just a simple question | voice

[ordinarily]

Where are the burgers?

[ This is the voice of a very distressed teenager. Very distressed. ]

I get that it's the space future, but the nurse was lying when she said they don't serve meat. Right?

[ Silence. ]

... Right?

Comments

[resist_the_future]

I would like that question answered as well.

[ordinarily]

I'm glad we're on the same page.

[resist_the_future]

The lack of meat content in their hamburgers is especially concerning to me.

[ordinarily]

Yeah, as it turns out? The trade off for ending up in the space future is that real meat doesn't exist here.

I feel like I'm playing that one game where you get asked if you'll press the button.

[resist_the_future]

That is concerning, and explains why I have not found a hamburger since arriving here.

[priorities]

I haven't heard of that game before. Can you explain it to me?

[walkingballpit]

Funny story. As far as they're concerned here, they serve burgers. Hot dogs. Pepperoni pizza.

What they don't serve is meat and any animal products at all - so yeah, it's fake cheese as well because curdled moo juice is a no go.

[ordinarily]

[ Oh god it's Sam's paradise and Tucker's personal hell. ]

... You're joking right now, right?

[walkingballpit]

Be glad I'm not telling you where the fish sticks come from. You'd never be able to wear socks again.

[ordinarily]

... Everything about that sentence freaks me out.

[walkingballpit]

Perfect! You'll be too terrified to ask anyone about the ingredients, and your feet will be warm so you won't catch space germs.

The more you know. Or the less you know. I don't recommend thinking about America's meatvision and the conservation of mass.

[whyarewehere]

We're pretty much in a very shiny hell.

[ordinarily]

Yeah, I'm getting that impression.

[whyarewehere]

You know, now that I think about it? I really appreciate how I can just say that to people about the meat situation and almost everybody agrees with me. I feel like it really brings us together as a team.

Anyway.

I'm Grif. Or Doubletime. Speedster.

[ordinarily]

It's funny, I have a friend back home who would absolutely love this. She's an ultra-recyclo vegetarian, and this is basically right up her alley.

I guess whenever I go back home, I can tell her all her dreams come true.

My name's Danny. Ghost Boy. You can probably guess what kind of powers I have.

[unrecovered]

She wasn't lying. Welcome to the vegan spacefuture.

[And then, because he can't just leave it there:]

For what it's worth, America has meat vision - she can literally make meat appear, and she's the only one here who can. She's also a cop from a post-apocalyptic hell dimension and tends to think just about everything is illegal, so approach with caution.

[ordinarily]

... Okay, a few things.

One: Who hates their kid enough to call them America?

Two: Meatvision?

Three: ... Actually, no, it's just those two.

[unrecovered]

One, it's not the weirdest name I've ever heard; two, yep; and three, it says something that 'post-apocalyptic hell dimension' is the one thing you don't question.

[ordinarily]

[ Honestly, not even the meat vision was that shocking to him, thanks to the Lunch Lady Ghost. It was more just... why would the Time Trapper consciously give someone meat vision? ]

I'm from Amity Park, dude. I have a hell dimension in my basement.

[thedreamisdead]

My father named me in memory of my mother.

My mother was named because her parents were immigrants who loved the American dream.

But if you wanted to stick to soy products, all you had to do was ask.

[ordinarily]

[ Oh. Good. Now he feels like shit. ]

I'll uh... I'll just shut up now.

[walkingballpit]

Damn, Meatron Mama Morton, you don't have to jump all over the new kid. He probably didn't mean any harm. I make fun of Rich Rider's name on a weekly basis.

[muroieda]

Hahahahaha!!!

Welcome to yer new life as a vejjo, mate!

[ordinarily]

Kill me now.

[muroieda]

I can arrange that! How much ya payin'?

[ordinarily]

How do you feel about the low price of free?

[ Danny you know he's not kidding right stop this ]