thelegion | Entries tagged with kyou tanaka/kid fluffums

[ Roughly fifteen, twenty minutes after Amercia's very helpful Anti-Sugar PSA (the more you know and all that Jazz) a random joke has become a thing. Out of...if not spite, but a desire for mischief. ]

Who's up for a bake-off? It's a mini competition where you, well, bake your best pie or cake or cookies or pastry or whatever you like, as long as baking is involved somehow, and submit them to categories of some kind to be judged and awarded prizes. Bragging rights are mostly what you get out of it, but- I figure we can have a little scientific application here. The Categories will be Baked with Artificial Sweeteners, Baked with Natural sugars- apples, cherries, letting fruit do the work and stuff- and Baked with good old fashioned sugar.

And a bonus category for baking while baked something that'll get you baked, if you get my meaning. Apparently it's entirely legal in some sectors in the vegan space future- or at least variations on the same. Who knew? Let's double dip in vices.

Totally not connected to the whole 'sugar is evil' thing, nope, not even a little. This is some good, clean, spite free fun. Honest. Is this the voice of a man that would lie to you?

Bring on your baked goods and, uh- I'm gonna need some volunteers to help as judges. Actual Judge experience not required.

sickhacks

Yo yo, check it!

[The vid opens up with a shot of what appears to be a young teen in a black full-ninja mask. Except he's wearing a red baseball cap. Backwards. And a gold chain around his neck.]

[Don't look nervous. Don't look nervous. He sketches a quick bow to the camera.]

My name's Dark Smoke Puncher, and it's a mad pleasure to make your acquaintance. Just got checked out by the docs a while ago and took the Legion oath, picked up my equipment, and I gotta say it's tight.

[He still can't believe this is real. And even with the revelation of the whole 'the universe is danger' thing, it's a welcome distraction from the damper on things back home. He'd be vibrating in his seat with excitement if he weren't trying to play it cool. These are superheroes he's talking to.]

[So instead, he crosses his arms in front of his chest and throws up a devil horn gesture, showing off his flight ring to the camera. It's placed over his glove, because of course it is. It's very shiny and gold against his outfit.]

From what I've heard, this Chronoblivion sucka's no joke. But I've got some nasty ninja skills of my own to bring to the table, and I'm - pretty good with robots too.

[He coughs.]

So yeah. See me around. Or don't. Because I'm a ninja.

steelandtemper

[What has no thumbs and is sick to death of gods and sorcerers and magic spears and all the similar crap that keeps popping up? This AI.

Well, actually, her hologram has thumbs, but they're currently not visible behind the equally holographic folded arms.]

Poll: how many of you are from universes where the supernatural is real? Magic, gods, shoe-making elves that aren't just a parable about virtue, whatever.

[Why Grimm's Fairy Tales? Why not Grimm's Fairy Tales? It's all equally nonsense as far as thorough-going materialist Cortana is concerned.]

letsgohurtpeople

[He almost doesn't want to make the stupid video but he knows that, as much as he wants to, he can't just hide away until the next mission, ninja in, and start doing...whatever. Hero stuff. Whatever it is that heroes do.]

[God, he's done it this time, hasn't he? Gotten into yet more hero crap, and he doesn't even know these assholes. At least back home, he and the other Remedial kids are friends now. Sure, he's hoping to eventually use them in his whole quest for vengeance, but at this point, they'd probably help out with that willingly.]

[Now he's got to make nicey nice with a bunch of strangers, when it was already hard enough to do it the first time. And apparently he's not allowed to kill anybody if he joins up with their outfit. The only way to really face this threat to all their worlds is with this stupid team, and that means he's got to follow their stupid rules.]

[So it's a very cranky ninja that appears on screen. His face is cowled; the small bit of skin that's visible is a bright blue. Two pointy white horns jut out from the sides of his forehead, and his eyes glow with a menacing orange glow. Even though his face is cowled, the way his eyes are crinkled up make it clear he's scowling under there.]

[When he speaks, his voice is low and raspy. He sounds like the teenage boy he is, but definitely the kind of teenage boy that smokes six packs a day. Also the Joisey accent is pretty unmistakable.]

'Sup, losers. My name's Kyou Tanaka. I've been told there's some kind of cosmic whatever we've gotta stab repeatedly in the face.

Which is a good thing because apparently the morons in charge of this outfit won't let us stab anything else in the face.

So you're going to not be seeing me hanging around a lot. I say "not" on account of, y'know, ninja. But on the off chance you ever do see me, like when I move in for the ki - uh, punching, for the punching - don't shoot me or blow me up with butt lasers or anything. I can heal from it, but seeing as most of you can't heal when I inevitably throw a shuriken in your eye on sheer reflex, you should probably save us both the trouble.

[He pauses. Shit, what else is he supposed to say?]

I guess I'm supposed to tell you my "superhero" name. [Quotey fingers. He only has four fingers on each hand.] It's Murderizer McKillinstuff.

[Another pause.]

Just because I'm following your stupid no-killing rules doesn't mean I have to like it.

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