Too Lazy To Spoogle* (*-Space Google) | text

[whyarewehere]

[ The post drifts up onto the comms one evening, just a simple line of text to ask a simple question:]

guys, how do aliens know when other aliens are hot?

Comments

[whyarewehere]

boobs.

[ She asked. ]

[brisance]

[ really ]

You must love Nightwing. He's got a set of pecs.

[legionnpcs]

Pecs weren't what I noticed.

[legionnpcs]

If I weren't a married man...

[whyarewehere]

i'd talk about how no, but i repeat myself about that enough to know you probably don't care.

[brisance]

I care.

But are you telling me if you stuck boobs on a sangheili, then you'd go for them?

[calibrates_big_guns]

I feel like that mental image explains a lot about this whole thing.

[brisance]

It really doesn't. They're huge, hulking, and they drool.

[calibrates_big_guns]

Not the actual mental image itself, but he probably thought of it in the shower and now he just can't stop.

[brisance]

I don't think he thinks in the shower.

But you might be onto something.

[calibrates_big_guns]

Seems as likely as anything else.

[brisance]

I mean, to me it's less about how they look and more about how they act.

The appearance helps, though.

[calibrates_big_guns]

Personally, I agree. Attractive isn't the be-all-end-all.

But it's a nice bonus.

[brisance]

Shared interests.

I mean, they do say naps are supposed to be good for building trust. Pretty sure that means Grif will make a totally trustworthy partner.

[ good thing this is text ]

[calibrates_big_guns]

And a good sense of humor never hurt.

I never thought I'd see someone turn laziness into a selling point, though. Points for creativity.

[brisance]

You can always trust yourself to know where he is: probably asleep.

Hmm, why did the chicken cross the road?

[calibrates_big_guns]

I'll bite. How does this turn into a dig at Grif's expense?

bad nerd dad answers

[brisance]

The chicken didn't cross the road; the road passed under the chicken.

[calibrates_big_guns]

[There's a pause, and Garrus facepalmed during it.]

That's terrible.

[brisance]

Dad's favorite joke.

[ it is... not painful to text that. and at least garrus has no idea why it would be ]

[calibrates_big_guns]

[No, he really doesn't.]

That makes sense.

[brisance]

Cmon, you've got to have at least one bad joke in you too.

[calibrates_big_guns]

I'm not denying that. That's just a very specific kind of terrible.

[Usually reserved for dads and teachers that think they're funny.]

[brisance]

I'm waiting to hear your specific kind of terrible.

[whyarewehere]

okay let me revise my position here:

human boobs.