Too Lazy To Spoogle* (*-Space Google) | text

[whyarewehere]

[ The post drifts up onto the comms one evening, just a simple line of text to ask a simple question:]

guys, how do aliens know when other aliens are hot?

Comments

[iamresponding]

You might as well ask how humans can tell aliens are hot, we're aliens to them just like they're aliens to us.

[whyarewehere]

honestly? i don't really get that one either?

[iamresponding]

It's alll about aesthetics instead of what you've been conditioned to think is hot. Instead of looking for the usual things you look for, you see certain individual features that are nice-looking. Different colored skin, ears in interesting shapes, eyes that are interesting colors, muscles or curves that just...go a certain way that's pleasing to the eye.

Instead of thinking just "hey, that person has completely symmetrical features and looks like models on TV" you notice things more like you would in a painting.

Think about it, as a species, we can point to a painting and go "hey those colored shapes are beautiful" when the subject of the painting isn't even human. You kinda tap into that when thinking about whether an alien's hot.

[legionnpcs]

Careful, Richard. Timber Wolf's a taken man.

[iamresponding]

[He laughs.]

That was a very general description. It's not my fault if half of you original recipe Legionnaires fit it.

[legionnpcs]

Tease.

[whyarewehere]

[ After a couple of minutes, Grif comes back with: ]

i'm definitely not wingmanning for you, but i think that painting line would work.

[iamresponding]

I guess. That's only a part of it, though. It's not just features. Who the person is factors in, too.

You see certain features and then it's like "hey, not only do those individually look great, they're a part of so-and-so" and that makes them all look even better.

There's just something magnetic. Who they are as a whole influences how they look to you.

[Like maybe you notice someone's bright eyes or a crooked smile or a mischievous laugh, and even though it's not what your brain normally pings as attractive, you look at it in a new light.]

[whyarewehere]

okay be honest, who's the girl and how many limbs does she have? no judgment.

[ Trying to assess attractiveness in new ways can only lead to uncomfortable parts of the space internet. That or horrible, awkward, useless emotions. Picking on Rich is preferable to either of those things. ]

[iamresponding]

There's nobody right now. I mean...I still have to figure things out with Nita when I see her again.

I just meant that's how it is in general.

Webbed feet, head fins, tails, weird legs, tentacle hair, it's all good.

Private

[whyarewehere]

didn't know. sorry.

[ It was mostly a harmless joke because he thought Rich already had a girlfriend. Anything else there is news to him. ]

still not gonna wingman for you.

[ Priorities. ]

private

[iamresponding]

It's okay. I don't know if it's necessarily going to be a bad figuring things out yet. We were just in a weird place when she showed up, because of the timeline differences - I saved her from an earlier point when we were just starting things, and I'm...I don't know what I am, but I'm not who I was back then.

Things weren't bad but there was a whole lot we didn't say that we needed to - that we still need to. I've just been thinking about it a lot since she got sent back home.

[And maybe it'll work out and maybe it won't, but they still need to sit down figure out where it all stands. Eventually. Either they can get on the same wavelength or need to accept they're in different places in their lives.]

So don't worry, there's no need for any wingmanning.