and I'm Claire. [Video/Open]

[pump_action]

[The feed opens on what could be a stock footage from a business video; Claire has found her habitat and she's broadcasting from behind the desk of her office, overlooking a corporate campus. She herself is dressed smartly in pale colors.]

Good afternoon, Legion. I thought I should introduce myself. My name is Claire Dearing, otherwise known as The Director. [Keeping it professional, but there's still a little hesitance with her 'superhero name' because seriously, she's a grown woman.]

Back home I was Director of Park Operations for a, uh ... an amusement park, [Sure yeah let's leave it there,] and I'd like to offer my services to anyone who might need business advice. This can be anything from finances, public relations, general or specialized business practices.

[Please just give her something normal to work with.]

Thank you, and I look forward to working with you.

Comments

[whyarewehere]

Grif. Or Doubletime. Speedster.

[ Grif shrugs lazily. ]

Kind of a big career change you've got going on here, huh?

[pump_action]

[Oh, he's got ... a pretty impressive helmet. A little intimidating. It's a little unsettling not being able to read someone's face as they're talking.]

Not if I can help it. [Business smile.]

Do you have any business questions, Grif?

[whyarewehere]

[ Grif scoffs. ]

No way. First rule about me? I don't do work.

...Mostly. I'm kind of making some exceptions until reality's not in jeopardy.

[kickpushbaby]

The Director makes you sound like a creepy super villain.

[ #helpful ]

[pump_action]

[Oh that's ... actually a bit of a blow. She's not good with these superhero things, okay?]

Oh ... does it?

What would you suggest instead?

[kickpushbaby]

Kinda, yeah.

[ Don't worry, Claire, she's got you. Give her a minute, she's gonna put some serious thought into this. ]

Okay, how about The Business Runner?

[gonebyebye]

I'm Dr. Ray Stantz, Ghostbuster. You wouldn't be the first person here to run a business, although I will admit mine probably prepared me more for this than directing an amusement park would have.

[pump_action]

Oh really? What kind of business was it, I'd really like to pick your brain sometime.

[gonebyebye]

Paranormal investigation and containment. Basically we're exterminators, but for ghosts, demons, zombies, banshees, and the occasional Sumerian deity.

[calibrates_big_guns]

Garrus Vakarian, codename Archangel.

[Hopefully the tall alien with a metallic carapace and extensive facial scarring isn't too much of a shock.]

Glad to have you aboard. I'm not sure who runs the logistics end of things, but considering all the new arrivals I'm sure your experience would make someone's job a hell of a lot easier.

[pump_action]

[Sorry, he's basically a big talking raptor to her and she freezes and then chucks the omnicomm on the other side of the office out of instinct.]

[It's a couple more minutes before she comes into view, picking up the edge of the omnicomm and looking at the feed again.] You talk.

[She didn't get any of what he was saying, just that it was words.]

[calibrates_big_guns]

[...]

[Well that was unexpected.]

Last I checked. [His words are slow and cautious - like he's not quite sure what the hell he did, but he's trying to avoid doing it again.]

[thebioticwoman]

[Greetings, fellow redhead.]

Shepard, codename Sentinel. I personally vouch for Garrus's total lack of interest in eating other sapient species.

[Seriously, that reaction made her day. Good job, Claire.]

[pump_action]

[She finally lets out a weighted, relieved sigh.]

Oh I'm so happy to hear that. [Legitimately relieved.] I mean I've never, we don't have, uh, aliens, he's an alien, right? He's not like ... some super evolved lizard or something?

[thebioticwoman]

[She's not laughing, she's not laughing...but it's a near thing.]

He's a turian. Their homeworld is a couple hundred light years away from Earth.

[circusbat]

[He's trying to be good. He really, really is.]

"Total lack of interest in eating other sapient species"? Must be disappointing for his partner.

[But, sometimes, Dick is just a terrible person.]

[A terrible person with a shit-eating grin.]

[thebioticwoman]

[Shepard was already this close to losing it, and she finally cracks with a bark of laughter.]

[leverageintceo]

My business back home operates on an alternative revenue stream and public relations isn't really a concern. I want to hear about your amusement park.

[ The blond on screen is...doing one-armed pull-ups in what looks like a brew-pub somewhere. ]

Hardison might want to talk to you about the pub though, I'll tell him you offered if he doesn't see this himself.

[pump_action]

[Noooooo that's the last thing Claire wants to talk about. It takes her a moment of gentle stalling while she tries to think about what she can to do curb any uncomfortable questions.]

It was a pretty standard park. A thoroughfare, some rides, zoo elements and safari options.

[Claire can't help but be impressed by the pull-ups, though the other woman has certainly chosen an odd place to work out, and she hopes she can steer the conversation back to calmer waters.]

Thank you for the reference. I assume that's the pub you're currently exercising in?

Video

[lovernotafighter]

"The Director"? [Tucker made a noise; bad memories associated with that name, but probably half the people here could say the same with far more conviction and reasons than he ever had.] That's the name you went with?

[Hey, though, amusement park. That sounded pretty sweet.] So, what, you worked for Disney Land? [It wasn't like it could be Disney World considering, you know, Florida.]

Video

[pump_action]

[Claire throws her arms out in exasperation.] What does everyone have against The Director? It's a job title, it's self-explanatory! [Seriously what is wrong with everyone here?]

[She sighs and reaches up to rub her temples. Things she has learned; people hate directors, and love parks.] Not at the moment, no.

[You don't get to be in her position without making a name for yourself at other notable parks.]

[video]

[marryonette]

-An excited gasp.-

An amusement park?! What kind?! Were there rides?! WAS THERE A TUNNEL OF LOVE?!

[video]

[pump_action]

here were rides ... less kitschy tunnel of love and more ... jungle safari, or a river cruise.

[headinjuries]

An amusement park?

[ There are people who come here totally prepared, and there are people who - sound, at least - like they shouldn't be here at all. (If only Sam knew.) ]

So you, what, make sure nobody jumps out of the roller coasters?

[pump_action]

[She's certainly not the type to inspire confidence in her combative skills, but just wait until her first rodeo here; she's sure to surprise a lot of people.]

[Claire stares at the feed point blank at his question.] Following safety construction regulations and maintaining the integrity of the rides is integral to a well-functioning park. If I've done my job in that respect, then no; people cannot jump out of the roller coasters.

[Lets just not get into safety regulations concerning the zoo elements please and thank you.]