented at just the right lengths.

I'm sure he'd be pleased to talk about arranging a little face to face time.

[legionnpcs]

Glaaaag.

[unrecovered]

It's definitely Gates.

[whyarewehere]

wash.

[unrecovered]

Yes?

[whyarewehere]

why?

[unrecovered]

Why not?

[rushing_by]

No, no. Gates isn't Grif's type. I'm thinking it's gotta be someone from the cooking staff. Thraxus the Conqueror, maybe?

[whyarewehere]

barry.

[rushing_by]

Grif.

[whyarewehere]

you know what i'm going to ask you why, you're going to tell me why not, and i'm just gonna give up while i'm still ahead.