(no subject)

[bringinghopewithme]

[This isn't the first time there's been a video post on Legion's network made by a rabbit, but it is the first time the rabbit making it is six feet tall, with an accent thick enough to cut with a knoife.]

G'day, mates. I'm the Easter Bunny.

[This would be the place to insert a punchline, if this were a joke. Bunny does not insert one. Actually, by his smug smile, he seems pretty proud of the title.]

I'm gonna need to get down to Earth sooner rather than later. Gettin' dragged out here did away with most've my powers, and I need to get down to a real bush to figure out what I've still got. Who's headed planetside when?

Comments

[thedreamisdead]

So you're the one people keep bringing up.

[What does an Ozzie have to do with Easter?]

I'll be headed down to New New York in a day or two. If you can avoid causing a scene, I don't see why I can't take you along.

[whyarewehere]

No.

[ That's all Grif says. No. ]

[bringinghopewithme]

Probably.

[Easter must be coming up - that's another thing he's got to figure out, how he's going to bring his holiday when he's at almost absolute minimum power.]

Define a scene.

[thedreamisdead]

I expected someone fluffier.

[Oh well.]

Don't act like a tourist, don't cause trouble.

[Basically, don't embarrass her.]

[bringinghopewithme]

Problem, mate?

[Now there's an interesting response. Nobody's ever accused him of not being who he is.

But he's never been visible to so many adults before. Or . . . any, really. Bunny keeps an eyebrow raised, waiting for a little more detail to explain that solid disbelief.]

[bringinghopewithme]

[He snorts with disbelief.]

What were you expecting, an angora?

[Why, even? He's plenty fluffy. Any more fluff and it'd just be a hassle to keep clean.]

I cover the whole planet once a year. I haven't been a tourist anywhere on Earth in centuries. Exactly what are people saying about me that makes you think I'd cause trouble?

[Did some of the tales of his misspent youth make it this far into the future? Those were supposed to be laid to rest. Maybe Anansi's still alive in this time for him to have words with.]

[whyarewehere]

You're not the Easter Bunny. I refuse to believe that you're the Easter Bunny.

[kingtyrantranger]

What, you don't think he's as cute as Judy was?

[bringinghopewithme]

What, you were expecting more fluff? Less? Should I be wearing a tophat?

[Rather than growing defensive, a note of curiosity has crept in with Bunny's sarcasm.]

How are they depicting me these days, anyhow? You mortals get your ideas, but I don't know where you get 'em from. I've never seen anything remotely accurate.

[bringinghopewithme]

Who's Judy?

[thedreamisdead]

No, but I don't think I was expecting tall and lanky.

[More something small and puntable. This one looked like if a coyote came at him, someone would be having canine for dinner.]

Nothing. I just hear your name brought up a lot whenever discussion brushes against Santa Claus. [Generally in a 'Oh God, I don't want to think about it' context.] If you're good, then I won't have a problem with sticking around while you get a handle on your powers.

[whyarewehere]

It's the Easter part I'm having the problem with here, Jason.

[kingtyrantranger]

Oh, she's not around anymore. She was a bunny cop. Hung out with a fox. Didn't like to be called 'cute', but she totally was.

[whyarewehere]

Look, the Easter Bunny isn't real. So cool code name and all, but no. What's your actual deal?

[ Refuses. To. Believe. ]

[kingtyrantranger]

What's the problem? That he's the Easter Bunny or that the Time Trapper would drag a holiday guy into all of this?

[bringinghopewithme]

I never can understand how mortals can think about a rabbit able to cover the whole planet in one day and not come up with lanky. D'you realize how fast I need to be able to run?

[How fast he can't run anymore, frustratingly enough. He chuckles at the mention of North, though.]

I'm guessing y'don't have much of an accurate picture of him, either.

[Of course they know each other. Of course.]

Thanks heaps, Sheila. It's a bodgy job this Time Trapper did with my powers, but there's no sense complaining about it until I find out just how bodgy.

[whyarewehere]

Both? Can I go with both?

Video

[araignee_du_soir]

[Widowmaker's blue countenance filled the screen and she simply stared for a long moment before speaking in the most apathetic voice ever.]

...right. Tch. Only here.

[kingtyrantranger]

Bro, I've worked with Santa Claus up at the North Pole. And we had that Jack Frost kid running around for a week.

Just roll with it. Maybe you'll get some chocolate.

[Chocolate is always great.]

[bringinghopewithme]

[He chokes, suddenly, eyes widening in terror.]

No -

[But it comes out strained, and he clutches at his throat, straining to get the words out -]

We don't - exist - unless you -

[The strain is too much. The omnicom, set up against a rock somewhere, stays where it is as Bunny crumples, dropping out of sight as he fights to get the words out.]

If you don't - believe - I'll - stop -

[Whatever he meant to finish saying, he doesn't get it out before there's a loud thud, and silence from the screen, empty of any bunnies, Easter or otherwise.

It's a few more seconds before Bunny starts laughing.]

[bringinghopewithme]

Jack Frost? Blue jumper, carries a big stick, incapable of speaking softly? That Jack Frost?

[thedreamisdead]

If I needed to cover the planet in a day, I'd look into teleportation or robots.

[Work smarter, not harder.]

I could pull up his mug shots if I wanted to know what he really looked like. Never saw the need, though.

[Note to self: The new member associates with known criminals.]

Judge Beeny. [Not Sheila. Then again, Ozzies weren't exactly right in the head. Maybe she should cut a little slack.] I'm guessing you got tuned down about as much as most of us got tuned up.

[kingtyrantranger]

Yeah! He hung around for a while, then kinda vanished. I guess the Time Trapper sent him home when he realized that we had three people with ice powers on the team at once.

Didn't get to know him very well, though.

[bringinghopewithme]

Psh. You're havin' one over on me.

[Foxes and rabbits? Hanging out together? Sure he's been around Reynard a time or two but they've never hung out. And he's the only rabbit who talks.]

Who was the fox?

[bringinghopewithme]

The little larrikin didn't say a thing about it to the rest of us! I'll have words for him when I get back to our present.