AUDIO: Whoops.

[kingtyrantranger]

[Whoops. That'd been a thing for a while.

His voice snaps onto the omnicomm, filled with good humor. Jason's still not comfortable with the omnicomm's video function, especially since he's still having to dot his face with anti-fungal cream.]

I'm gonna start this off with a warning. Doublecheck to be sure that the mail you're opening is actually yours. I had to figure that out when I accidentally picked up something meant for Brainiac 5. The good news is that I'm now out of quarantine and the med techs are pretty sure I'm not going to grow any more mushrooms.

Thanks, guys. I don't know if I can look at a pizza the same way again, though.

[He'd spent most of the past few weeks trying to learn the Interlac alphabet on his own, without the earpieces translating for him. Might keep those mix-ups from happening again.

His voice takes on a wry tone, almost apologetic.]

So it sounds like I missed some action and a few new romances. Sorry about that, gang. For the new guys I missed, hey. I'm Jason, from Angel Grove, California, and I don't really do anything exciting. Nice to meet you all.

Comments

[whyarewehere]

Sup Jason, I'm Grif. And unfortunately, doing exciting things is kind of mandatory around here.

[Grif seems to be relaxing somewhere sunny with his omnicomm way too close to his face for more detail to be made out. He's gone with video, apparently.]

It sucks but hey, what are you gonna do?

[kingtyrantranger]

[Jason is gonna stick to audio. Because audio is cooler.]

You're the zippy guy, right? I remember seeing you do some big thing when we first came here.

[Well. Big. He seems to recall laughing at seeing Grif so out of breath. He hadn't quite figured out his own powers then, so he didn't really speak up then.

He laughs, though.]

I already got my cool flight ring, though! And helped with goopey aliens when everything caught fire. If that's not exciting enough, I think I need to see if any Stallone films survived the test of time and give myself some upgrades.

[He'd already been depressed that apparently Jackie Chan wasn't a huge figure a thousand years into the future. He's not sure if he really wants to see if a sixth Rocky movie got made, though. That Judge Dredd movie looked like it could've been good...]

[whyarewehere]

Yeah that's me. [He's pleased to be remembered, not really getting that other people thought it was funny.]

I bet you they have a bunch of superhero stuff. Apparently the Justice League is real here. Which is another reason why it's way cooler than my world.

[kingtyrantranger]

[Hey, Jason's not the kind of jerk who'll pop someone's bubble like that. He'll just let the guy be happy.]

If superheroes are this common here, would there be a difference?

[leverageintceo]

Is stealing mail still a crime?

[Parker seems genuinely interested in the answer.]

Because apparently it totally is where I'm from! Isn't that weird?

[kingtyrantranger]

I'd think so. I mean stealing is stealing, isn't it?

[It doesn't seem that weird to him, but his view is a little more black and white than some. Or you could just call it naive, that works too.]

This one was more of a mistake on my end, though. I probably would've left it alone if I'd realized it wasn't mine.

[And then Brainy would've gotten face shrooms. Or maybe he would've expected it? Probably.]

[leverageintceo]

So it's okay if you're stealing bad people's mail so that you can make them destroy themselves.

[Parker has a...unique moral compass. Sorry, Jason.]

It's not usually something I bother with. Too many moving parts. It's just easier to steal things before they ship out than to try and snag them in transit, or after they've arrived at their new location.

[kingtyrantranger]

Um.

[This all sounds pretty illegal to be doing. Or be talking about. Oh man. Parker, Jason is a huge stick in the mud. When Alpha 5 presented him as an overbearing and overemotional adolescent human, the robot lied.]

Well, I mean. I kinda guess I can see it, but that still sounds like something you'd get in a lot of trouble over. Maybe it's not the best thing to be doing? At all?

[ringslinging]

[ The wince in Hal's voice is almost audible. ]

Oh. I think I remember those. I assume they already told you not to scratch.

[ Stories from Hal Jordan's rookie days that are best left untold: this one. ]

Hal, Coast City, California.

[kingtyrantranger]

They practically put my hands in socks.

[Weird, gel-y socks. It was grody. Still, Jason laughs easily enough at the memory.]

Could be worse, I guess. I'm pretty much better.

[Just waiting for the last of the sores to clear up so he can appear in public without looking like the Polka Dot Man.

He's not sure he's heard of Coast City, but he figures that it'd probably be rude to go 'Never heard of it'. Hal can probably guess he hasn't, anyway.]

Nice to meet you, Hal.

[ringslinging]

If you've got a sense of humor about it, then clearly no lasting harm was done.

[mirror_soldier]

That seems like a rather dire mistake for them to make.

[Why yes, he is just going to ignore that comment about new romances.]

[kingtyrantranger]

[In case you can't hear his brain rattling from over the audio line, Jason's shaking his head.]

Nah, it was all my fault. I'm having a hard time with some of the accents, even with the telepathic earplugs. I was hanging out in one of the cargo bays, talking to one of the lifters. [She'd been cute. Two too many arms, but still cute.] Anyway, I thought she said that it was a package from Brainiac 5 and she actually wanted me to take it to Brainiac 5.

Could have happened to anyone, I bet.

[mirror_soldier]

I see.

[It still seemed like something the lifter should have delivered their self instead of leaving the burden to someone relatively new to Legion World, but it was more understandable.]

Is this the first time the issue of understanding accents has been this big of a problem since you've been here?

[got_gud]

[Alexander had just gotten one of the Legion tech staff to show him how this damnable device worked, and in the spirit of jolly cooperation, he decided to use it to get to know his fellow Legionnaires. Besides, responding to Jason's message would be good practice in using his new omnicomm.]

Greetings, Jason. I am Alexander of Astora, recently joined to the Legion. I am pleased to make your acquaintance...much as it were.

[The idea of leaving messages for someone else to receive at a later time wasn't entirely odd to him, it was mostly just the way it was recorded that still left him a bit confused.]

Mushrooms are indeed quite dangerous. In my world, there are some that are animate and quite irate most of the time. I was once punched back several meters by one.

[A pause.]

Elizabeth was quite pleasant, though. Quite well spoken, too, as mushrooms go.

[Lordran was a strange place.]

[kingtyrantranger]

[Alexander of Astoria? He's heard a few people from New York since coming here, but this guy's accent doesn't sound like something he's heard from the movies.]

It's a small world. Smaller, if we're on the same team, I guess. We'll probably meet face to face in no time. Anyway, welcome to the Legion!

[Moving mushrooms? That sounds like something Rita would get up to. But, then again, so would creepy ink aliens who take over bodies.

...Scratch that, actually. That was a bit creepier than most of Rita's monsters.

Jason whistles, though. It was still impressive!]

A few meters? That must have hurt. Do you run into those often?

pfffft

[got_gud]

Only occasionally, in a small region known as Darkroot Garden. They're not much of a threat if you steer clear of them and their...children, I suppose. There are little ones that aren't nearly as dangerous, at any rate.

[He wasn't entirely sure how mushroom people reproduced, and was happy to stay ignorant on that fact.]

The real threats were the stone guardians and the ents. Giant white and red mushroom people are easy to pick out from afar in the middle of a forest. Moss-covered stone giants and plant people, not quite as much.

[deafleppard]

sorry but i gotta ask

mushrooms?

[kingtyrantranger]

[It takes a while to respond. He's been here for a while, but he's still a two fingered typist.]

Mushrooms. It was gross.

I opened it up and there was just this cloud. A few minutes later and I was itching pretty bad. Those sonic showers didn't work so I headed on to Medical and I was sprouting before I even got there.

So yeah. It blowed.

[deafleppard]

i'm glad that you're mushroom-free now. stay sober.

no trauma, even?

text

[googledox]

It was meant to be rather mean-spirited prank at my expense. It's not atypical -- there are many that blame me for the rest of our team going missing and our subsequent limitations in protecting the United Planets since.

I usually scan most of my mail before opening it but Jason opened it by mistake. Fortunately, the infection was easily treatable.

[deafleppard]

so this actually kind of normal for you?

wow. jerks.

[wherenoonegoes]

...that's one of the most disgusting things I've ever heard of, and I've eaten regurgitated raw fish.

[kingtyrantranger]

That sounds so gross, man.

[What? It did!]

I don't know, I might take the mushroom treatment over the second-hand fish. I love sushi, but. Bro. Wow.

[wherenoonegoes]

In my defense, it was once, and under duress.

Dragon-befriending tip? When a dragon you're trying to gain the trust of hocks up half a fish and decides to sit back on his hind legs and stare down at you until you eat it, you eat it.