thelegion | (no subject)

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[There's no getting around it. It's an essay. About the dangers of sugar abuse on your health, linked to several medical articles. In it, she links the abuse of sugar to depression, diabetes, dopamine imbalances, fueling cancer cells and making tumors more aggressive, impotence, increased risk of heart attacks and heart disease, increased inflammation leading to joint pain and arthritis, increased risk of strokes, kidney failure, and rotting teeth.

Included in her essay is a list of signs of sugar abuse, including false teeth, rotten teeth, pupil dilation, jitteriness, mid-afternoon 'crashes', and other symptoms.

She wraps up with a plea for people to seek help and rehabilitation for their addictions and avoid anyone who might try to push such addictive substances on them.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

A) Totally not afraid of you, dude because I just have to toss some oreos around and you'll leave me alone.

B) THIS ISN'T FUN FOR ME! Just yes or no. Fuck, just nod or shake your head when you see me! Something! Anything!

1. fair
2. nah

So your dick IS broken. Fuck man, no wonder you don't ever want to do anything and you're an asshole. Explains a lot.

Now I have to eat salads for the rest of my fucking life.

TUCKER. Sugar is NOT going to make your dick fall off. Jesus.

Okay, first: it'd take a chainsaw to remove something this massive and wonderful from my body. And second: I mean, what if it DOES fuck with its performance?

Also, I thought you'd be totally on board with me eating salad. You know, other than the obvious comment that I'm totally not make right now.

Okay, one, if you're really that worried about it, either do your own research or talk to one of the doctors in medbay. That's kind of what they're there for.

Two, yes, I do want you to have a healthier diet, but I also learned a long time ago that scaring you into doing things doesn't work in the long run! Eating nothing but cookies all the time will fuck you up; having a cookie every once in a while will not.

Yeaaaah, I can't lie about that; I pretty much half-assed most of the drills you gave me and I still turned out okay.

[Barring one scar...]

Fuck, man, did you see all that paperwork, though? And are you suuuuuure you're not just saying that for other reasons?

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unrecovered - 2017-10-21 01:52 (UTC) - Expand

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lovernotafighter - 2017-10-21 13:23 (UTC) - Expand

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unrecovered - 2017-10-21 19:16 (UTC) - Expand

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lovernotafighter - 2017-10-22 19:12 (UTC) - Expand

I don't know buddy, consider your sources here. Do you think Wash wants your business in top form? Or is it easier on him if you're down a few pegs?

Wait, do you mean my business business, or just all of my badassery? Because if Wash wants anything about my business business then I'm both confused and afraid.

[Oh well, so much for keeping his shit-stirring subtle. Still worth it.]

I'm asking you to consider whether Wash's life is actually easier if your junk is out of commission, Tucker.

Everyone's life would be. Who could compete with all this?

[God, don't answer that.]

So that's why Wash was always yelling at me to stop sleeping naked.

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nofortunateson - 2017-10-21 02:21 (UTC) - Expand

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lovernotafighter - 2017-10-21 13:28 (UTC) - Expand

North? I know you have no way of knowing this, but I busted my ass for months trying to get my team to a place where they could handle themselves if anything happened to me.

You want to be funny, fine, I get it. Just don't undermine that aspect of things. I'm already going to have to get Tucker back to normal when America's done fucking with him, and that's going to be a hell of a lot harder if he doesn't trust me.

[Not that he thinks Tucker will throw away the deeper levels of their trust that easily, but he's pretty damn volatile where his dick is concerned and damn if surface damage isn't hard to work past.]

Wait.

You actually think I can convince him that you're in on a conspiracy to sabotage his dick.

[What the hell is your team, Wash.]

On some level, yes. Not enough to fuck up field operations, but enough to make everything else a lot more difficult.

Look, I already have to clean up the mess America's making. Please don't make this any harder on me.