(no subject)

[thedreamisdead]

[There's no getting around it. It's an essay. About the dangers of sugar abuse on your health, linked to several medical articles. In it, she links the abuse of sugar to depression, diabetes, dopamine imbalances, fueling cancer cells and making tumors more aggressive, impotence, increased risk of heart attacks and heart disease, increased inflammation leading to joint pain and arthritis, increased risk of strokes, kidney failure, and rotting teeth.

Included in her essay is a list of signs of sugar abuse, including false teeth, rotten teeth, pupil dilation, jitteriness, mid-afternoon 'crashes', and other symptoms.

She wraps up with a plea for people to seek help and rehabilitation for their addictions and avoid anyone who might try to push such addictive substances on them.]

Comments

Audio

[lovernotafighter]

[Boring boring boring. Tucker skimmed it for a few seconds because what could keep his attention that long until he saw--]

Impotence?!?

Audio

[thedreamisdead]

There's a gene, it's called SHBG. Sex Hormone Binding Globulin. When your liver breaks down sugar and certain artificial sweeteners, it deactivates the SHBG gene, leading to lower sexual hormone levels.

For you, that leads to a lower libido or even total erectile dysfunction.

For women, that can lead to infertility, uterine cancer, or polycystic ovaries.

[Time to nail it home. Tucker's an easy one, at least judging from what she's seen on the comms.]

Have you ever noticed a... lack of desire a few hours after ingesting high levels sugar? Perhaps while you're crashing?

text

[whyarewehere]

tl;dr

text

[thedreamisdead]

That's fine. I'm certain Tucker will give you the cliff notes.

Video so you can see this face

[unspeakablyevil]

Ah, what a shame for you humans.

Video

[thedreamisdead]

I only regret that sugar addiction is apparently an interspecies issue.

video;

[nofortunateson]

[Someone is here and looking far too amused by the mayhem America's PSA is producing. Plus he's been sitting on the knowledge of how the last mission shook out for entirely too long.]

Partnering up with the bunny was that traumatic, huh.

video;

[thedreamisdead]

He leaves chocolate on the ground for children.

[Video]

[calibrates_big_guns]

Well. That's awkward timing.

[Garrus says after swallowing the piece of chocolate he'd been chewing on and grabbing another from the box.]

Not that any of this applies to me, but ...

[He shrugs, popping the second piece into his mouth.]

[Video]

[thedreamisdead]

I thought you couldn't eat human food?

[Video]

[lovernotafighter]

Dude, seriously? I don't know if you read that, but there's some pretty compelling shit about how supposedly chocolate breaks your dick. I'm assuming you guys have dicks, and I'm assuming you don't want it broken, so, you know, you might want to stop eating that stuff.

[unrecovered]

Here's what I don't get: there are any number of substances out there that are instantly addictive to a good number of sentients, fatal in small doses to another, and so illegal you can only get them in the black market on Rimbor-

But you're going after sugar, which is harmful only in large, sustained doses, fairly innocuous otherwise, and completely legal.

Is this a masochism thing? Do you just enjoy spitting into the wind?

[thedreamisdead]

Sugar is the most harmful substance that members of the Legion allow in their own bodies. Other than alcohol, but at least people try to moderate that.

[Besides, booze isn't illegal.]

The Science Police handle the other drugs without needing my help. [Except when one of her obsessive little side-projects uncovers a drug den and she co-opts a few officers to raid it.] I'm just trying to keep the team clean of the 'legal' stimulants.

[video]

[steelandtemper]

I could have compiled this for you a lot faster, you know.

[She knows how to cherry-pick studies, too!]

[video]

[thedreamisdead]

I respect you too much to waste your time on trivialities such as writing educational essays.

[walkingballpit]

[ Robbie has a clear bowl bigger than his head. Salad for 10 would fit in it. Instead, it's loaded with a rainbow of sugar, food coloring, and "fruit flavoring". Slowly, deliberately, he scoops up a handful and eats it like he's Alan Rickman drinking tea staring straight into the camera like President Underwood. ]

[thedreamisdead]

That might be in the top twenty most disgusting things I've ever seen. And I've sat in on fatty eating contests.

video

[whyarewehere]

[ Grif applauds. ]

Text

[goddamngrenades]

So I should cancel the Legionwide Bake-off?

Text

[thedreamisdead]

I think that would make Tucker happy.

[Then again, York's just the kind of person to hide weed in whatever he cooks. She'd have to keep an eye on these things.]

video

[justicecrusader]

[ Reinhardt's laughing.

He's laughing so hard.

There's nothing else to this comment. Just laughing. ]

video (lmfao i wrote this before seeing robbie's. pretend they posted the same time I guess?)

[captainbuzzkill]

[Dipper shows up on screen with a bowl that's nearly filled to the brim with maple syrup. Floating in that maple syrup are chocolate sprinkles and rainbow colored marshmallow bits fished out of a box of Mellow Mallow Cereal.]

[Very casually, he starts spooning the toxic concoction into his mouth, eating it as if it's just a normal bowl of cereal. He doesn't say a word as he does it. He just sits there slowly eating it on screen.]

[Normally, he doesn't eat what he and Mabel call "Special Mix" anymore, because Wash has really come down on him about having a healthy diet, but he figures he'll forgive him just. This. Once.]

[thedreamisdead]

And yet people think that access to sugar is at a sane level.

[Disgusting.]

video

[orbislife]

[ Zenyatta head tilts to the side. What prompted this? ]

Does anyone know how to effectively clean electronics from spilled sugary carbonated beverages? If there is such a sugar epidemic on Legion World, I would like to be prepared.

[ He is also 100% not serious about his question. ]

video

[thedreamisdead]

Absorbent cloth soaked with rubbing alcohol, frequently squeezing out excess liquids.

[headinjuries]

Thanks for the statistics, Fun Police.

[thedreamisdead]

You're welcome, Kid Nova.

video

[iamresponding]

So what if your body's barely human anymore and doesn't metabolize sugar in a way where it'll clog your arteries? Got an answer for that one?

video

[thedreamisdead]

I'd still be concerned about hormone levels, insulin levels, elastin damage, joint inflammation, and the other issues I discussed.

[Video]

[bringinghopewithme]

Y'know, if you wanted to get my attention, y'could have just said g'day.

Or were you just too tuckered out after a long day of cherry picking?