and I'm Claire. [Video/Open]

[pump_action]

[The feed opens on what could be a stock footage from a business video; Claire has found her habitat and she's broadcasting from behind the desk of her office, overlooking a corporate campus. She herself is dressed smartly in pale colors.]

Good afternoon, Legion. I thought I should introduce myself. My name is Claire Dearing, otherwise known as The Director. [Keeping it professional, but there's still a little hesitance with her 'superhero name' because seriously, she's a grown woman.]

Back home I was Director of Park Operations for a, uh ... an amusement park, [Sure yeah let's leave it there,] and I'd like to offer my services to anyone who might need business advice. This can be anything from finances, public relations, general or specialized business practices.

[Please just give her something normal to work with.]

Thank you, and I look forward to working with you.

Comments

[calibrates_big_guns]

Garrus Vakarian, codename Archangel.

[Hopefully the tall alien with a metallic carapace and extensive facial scarring isn't too much of a shock.]

Glad to have you aboard. I'm not sure who runs the logistics end of things, but considering all the new arrivals I'm sure your experience would make someone's job a hell of a lot easier.

[pump_action]

[Sorry, he's basically a big talking raptor to her and she freezes and then chucks the omnicomm on the other side of the office out of instinct.]

[It's a couple more minutes before she comes into view, picking up the edge of the omnicomm and looking at the feed again.] You talk.

[She didn't get any of what he was saying, just that it was words.]

[calibrates_big_guns]

[...]

[Well that was unexpected.]

Last I checked. [His words are slow and cautious - like he's not quite sure what the hell he did, but he's trying to avoid doing it again.]

[pump_action]

[Long pause, she's still only just peeking into frame, holding the omnicomm at arms length as if he's going to come through it at any moment.]

[Hey, it's new technology; she can't be too careful.]

Do you eat people. [Because she can't be too careful about that, either, and she wants to check and get it out of the way.]

[calibrates_big_guns]

[His first reaction is to sardonically reply that he's never tried it, but the moment he opens his mouth his better judgement takes over.]

No. I really doubt they'd keep me around here if I did.

[pump_action]

[Yeah, that probably wouldn't have gone over well.]

[Claire eases up with his answer and settles back down at her desk, setting the omnium down on the surface (still at arm's length).]

Oh, right. Good, that's ... good. But you don't do that at all? Regardless? It's not just ... keeping up appearances or anything?

[calibrates_big_guns]

No. [ He sighs ] I can honestly say that eating humans has never been something I've had an interest in trying.

[thebioticwoman]

Well, that's a relief.

[Just barely not cackling.]

[calibrates_big_guns]

Thanks.

[Said as flatly as possible, because you're not helping.]

Glad to set your mind at ease.

[thebioticwoman]

We're all levo, anyway. We wouldn't agree with you.

[Come on Garrus, this is hilarious.]

[calibrates_big_guns]

That's actually true. Trying to eat someone would literally kill me.

[ ... alright, maybe it is, but he doesn't want to give the woman a heart attack.]

[pump_action]

[She almost responds several times but ultimately just ends up staring dumbfounded at the feed. They're joking, right? They're joking. She's got nothing to worry about. Space raptor is not going to eat her face off.]

Good I'm glad we've got that established.

[It's fairly obvious she's nowhere near at ease as her comment might suggest. But at least she's not throwing the omnicomm anymore.]

[calibrates_big_guns]

I take it your version of Earth hasn't made contact with other species just yet.

[pump_action]

Nope. It's just us where I'm from.

[Just going to leave it at that. That's really all it is, nothing more.]