thelegion | (no subject)

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[There's no getting around it. It's an essay. About the dangers of sugar abuse on your health, linked to several medical articles. In it, she links the abuse of sugar to depression, diabetes, dopamine imbalances, fueling cancer cells and making tumors more aggressive, impotence, increased risk of heart attacks and heart disease, increased inflammation leading to joint pain and arthritis, increased risk of strokes, kidney failure, and rotting teeth.

Included in her essay is a list of signs of sugar abuse, including false teeth, rotten teeth, pupil dilation, jitteriness, mid-afternoon 'crashes', and other symptoms.

She wraps up with a plea for people to seek help and rehabilitation for their addictions and avoid anyone who might try to push such addictive substances on them.]

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i cant believe i read this with my own two eyes

It's sad the lengths to which an addict will go to hide the truth from themselves.

please tell me your messing with him

i need to know if i can keep eating chocolate

I'm playing on his fears a little, but the science is accurate. I would switch to artificially sweetened chocolate or dark chocolate coating naturally occurring sugars such as is found in fruit, if I were you.

can it wait till college?

Healthy eating is important when you're a developing young man. You wouldn't want to be stunted somehow, would you?

[ This conversation would've probably had more impact if he hadn't been electrocuted by a ghost portal a year ago. ]

yeah im probably fine on that front

pretty sure all the ectoplasm in our basement will get to me before the sugar does

Sounds like a housing violation to me.

yeah the guys in white think so too

which would be okay if they werent so stupid about it

Men in White?

no
guys in white
as in thats literally their name
i mean they probably have a real name or something but
they never really use it

That sounds... professional?

[No. No, it does not.]

like i said
their stupid

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The only thing I'm addicted to is being awesome!

Don't worry, I understand. I've worked with rehabilitation personnel before. When you're ready, let me know and I can help you through this.

I don't need help! EVERYONE eats sugar and doesn't have sixteen doses of Viagra under their belt. I'm not going to be any different!

Have you ever noticed how, as people get older, their sex drive decreases? Have you ever wondered how much of that is due to years of sugar abuse building up and taking its toll?

[Oh. Oh god. Oh...no. No.]

But everything breaks when you're old!

Then explain all of those centenarians that are still sexually active.

Oh, yeah? Then how come some of the highest rates of STD's are at nursing homes?

Also, groosssss. But true.

The eldsters in those homes have their diets strictly limited and monitored, don't they? Not like Grandma who likes a cube or three in her tea.

Yeah, but that's because their fake teeth and old people guts can't handle that shit. They're still getting all freaky in those places.

[With Viagra.]

So, what you're saying to me is that there's no sugar in their diets and they get it on like rabbits?

[She'll let him draw the connection there.]

Goddamit!

this is why we can't take him anywhere.

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