(no subject)

[bringinghopewithme]

[This isn't the first time there's been a video post on Legion's network made by a rabbit, but it is the first time the rabbit making it is six feet tall, with an accent thick enough to cut with a knoife.]

G'day, mates. I'm the Easter Bunny.

[This would be the place to insert a punchline, if this were a joke. Bunny does not insert one. Actually, by his smug smile, he seems pretty proud of the title.]

I'm gonna need to get down to Earth sooner rather than later. Gettin' dragged out here did away with most've my powers, and I need to get down to a real bush to figure out what I've still got. Who's headed planetside when?

Comments

video

[captainbuzzkill]

[Somebody has a little red notebook open and a pencil in hand.]

First question: would you categorize yourself as a spirit with a reputation for giving away candy, a tulpa artificially created by belief, or a figment of people's imagination given life by world physics that allow beings to exist in the mindscape, currently personified in a flesh and blood body by the Time Trapper?

Second question: bunnies and Jesus having the same holiday, what's that about?

Third question: eggs and candy? What's the root cause of their association?

[A pause, and he looks up from his notebook.]

Don't worry, this isn't an interrogation, I'm just trying to categorize you for science.

[Another pause, as he realizes maybe this is a little awkward. He tries to defend himself.]

I'm writing it all down. That's what makes it science.

Video

[bringinghopewithme]

[Look at the little scientist, doing his science! That's adorable.]

None of the above. Good guess, though. I know a lotta spirits who could fit those bills.

[And since there's no real point in being too vague and mysterious -]

Try 'ascended mortal.' That's closer to the mark.

[And then the kid has to go bringing religion into the question, and man, Bunny just hopes he's not messing with some mortal's faith too much with all this. They take that so seriously.]

That one's on you mortals. I used to give the eggs and candy closer to the equinox, but now I'm expected at Easter. The way you teach your myths to your kids don't change us, but we pay attention. As for the eggs and candy - They make good gifts around springtime. I happen to know how to grow eggs out of flowers, and paint 'em up beautiful. I also happen to make just about the best candy you've ever had. Come the end of winter, when mortals start needing hope, what's a better gift than something beautiful you can eat?

There's your answers. Were they scientific enough, or do y'need me to sketch a microscopy of an egg-growing flower cell to go with it?

[If he can talk to a kid in science terms - there's no way he's going to skip that opportunity.]

Re: Video

[captainbuzzkill]

[It's not messing with his faith. His agnosticism has turned into a slightly dystheist "hey, god, I refuse to believe in you until you explain why you're such a dick that you have a spirit of vengeance running around" kind of thing.]

Interesting, interesting.

[Yes, he's writing it all down.]

[At the offer of the sketch, he raises an eyebrow.]

Would you be willing to do that?

Video

[bringinghopewithme]

[A few strokes of the paintbrush later, Bunny holds up an ink illustration that could come right out of a particularly old-fashioned biology textbook. It's certainly different from any botanical illustration Dipper has ever seen, if Dipper has looked at many botanical biopsies of flowers.]

They took ages to engineer, and they don't grow anywhere but in my home, but here y'go. You can keep the original, if you ever want it.

[The kid appreciates science, maybe he's the sort of appreciator of science who can appreciate a one-of-a-kind illustration of a magical plant that only grows in the place where all life on (an) Earth was born.]