(no subject)

[thedreamisdead]

[There's no getting around it. It's an essay. About the dangers of sugar abuse on your health, linked to several medical articles. In it, she links the abuse of sugar to depression, diabetes, dopamine imbalances, fueling cancer cells and making tumors more aggressive, impotence, increased risk of heart attacks and heart disease, increased inflammation leading to joint pain and arthritis, increased risk of strokes, kidney failure, and rotting teeth.

Included in her essay is a list of signs of sugar abuse, including false teeth, rotten teeth, pupil dilation, jitteriness, mid-afternoon 'crashes', and other symptoms.

She wraps up with a plea for people to seek help and rehabilitation for their addictions and avoid anyone who might try to push such addictive substances on them.]

Comments

Audio

[lovernotafighter]

[Boring boring boring. Tucker skimmed it for a few seconds because what could keep his attention that long until he saw--]

Impotence?!?

Audio

[thedreamisdead]

There's a gene, it's called SHBG. Sex Hormone Binding Globulin. When your liver breaks down sugar and certain artificial sweeteners, it deactivates the SHBG gene, leading to lower sexual hormone levels.

For you, that leads to a lower libido or even total erectile dysfunction.

For women, that can lead to infertility, uterine cancer, or polycystic ovaries.

[Time to nail it home. Tucker's an easy one, at least judging from what she's seen on the comms.]

Have you ever noticed a... lack of desire a few hours after ingesting high levels sugar? Perhaps while you're crashing?

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[whyarewehere]

tl;dr

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[thedreamisdead]

That's fine. I'm certain Tucker will give you the cliff notes.

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[whyarewehere]

ok but that implies i want them.

Audio

[lovernotafighter]

[Total. Erectile. Dysfunction. Were those real words or something out of his nightmares? Lower libido seemed impossible; even halved, he'd just be on the same field as the normal person. But a dick that didn't work? That's like having a bottle opener when everything was just in cans.]

J-just because you use science blah blah words doesn't make it true, you know. My stuff works fine.

[Other than a little quick trigger.

The question made him think, and he...wasn't sure. He hadn't really thought of it before and fuck, what if it was true?! What if--

Nope. NOOOPE.]

I'm ALWAYS full of desire. You're just trying to psych me out.

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[lovernotafighter]

It's a whole bunch of LIES about sugar breaking your dick.

[Wait for it...]

You eat more shit food than anyone else here and your dick works fine, right?

[And he immediately regretted asking it.]

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[lovernotafighter]

I DON'T WANT TO KNOW FOR ME! I only want your dick for proving science wrong!

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[ordinarily]

i cant believe i read this with my own two eyes

[thedreamisdead]

I'm merely concerned for the health of my teammates.

[It's a good thing he can't see her wolfish smile.]

I mean, and don't take this as an endorsement, but you could always test it out. Then again, who knows if this next time will be the last time, since your SHBG levels might not be recovering.

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[thedreamisdead]

It's sad the lengths to which an addict will go to hide the truth from themselves.

private text

[ordinarily]

please tell me your messing with him

i need to know if i can keep eating chocolate

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[whyarewehere]

[ Oh my god. What the fuck is this conversation. Why. ]

tucker believe me when i say i am never discussing any aspect of my dick with you. stop traumatizing the kids!

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[lovernotafighter]

The only thing I'm addicted to is being awesome!

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[whyarewehere]

this is why we can't take him anywhere.

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[ordinarily]

HEY

teenager

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[whyarewehere]

danny i'm trying to help.

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[ordinarily]

im just saying

not a kid

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[whyarewehere]

easy there sport.

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[ordinarily]

oh my god are you really doing this

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[lovernotafighter]

[He's not enjoying it either, you know! Your dick is the last thing in this entire galaxy that he wants to know about, especially not in enough detail to know how well it ...works. Or doesn't work. If it wasn't of the most dire of circumstances, he wouldn't even ask!

But he has to know. Has. To.]

Dude, just vaguely tell me in yes or no! If yours still functions, then I've got to be fine!

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[thedreamisdead]

Unless his being a speedster means that his SHBG production is appropriately enhanced as well. Overdosing on sugar as he does might be the only way he keeps a normal level.

private text

[thedreamisdead]

I'm playing on his fears a little, but the science is accurate. I would switch to artificially sweetened chocolate or dark chocolate coating naturally occurring sugars such as is found in fruit, if I were you.

private text

[ordinarily]

can it wait till college?

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[thedreamisdead]

Don't worry, I understand. I've worked with rehabilitation personnel before. When you're ready, let me know and I can help you through this.