thelegion | AUDIO: Whoops.

[Whoops. That'd been a thing for a while.

His voice snaps onto the omnicomm, filled with good humor. Jason's still not comfortable with the omnicomm's video function, especially since he's still having to dot his face with anti-fungal cream.]

I'm gonna start this off with a warning. Doublecheck to be sure that the mail you're opening is actually yours. I had to figure that out when I accidentally picked up something meant for Brainiac 5. The good news is that I'm now out of quarantine and the med techs are pretty sure I'm not going to grow any more mushrooms.

Thanks, guys. I don't know if I can look at a pizza the same way again, though.

[He'd spent most of the past few weeks trying to learn the Interlac alphabet on his own, without the earpieces translating for him. Might keep those mix-ups from happening again.

His voice takes on a wry tone, almost apologetic.]

So it sounds like I missed some action and a few new romances. Sorry about that, gang. For the new guys I missed, hey. I'm Jason, from Angel Grove, California, and I don't really do anything exciting. Nice to meet you all.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Man, it's easily hit the top ten weirdest things that've ever happened to me, but it wasn't like it hurt or anything. I just looked like a ball of mushrooms for a while.

Besides, it wasn't like I was locked up alone. The med techs were there to chat and bring me stuff to do. I can probably recite the Legion charter by heart now.

[He was bored enough to be practicing the Interlac alphabet on the food labels. It was pretty bad.]

Section 5, go.

[In any other time this would totally be the part where Jason fumbles and looks at his friends for help. But, man, he's just been cooped up in that place for two months with not a whole lot to read.]

So, Section 5 of the Legion Constitution. Membership Activities.

First, "Upon admission, members are required to swear an oath of loyalty to the Legion of Super-Heroes in a manner as may be prescribed from time to time by the standing Committee on Constitutional Matters. A similarly prescribed oath shall be sworn by all Legionnaires annually at a re-dedication ceremony held at the Legion of Super-Heroes headquarters on Earth."

Second, "Active members shall keep the member or members charged with Mission Monitor Board Duty aware of their location at all times."

Third, "Active members shall be deputized as officers of the Science Police and, to the extent possible, shall cooperate with the Science Police Commander and his designated representative."

[He grins cheekily, even though the call's audio only. It's the small things, you know?]

You want me to keep going? There's eleven parts to this thing.

No, I think we both might want to jump out the window by the time you finish.

[ Golf claps! Nicely done, kid. ]

You can't see it, but I'm bowing.

It takes forever, but I guess they've got to have a lot of rules like that if they're going to be working as police officers.

Being a space cop is only half about punching aliens in the face and traveling to exciting new planets.

The other half is more bureaucracy than you ever wanted to know existed in the universe.

That makes being a space cop sound almost boring. I never really pictured filling out forms and such as part of superhero work. It just doesn't really seem to fit.

Vigilantes get it easy, but if you're working for a recognized authority? You have to justify yourself a lot. Don't even get me started on Internal Affairs.

[ He's not sure what kind of internal affairs they have in this century, but hopefully it's a lot less with the creepy than the Alpha Lanterns. ]

Wait, does the Legion have an Internal Affairs division? Or are we going to get investigated by the Science Police if we ever slip up like that?

[He pauses for a moment.]

...Does it really even matter if they have telepaths?

You know, I hadn't really looked into that, yet.

[ He probably should've. Hal was kind of known for bending the rules, after all. ]

It's probably important. I don't remember anything like it in the stuff I read. The only things I remember are, uh. The Science Police thing, a committee on Constitutional Matters, and some kind of Espionage Squad.

Maybe they'll just make up an investigation group if we mess up?

If it comes up rarely enough, an organization can make it a long way before they get the systems in place for that kind of thing. We didn't have anything formal in the Green Lanterns for ages. So yeah, I'd guess they put something together according to the circumstances.

Yeah, I guess. I mean, I've been on bigger sports teams than the Legion, ignoring all of the technicians and stuff. I guess they've just never needed it.

They were bigger before, but I'm not sure by how much, now that I think about it.

At least twenty, I wanna say? They had a lot of pictures and I'm honestly not sure who was Legion and who was, you know. A guest or something.

They probably have a roster we could just look up.

Probably easier to look for one than try to piece it together. The Justice League's active roster used to be a revolving door.

Can't be too hard to find a roster. They seem proud of their history.

That thing with the League must have been a pain to keep track of. Did you work with them? Or was this kind of a Doc Savage deal?

Helped found them. But I spend a lot of time off-planet, so I'm in and out a lot.

Is it rough being away from your friends like that? If you're out in space, it must take forever to get anywhere.

I'm busy enough not to think about it too hard, most of the time.

[You can't see it, Hal, but he's wincing. Hard. Talk about insensitive.]

Sorry.

Well, it must be pretty cool, though. Being all space heroey and all.

[ Ignoring feelings instead of dealing with them is Hal's default mode, really. ]

The good parts definitely outweigh the bad ones.

I'll bet. It sounds awesome.

[Hal probably doesn't want to spend forever indulging Jason about space adventures. He can always ask later.]

Well, I probably shouldn't take up too much more of your time. It was great to meet you!

Nice to meet you too, kid.

AUDIO: Whoops.

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