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[bringinghopewithme]

[This isn't the first time there's been a video post on Legion's network made by a rabbit, but it is the first time the rabbit making it is six feet tall, with an accent thick enough to cut with a knoife.]

G'day, mates. I'm the Easter Bunny.

[This would be the place to insert a punchline, if this were a joke. Bunny does not insert one. Actually, by his smug smile, he seems pretty proud of the title.]

I'm gonna need to get down to Earth sooner rather than later. Gettin' dragged out here did away with most've my powers, and I need to get down to a real bush to figure out what I've still got. Who's headed planetside when?

Comments

[thedreamisdead]

So you're the one people keep bringing up.

[What does an Ozzie have to do with Easter?]

I'll be headed down to New New York in a day or two. If you can avoid causing a scene, I don't see why I can't take you along.

[bringinghopewithme]

Probably.

[Easter must be coming up - that's another thing he's got to figure out, how he's going to bring his holiday when he's at almost absolute minimum power.]

Define a scene.

[whyarewehere]

No.

[ That's all Grif says. No. ]

[bringinghopewithme]

Problem, mate?

[Now there's an interesting response. Nobody's ever accused him of not being who he is.

But he's never been visible to so many adults before. Or . . . any, really. Bunny keeps an eyebrow raised, waiting for a little more detail to explain that solid disbelief.]

Video

[araignee_du_soir]

[Widowmaker's blue countenance filled the screen and she simply stared for a long moment before speaking in the most apathetic voice ever.]

...right. Tch. Only here.

Re: Video

[bringinghopewithme]

Or not, since here is a different universe.

[He can feel it. He doesn't even need to touch down on solid ground to know that the planet down below is not his. It's in the way his power is diminished, as it wouldn't if he were simply dragged forward in time, not sideways across space.

It's in the way he feels, for the first time in too long, mortal.]

Not that you'd see much of me if we were in my universe. You look a little grown up to believe.

I'm sorry 1/???

[muroieda]

[That's not a knoife...

Junkrat stares in awed silence at the video. Then, with a breathless mutter, talking to himself:]

The Easter Bunny is an Ozzie?

2/?

[muroieda]

[With more confidence:]

Hooly dooley, the Easter Bunny is an Ozzie.

3/?

[muroieda]

[A quiet beat.]

dun

[muroieda]

[With absolutely no warning, there's a blur of movement--a loud clatter of a wood stool against wood floor--and screaming:]

Roadhog! ROADIE!!! Yer not gonna believe this!!!

[walkingballpit]

[ Robbie doesn't even wait long enough to really absorb that it's the flippin' Easter Bunny. ]

Eggcellent.

[bringinghopewithme]

[HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY]

I like you already. What's your name, mate?

[lovernotafighter]

[What... what the fuck...]

Seriously? Like, fucking seriously?

[bringinghopewithme]

Y'know, I never had much of a head for machines, yet even I know that if you touch the part of the box with the triangle on it, you can hear me say yet again, very seriously, 'G'day mates I'm the Easter Bunny.'

[He's tempted to tell Tucker to watch his language, but hey, he's a grownup, he can make his own choices. Least there's no kids reading this that he's seen yet.]

[manwhosoldtheworld]

Every time I think I've seen everything, life finds a way to make me eat my words.

[bringinghopewithme]

You'd think I wouldn't be able to say the same thing, and yet, here we are, mutually surprised.

[sir_vancelot]

[Vance opens his mouth. Pauses. Closes it again. Then frowns.]

Okay. This isn't as weird as I thought it might be. Still a little conflicted, though.

[bringinghopewithme]

Conflicted how?

[Is it the accent? The tough-guy swagger? Being faced with a direct order from the universe to believe in something the guy likely hasn't thought about since he was much, much younger? Take your pick.]

You think this is weird for you, I haven't spoken to an adult mortal in centuries.

[leverageintceo]

[There is soft, metallic noise over Bunny's head as the grate to the ventilation shaft there swings open. A blond woman sticks her head out and looks him over, before pinning him with a very serious look.]

Are you really the Easter Bunny, or are you one of his- her- their- ugh, I don't know -- helpers?

[bringinghopewithme]

[HOLY DOOLEY how did she -]

Crikey, you're a sneaky one.

[Bunny can't entirely hide the rapid initial rate of his breathing, but with one deep breath he puts the surprise of being snuck up on aside and regards Parker wryly.]

The only helpers I've got are 9 feet tall and made of stone, and they don't talk much.

[She's serious about this, so he's serious at her back.]

I'm fair dinkum, Sheila. There's no Easter Bunny but me.

[It's been long enough that he can say this without a trace of old sorrow. It's just true - and she did ask.]

[isthisapidge]

[...Look at the face of this extremely skeptical child.]

The Easter Bunny? Really?

[Alien rabbits? Sure. Australian alien rabbits? Alright. But the Easter Bunny? No. Just...no. But then-]

Oh! I get it. It's a code name! Duh!

...Did you lose a bet?

[bringinghopewithme]

[Oh dear, it's a teenager. That awkward age when they're still a kid, but no longer likely a believer - he honestly has very little idea how to handle that age.

So he just pulls one of the few unpainted eggs he got pulled over with from his pack, a paintbrush from somewhere else in his bandolier, and with his eyebrow raised, transforms the plain white egg into a hand-decorated work of flowery, intricate art. The process takes about 5 seconds, and Bunny frowns at the slowness. The bristles of the brush aren't even smoking. He really has been nerfed.]

Dunno what you mean, kiddo.

[gonebyebye]

Wow, the actual Easter Bunny. Although I wouldn't have pegged you as being Australian.

Dr. Ray Stantz, Ghostbuster. I'm a paranormal investigator.

[bringinghopewithme]

Yeah, not many expect that.

[He knows he's a visitor on his own continent. What he doesn't really realize is how much of an epidemic mortal rabbits are on otherworld versions of the continent, where he wasn't there to clean up that particular invasive species.]

Ah, one of those? I had one of your lot tailing me a few seasons ago. Thought I was a sasquatch.

[It was sort of neat to be messing with an adult that close to actually believing, even though the mortal never actually saw him, even when he was cleaning his teeth in front of the guy.]

What's your strategy? Psychic, or do you have one of those little boxes that beep when a ghost is around?

[video]

[ghost_bait]

[Yeah, there's a gap in translation here; Miku's experiences with Easter were, how does one say, extremely nonexistent. So she squints at the video. Those are ears. That is a bunny nose.]

You look nothing like your kit-kat.

Re: [video]

[bringinghopewithme]

[He returns the squint.]

My what now?

video

[captainbuzzkill]

[Somebody has a little red notebook open and a pencil in hand.]

First question: would you categorize yourself as a spirit with a reputation for giving away candy, a tulpa artificially created by belief, or a figment of people's imagination given life by world physics that allow beings to exist in the mindscape, currently personified in a flesh and blood body by the Time Trapper?

Second question: bunnies and Jesus having the same holiday, what's that about?

Third question: eggs and candy? What's the root cause of their association?

[A pause, and he looks up from his notebook.]

Don't worry, this isn't an interrogation, I'm just trying to categorize you for science.

[Another pause, as he realizes maybe this is a little awkward. He tries to defend himself.]

I'm writing it all down. That's what makes it science.

Video

[bringinghopewithme]

[Look at the little scientist, doing his science! That's adorable.]

None of the above. Good guess, though. I know a lotta spirits who could fit those bills.

[And since there's no real point in being too vague and mysterious -]

Try 'ascended mortal.' That's closer to the mark.

[And then the kid has to go bringing religion into the question, and man, Bunny just hopes he's not messing with some mortal's faith too much with all this. They take that so seriously.]

That one's on you mortals. I used to give the eggs and candy closer to the equinox, but now I'm expected at Easter. The way you teach your myths to your kids don't change us, but we pay attention. As for the eggs and candy - They make good gifts around springtime. I happen to know how to grow eggs out of flowers, and paint 'em up beautiful. I also happen to make just about the best candy you've ever had. Come the end of winter, when mortals start needing hope, what's a better gift than something beautiful you can eat?

There's your answers. Were they scientific enough, or do y'need me to sketch a microscopy of an egg-growing flower cell to go with it?

[If he can talk to a kid in science terms - there's no way he's going to skip that opportunity.]