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[This isn't the first time there's been a video post on Legion's network made by a rabbit, but it is the first time the rabbit making it is six feet tall, with an accent thick enough to cut with a knoife.]

G'day, mates. I'm the Easter Bunny.

[This would be the place to insert a punchline, if this were a joke. Bunny does not insert one. Actually, by his smug smile, he seems pretty proud of the title.]

I'm gonna need to get down to Earth sooner rather than later. Gettin' dragged out here did away with most've my powers, and I need to get down to a real bush to figure out what I've still got. Who's headed planetside when?

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You're not the Easter Bunny. I refuse to believe that you're the Easter Bunny.

What, you don't think he's as cute as Judy was?

Who's Judy?

Oh, she's not around anymore. She was a bunny cop. Hung out with a fox. Didn't like to be called 'cute', but she totally was.

Psh. You're havin' one over on me.

[Foxes and rabbits? Hanging out together? Sure he's been around Reynard a time or two but they've never hung out. And he's the only rabbit who talks.]

Who was the fox?

Nah, man. His name was Nick something or other. Nick Wilde, maybe? I'll have to go back and look it up.

He was a police officer, too.

Funny story, mate. What kid's book didja get it from?

[Foxes don't talk, rabbits don't have a police force - one would think a literal legend would be a little more open minded about these things, but, well. There's not much he assumes he hasn't seen. And he's very certain on there being no other sentient rabbits besides him.]

Edited 2017-07-18 05:03 (UTC)

Gimme a sec.

[Computers are hard, man. But, in about seven minutes, he finally posts up a picture of Nick, Judy, Rocket, and a few other teammates.]

Judy Hopps and Nick Wilde.

[So there.]

[Nobody witnesses the amount of time he spends examining the photos, observing his own reaction to sentience in mortal faces that aren't human. But it's a significant chunk of time that he stays silent.]

Well. Color me surprised.

And that's not easy to do, mind.

[Even if it has been happening a lot, last few days.]

It's the Easter part I'm having the problem with here, Jason.

What's the problem? That he's the Easter Bunny or that the Time Trapper would drag a holiday guy into all of this?

Both? Can I go with both?

Bro, I've worked with Santa Claus up at the North Pole. And we had that Jack Frost kid running around for a week.

Just roll with it. Maybe you'll get some chocolate.

[Chocolate is always great.]

Jack Frost? Blue jumper, carries a big stick, incapable of speaking softly? That Jack Frost?

Yeah! He hung around for a while, then kinda vanished. I guess the Time Trapper sent him home when he realized that we had three people with ice powers on the team at once.

Didn't get to know him very well, though.

The little larrikin didn't say a thing about it to the rest of us! I'll have words for him when I get back to our present.

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kingtyrantranger - 2017-07-18 05:06 (UTC) - Expand

It's still ridiculous and I'm still not playing along.

[ At least Jack Frost is more... mythological, maybe? Somehow it makes sense to Grif. ]

...I can be bribed, though.

[ Shit, wait, chocolate really is an excellent priority here. ]

Maybe you oughta start playing along then, man. You haven't exactly given off a 'Give me candy eggs, please' attitude.

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whyarewehere - 2017-07-18 05:10 (UTC) - Expand

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whyarewehere - 2017-07-18 17:48 (UTC) - Expand

What, you were expecting more fluff? Less? Should I be wearing a tophat?

[Rather than growing defensive, a note of curiosity has crept in with Bunny's sarcasm.]

How are they depicting me these days, anyhow? You mortals get your ideas, but I don't know where you get 'em from. I've never seen anything remotely accurate.

Look, the Easter Bunny isn't real. So cool code name and all, but no. What's your actual deal?

[ Refuses. To. Believe. ]

[He chokes, suddenly, eyes widening in terror.]

No -

[But it comes out strained, and he clutches at his throat, straining to get the words out -]

We don't - exist - unless you -

[The strain is too much. The omnicom, set up against a rock somewhere, stays where it is as Bunny crumples, dropping out of sight as he fights to get the words out.]

If you don't - believe - I'll - stop -

[Whatever he meant to finish saying, he doesn't get it out before there's a loud thud, and silence from the screen, empty of any bunnies, Easter or otherwise.

It's a few more seconds before Bunny starts laughing.]

[ It's just, just long enough that Grif thinks he might have done A Bad Thing. For a few seconds. Oh god no he didn't mean to kill someone, why is this h-

Oh wait it's actually fine. Thank fucking God.

It still takes him longer than it should to figure out what he wants to say next. ]

Look dude, I haven't been six years old in a really long time.

[ It's... probably more earnest than he wanted to be. He's been thrown a little. ]

[Yes, mission accomplished. Bunny jumps back up, still chuckling a bit of the humor off.]

No worries mate, just havin' a lend of you. I don't expect adults to Believe anyway. It's just the kids who're supposed to be able to see us.

[Now he actually looks a little thoughtful, having gotten his prank out of the way.]

This is probably about as weird for you as it is for me, to tell ya the truth. I haven't talked to mortals this much in . . . you know, I don't think I've ever talked to mortals this much. Certainly not grown-up ones.

[He barely even gets to interact with children, and they're the only ones who're supposed to be able to see him.]

[ It's continuing. He's not backing down. He really thinks he's the fucking Easter Bunny.

And honestly, Jason is right. Grif can make all the noise he wants, but stranger things than this have already happened here. ]

Okay, fine. Easter Bunny. But what do you do? And usually I just mean superpowers, but right now I mean with the rest of your life, dude. It's kind of a one-day-a-year thing you got there.

[This is so much attitude from someone who can not have met a lot of 6-foot-tall sentient Australian rabbits.]

Well let's see. I paint eggs, can't ever let the muscle memory get out of practice. Make better chocolate than last year. Grow some flowers here 'n there. Fight the Boogeyman with Santa and the Tooth Fairy.

[It was an enormously serious affair at the time, but to a mortal, it must sound like a children's storybook. And he could go into turning the wheel of the year, bringing the seasons in their time, protecting the place where all life was born, stealing back children from fairies and monsters and hunting down the vicious things that go bump in the night -

But nah watching this bogan continue to be mad that he is who he says he is is so much funnier.]