thelegion | (no subject)

Entry tags:

(no subject)

[This isn't the first time there's been a video post on Legion's network made by a rabbit, but it is the first time the rabbit making it is six feet tall, with an accent thick enough to cut with a knoife.]

G'day, mates. I'm the Easter Bunny.

[This would be the place to insert a punchline, if this were a joke. Bunny does not insert one. Actually, by his smug smile, he seems pretty proud of the title.]

I'm gonna need to get down to Earth sooner rather than later. Gettin' dragged out here did away with most've my powers, and I need to get down to a real bush to figure out what I've still got. Who's headed planetside when?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Bro, I've worked with Santa Claus up at the North Pole. And we had that Jack Frost kid running around for a week.

Just roll with it. Maybe you'll get some chocolate.

[Chocolate is always great.]

Jack Frost? Blue jumper, carries a big stick, incapable of speaking softly? That Jack Frost?

Yeah! He hung around for a while, then kinda vanished. I guess the Time Trapper sent him home when he realized that we had three people with ice powers on the team at once.

Didn't get to know him very well, though.

The little larrikin didn't say a thing about it to the rest of us! I'll have words for him when I get back to our present.

Unless he came from after you did? Time travel's weird and that kinda thing happens a lot.

It's still ridiculous and I'm still not playing along.

[ At least Jack Frost is more... mythological, maybe? Somehow it makes sense to Grif. ]

...I can be bribed, though.

[ Shit, wait, chocolate really is an excellent priority here. ]

Maybe you oughta start playing along then, man. You haven't exactly given off a 'Give me candy eggs, please' attitude.

This is a public thread, I think I'm already kind of fucked.

[ Grif shrugs. ]

I'm still gonna say blatant bribery is fine.

I mean, and I know this is kind of a radical departure for you guys in the sarcastic armor crew, but maybe an apology might get the ball rolling there?

Nah.

[ Grif have you learned a single goddamn thing here?

...Well, he has. A little bit. Kinda. He just doesn't see this situation as one serious enough to merit any kind of apologetic action. ]

Edited 2017-07-18 05:16 (UTC)

You can't rob vending machines forever, man.

[Maybe Jason needs to track down Rich and have him do another public post explaining to everyone how amazing Grif is.]

Jason, we're talking about the goddamn Easter Bunny and this is still the fakest sounding part of this conversation.

[ HE CAN AND HE WILL JUST YOU WATCH ]

Edited (i didn't like that sentence structure) 2017-07-18 05:23 (UTC)

C'mon! They're gonna stop stocking the chocolate Ding Dongs if you don't drop any money on them!

[Don't be a jerk, Grif.]

It's okay, the peanut butter Scootledoos are just as good.

[ Not... being a jerk...? That sounds hard! ]

You and I both know that's a lie.

You're just being picky. I thought you were supposed to outgrow that by your age!

[ Grif. Why. ]

There's a reason no one ever eats the Scootledoos! They suck!

...Huh. I thought they were just supposed to be that crunchy.

Still not bad.

[ Grif. Why. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only