and I'm Claire. [Video/Open]

[pump_action]

[The feed opens on what could be a stock footage from a business video; Claire has found her habitat and she's broadcasting from behind the desk of her office, overlooking a corporate campus. She herself is dressed smartly in pale colors.]

Good afternoon, Legion. I thought I should introduce myself. My name is Claire Dearing, otherwise known as The Director. [Keeping it professional, but there's still a little hesitance with her 'superhero name' because seriously, she's a grown woman.]

Back home I was Director of Park Operations for a, uh ... an amusement park, [Sure yeah let's leave it there,] and I'd like to offer my services to anyone who might need business advice. This can be anything from finances, public relations, general or specialized business practices.

[Please just give her something normal to work with.]

Thank you, and I look forward to working with you.

Comments

[thebioticwoman]

[Shepard was already this close to losing it, and she finally cracks with a bark of laughter.]

[calibrates_big_guns]

[Garrus laughs ... just a little bit awkwardly, but he laughs because that was legitimately funny and he's man enough to admit that.]

Great. [He says, shaking his head as his mandibles pull up into a sort of wry grin.] Now she has back-up.

[thebioticwoman]

So how accurate is Fleet and Flotilla?

[No mercy. Unless he displays genuine discomfort, of course. Paragon lyfe.]

[calibrates_big_guns]

I'll let you know when Tali twists my arm into watching it.

[You're going to need to try harder than that, Shepard.]

[thebioticwoman]

It won awards, Garrus.

[Shepard hasn't seen it either. She just eavesdrops in bars.]

[calibrates_big_guns]

So did the elcor version of Hamlet.

[And he isn't exactly interested in that either.]

[thebioticwoman]

Hamlet is just a guy dithering for four hours. Or fourteen, as the case may be.

[She must have been a joy in high school lit.]

[calibrates_big_guns]

And Fleet and Flotilla is just two people dithering for twenty episodes.

[His opinion may have been colored by the fact that his mother and sister watched it on repeat when he was younger, but he calls it like he sees it.

[Sorry, Tali.]

[circusbat]

I'd apologize, but it was a pretty good opening.

Dick Grayson, by the way. I also go by Nightwing.

[calibrates_big_guns]

If banter bothered me, I probably wouldn't be friends with Shepard.

Garrus Vakarian, Archangel.

[circusbat]

Pleasure to meet you. And that's good, because I've made my reputation with a lot of banter over the years. Always good to find people who appreciate it.

[calibrates_big_guns]

Things are too boring without it, and I don't take myself seriously enough to be bothered by a few jokes between friends.

[Garrus shrugs.]

Besides, what's the point in having friends if you can't give them a hard time every once in a while.

[circusbat]

A rule that I and my friends have lived by since we were all pre-teens. Life's too short to take it seriously. It's especially too short to take yourself too seriously.

[calibrates_big_guns]

Especially when you're the type to hear gunfire and run towards the spray of bullets.

[Something about him gives Garrus the impression that Dick gets that impulse. Otherwise he's just going to sound crazy.]

[circusbat]

I think there aren't a lot of people who join the Legion and can't say that they'd do that.

Always a few, but not the majority, I think.

[Dick shrugs.] Also, the banter is good for getting people to stop shooting long enough to get disarmed, at least.

[calibrates_big_guns]

That actually works on yours?

[Garrus arches an eyebrow, mandibles flaring out in mock surprise.]

Usually the guys I deal with just get pissed off and pour it on harder.

[circusbat]

[Dick reaches up, rubbing his shoulder with a rueful smile.]

Well. Sometimes it works. Tends to work better when you're dropping on them from above before they realize you're even there. But I've been shot a couple of times for my trouble.

[calibrates_big_guns]

Well that I can relate to.

[Garrus tilts his head slightly, showing off the scars and burn marks all over the right side of his face.]

[circusbat]

[Dick grimaces, but more in the way of somebody commiserating rather than anybody who finds the scars distasteful.]

Luckily, nobody's tried to do much more to my face than rearrange it via fist. Which heals well enough.

[calibrates_big_guns]

Piss off enough people and they get creative about trying to rearrange it.

[Garrus says with a shrug.]

Hopefully the guys on your end don't have the budget to afford a gunship.

[His expression is hard to read, but there's humor in his voice.]

[circusbat]

[Dick pauses, giving that a few moments of consideration before he shakes his head.]

It's less that they couldn't afford it. Because I'm pretty sure at least one or two of them could. But the main one wouldn't do it unless he could find a way to make it funny.

[calibrates_big_guns]

"Funny." [ His mandibles shift curiously.] Something tells me we need to swap stories some time.

[circusbat]

Any time you want. I'm sure we both have some doozies.

[circusbat]

[Nothing wrong with making the ladies laugh. At least, not when that's what you were going for in the first place.]