thelegion | (no subject)

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[There's no getting around it. It's an essay. About the dangers of sugar abuse on your health, linked to several medical articles. In it, she links the abuse of sugar to depression, diabetes, dopamine imbalances, fueling cancer cells and making tumors more aggressive, impotence, increased risk of heart attacks and heart disease, increased inflammation leading to joint pain and arthritis, increased risk of strokes, kidney failure, and rotting teeth.

Included in her essay is a list of signs of sugar abuse, including false teeth, rotten teeth, pupil dilation, jitteriness, mid-afternoon 'crashes', and other symptoms.

She wraps up with a plea for people to seek help and rehabilitation for their addictions and avoid anyone who might try to push such addictive substances on them.]

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Nah, this is part of me and Mabel's secret snack stash that Wash doesn - ha, yeah. I mean, totally ran down to the mess. Had to run all the way down there at top speed.

[He cringes slightly, hoping Wash doesn't see what he just said, but he's still grinning.]

So what does yours actually taste like?

Now, is this the one we both know I know about, one of the two you think I don't know about, or did you manage another one?

[He's impressed with Dipper's ingenuity. He's far less impressed with Dipper's motormouth.]

Or I can go with option 4: Denial.

[He holds out his hands like he's totally mystified.]

Whaaaat? A hidden snack stash? I was just joooking.

[Yep, he's got a fourth snack stash in there somewhere.]

Has that ever worked?

[ Robbie licks his finger, dips in the bowl, and licks it again thoughtfully, really trying to identify what one would call this. ]

It tastes like the sad Halloween candies ground to a powder. Smarties, Mary Janes, Dots, Whoppers, Mike & Ikes... the stuff at the bottom of the pillow case that nobody wants.

[Dipper's eyes go wide.]

Okay, that means you should probably eat all of it. All of it.

Just trust me on this. Eat the candy or the candy might eat you.

[He's only half joking.]

[ Robbie is well aware Dipper's world is nuts, so he's not going to completely adult the answer.

Dip, I couldn't finish this if I tried. I'd get sick. I don't think I ever could've eaten the whole thing.

But candy eating man is a new one for me.

Edited 2017-10-22 12:11 (UTC)

I've seen it.

[Her tone is... grim.]

[ Okay, America's world is a different shade of nuts entirely. Less fantastical, more crazy-dark. Robbie drops all jest. ]

I'd rather not know the details, unless it's something I have to worry about here. I have enough nightmares.

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