Tinker, Tailor, Hero, Spy [Modplot/Network IC Post] [Part 2] [Set after the ambush ends]

[legionnpcs]

[Things are not good -- and that's the understatement of the century. Just about everyone got walloped and the native Legionnaires were at the epicenter of that collective wumping, targeted first by the Fatal Five in the hopes that with them out of the way the rookies would be easy to pick off.]

[Thankfully, the Fatal Five were wrong. The rookies took their lumps but they held their ground.]

Matter-Eater Lad here.

[His glasses only partly hide the massive shiner he's got, and he's wearing a neck brace. Hooray. Fortunately, those are much less bulky in the glorious robot future.]

Alright, ladies and gents and variations thereupon, I think it goes without saying that what just happened was the pits. Right now, half of us more experienced Legionnaires are in Medbay and Kid Q is still trapped in a time loop, even if we've managed to relocate her to Legion World. Brainiac thinks he can fix it but he's still a mess because his personality inhibitors got blown and he has to fix those first before he can even hope to think straight again.

Everyone's respective boo boos aren't the only thing we have to worry about though. The Fatal Five knowing all our weaknesses, and some of what they said, suggested there's a mole on Legion World passing them private medical scans and tactical data. Since the Science Police had jurisdiction, they've already arrested a suspect.

[He tilts his omnicom and they can see that the Science Police are in the background, arguing viciously with Timber Wolf, Officer Erin, and Umbra, and trying to drag away a handcuffed Rocket, who's wasting no time in arguing with them, too.]

["Hey! Hey, watch the sui--what do you mean, hand over my gun? That's my gun! I mean, I got more, but it's my gun! I told you, I ain't a spy! Or a mole, or whatever stupid word you wanna use! I didn't do it!" A pause. "Do I look like a sp--yes, I know spies don't look like spies, that's whole point, but you know what I mean!"]

[Back on Tenzil's face again.]

It's totally bogus. The only evidence against Rocket they have is all digital sign-ins and video, which is so easy to doctor in this time period that a Terellian spongebeast could do it. No physical evidence or witnesses. No prints or DNA at the console he was supposedly accessing the data from. But they're not listening to us.

[Rocket has not stopped arguing in the background. "You're all assholes. Complete friggin' assholes. Have I told you that? 'Cause I feel like I should. Shouldn't you be out policing science, instead of arresting people who didn't do anything?"]

[Tenzil lowers his voice.] Which means we're gonna have to take a few things into our own hands.

[The last thing they hear from Rocket as he's dragged off is: "--and somebody remember to go water the plants while I'm dealing with this shit! I come back and they're all dead, somebody's gonna get their ass shot, then bit by a flytrap!"]

[Tenzil goes into the Legion Leader's office for more privacy.]

The chances of any of you rookies wanting to take down the entire Legion, when it means Chronoblivion would make the multiverse go kaput, are slim. We think Rocket's innocent -- and if he's not, there needs be evidence that's a whole lot more reliable before charges are brought.

Kid Q's out of the loop -- stuck in the loop as it were -- so as Deputy Leader, I'm taking charge. While the rest of us are licking our wounds, I'm organizing a team from the Legionnaires that are still standing to investigate. It'll be a private affair. No reason the Science Police need to worry their pretty little heads over any possible investigations that might be running side-by-side with their own, right?

Some good news, by the by: other than 4 Science Police officers that went down in the first blast, we had no other fatal casualties. All the delegates survived, all but the 4 Scicops made it, there were no fatalities in the crowd, and even with taking our lumps we didn't lose any teammates. The Fatal Five had everything they needed to turn the attack into a massacre that could've destroyed two governments, and taken out the entire team. You did good.

Oh, and since we have some new people with absolutely impeccable timing, welcome to the Legion. Don't mind our dust. Or the multitudinous catastrophic injuries. If you have any general questions that aren't just "Why is absolutely everyone injured?" feel free to ask.

Comments

[AUDIO]

[kingtyrantranger]

Whoa, what?

[He'd let it all slide by because, honestly? It sounded a little boring. And then it turns out he missed some kind of attack and now they were arresting one of their teammates?]

How did they have jurisdiction over us? Is everyone okay? We're getting him out on bail, right?

[audio]

[legionnpcs]

One, the Science Police were in charge of security at the accords and the breach is therefore theirs to investigate. They're treating the mole's interference as part of their overall investigation.

Two, everyone's okay. The team took a lot of injuries, but nothing the Medbay can't fix up. Everyone really pulled together and looked out for each other.

Three, we'll find out if we can get him out on bail after his bail hearing. For something like this, though, especially considering the involvement of the delegates, it's unlikely. The muckity mucks will want someone to blame. The upside is he'll be in solitary holding unless at first.

We need to get him out of there before he's indicted, or get him into solitary if we can't do it in time, though. Security's not the worst in Takron-Galtos, but half the prison would line up for shot at a Legionnaire.

[audio]

[notwithoutafight]

They have no prints or DNA, but they're still going to indict Rocket? That's ridiculous! Since when are the Science Police operating on "guilty until proven innocent?"

[audio]

[legionnpcs]

They're trying to indict him, at least.

And it all started around when we lost our friends over a year ago.

Right after that, the UP government and many related governmental bodies started to backslide and it's gotten worse ever since. Hence the stupid laws preventing us from proper recruitment -- which is why we've needed so much help from you displacees, who can join the team on 'not-from-around-these-here-parts' technicality. That's not even getting into the people that showed up here before you, the team of Legionnaires from alternate universes that eventually got yanked back home to their own universes. The UP government had them unlawfully detained until they broke free and contacted us. That was why we already had the setup around Phelolu when you all arrived -- we needed to make sure no one else captured you or held you against your will somewhere.

[They don't have to join the team and even on the team, they're free to go anywhere in the UP or resign at any time.]

It all started with the original battle on Phelolu. Over half the Legion disappears and then corruption and misgovernment ramps up a notch or ten. Surely, it must just be the world's biggest coincidence, right?

[headinjuries]

That's totally stupid. Rocket would never.

[ Sure, he's gruff and he has a short fuse and if he's anything like the Rocket from Sam's reality, he'd break kneecaps over a fifty credit debt, but this? Nope. ]

Uh. Can we get a message in to him? Because I'll make sure his plants get watered, because he totally would shoot somebody in the butt for that.

[legionnpcs]

Agreed. Our furry friend is neither mean-spirited enough nor willing to work against his own self interest.

[They had his number. He's not exactly Mr. Morality, but he'd never cause this damage like this to his teammates -- especially when it'd risk the end of existence.]

We won't be able to contact him right away but he'll have a chance for a comm-call and whatnot. Alongside 'we're going to find a way to get you out of this,' I'll make sure the message gets to him that his guns aren't being touched and that his plants are being watered.

[headinjuries]

Cool, thanks.

[ Though maybe it ought to be more like "everyone, thank Sam for doing his part to make sure nobody's on the receiving end of Rocket-rage when he gets back." ]

Who's gonna be on the team?

[legionnpcs]

Still working on it. We're gathering leads first and I'll be assigning teams based on skillset.

[whyarewehere]

I may not like Rocket, but this isn't even his style. He's not exactly subtle.

[ Grif agrees. He also winces a little, remembering. ]

[headinjuries]

Yeah, if he wanted any of us dead, we'd know about it.

[deafleppard]

Here's a question for you.

What, exactly, is a Terellian spongebeast and how scared should I be of it?

[legionnpcs]

A Terellian sponge beast is a sponge-creature that's fifteen-feet across and dumber than the average rock.

"Not at all" is how scared you should be of it.

[deafleppard]

I don't know. We're in the really distant future, right?

You sure rocks haven't gotten smarter than they were in the 21st century?

[whyarewehere]

[ Grif points mutely at the screen in a gesture of "what she said". ]

[ringslinging]

Is this where I remind everyone that the Green Lantern Corps has a sentient planet in its ranks?

Video;

[ex_eraserhead411]

He's only just been taken, so there should be a period of questioning. If he's cooperative, we may have less time. Hopefully, he can find a way to prolong things on his own. I'd have to review the legal process to see where and when we can intervene on his behalf.

[He wasn't about to accept that a member of their organization was a madman hellbent on destroying a world-saving group but hey... rules.]

If he's allowed representation, then I volunteer. Naturally, we want exonerating evidence sooner rather than later.

video

[legionnpcs]

Knowing Rocket, "cooperative" probably isn't in the cards so that gives us some time.

Do you have any legal training? 'Cause trust me, our system of laws doesn't so much have loopholes as loop-de-loopholes. Due to it being multi-world, it's complicated.

video

[ex_eraserhead411]

Where I come from, heroes are professionals backed by numerous legal teams. Most heroes, at least.

I handle all legal proceedings regarding my actions, myself.

[With a dull look, Aizawa seemed to shrug with his eyes despite not moving an inch.]

I have a decade's worth of experience.

[legionnpcs]

Then you're hired! We have legal counsel working on this but they could maybe use your help. I'll let them know you're taking point.

[walkingballpit]

Why does the guy who's supposed to be the second smartest person here need personality inhibitors?

cw: mental health issues

[googledox]

[Just because Brainy is doing other things doesn't mean he's not watching the comms. Rather than using his omnicom, he simply films from one of the room console screens. In the background, Kid Quantum is visible in her time loop, but several devices are already floating around her, scanning and slowing the loop down. Brainy himself is focused on fixing two little burnt-out rectangular devices at his lab table with an omnitool. The places where they once were attached to his cheeks have rectangles of green skin that are paler than the rest of his face.]

[Brainy is prone to being tetchy when others talk about him on the best of days and this is definitely one of the worst. Perhaps if he were in a better mood -- and perhaps if his inhibitors were functional and regulating his mood properly -- he'd have allowed Tenzil to explain, but he impulsively jumps in.]

First smartest. If you're referring to that previous conversation with Jason where he referred to me as the second smartest individual he knows, he was clearly referring to another acquaintance of his not on board Legion World at the moment.

[His tone is very arch and even more defensive than usual. And rambling. If he sounds manic, it's because he is. Even the Legionnaires that have been here since the Time Trapper started capturing people have never seen him like this. Raw and fully exposed. This is his mind in its most natural (unnatural) form. If his friends had a way to cut off his feed for his own sake they probably would, but even in this state, it's not like anyone could stop him from putting something on the network. He's partially responsible for large chunks of its programming.]

Inhibit. Inhabit. I inhabit a position of monumental importance and, of course, overwhelming arrogance, many would say. I am singular, singularly essential, responsible for the continued existence of the Legion, despite what many would say, but the many have always said many things about me -- but now they say more, of course, because of the accident they deem me responsible for, as if I chose for catastrophe to befall over half the team -- but I digress, just like my teammates most likely have transgressed into other dimensions.

I am Coluan and my species is known for their high intelligence and they have a scale that ends at a paltry ten. The average Coluan is an eighth level intellect, Earth is a six -- the entirety, the sum total of every mind, every crackle of synaptic potential --

[He places one of the inhibitors on his face as he talks and then breathes out a shuddering breath and sloooows down. Even with only one operating, the difference is staggering. It's only with his inhibitors functioning that he's able to truly understand what he's like when they're not functioning -- and that's why he suddenly looks very embarrassed. He's less wild-eyed and his cadence is much different now, a little stilted but more controlled. Slower and more organized. He's not verbally tripping all over himself.]

My...apologies. I find clarity of thought and speech difficult in that state. To answer your question more...directly [he says the word with slight tension in his voice] due to a familial genetic mutation, I was born a level twelve on the Coluan intelligence scale, capable of multiple simultaneous thought tracks. A few years back, a sentient space anomaly increased my intelligence even further still.

[One of the probes that has been fixing Kid Quantum's time loop floats over and he programs something into it with one hand, while his other hand continues to work on the other inhibitor with his omnitool without him even needing to look at his work.]

The result of this was that my already heightened intelligence exceeded its ability to self-regulate. Without my inhibitors, I have difficulty focusing my tracks of consciousness properly, and suffer from several deleterious mental and psychological effects due to the resulting defects in my cognitive processing.

[He looks even more sheepish.]

Due to my unique neurobiological makeup, the situation requires a customized solution, as standard psychoactive medications are ineffective to manage my condition. My inhibitors directly manipulate my neurochemical processes through technological means rather using a pharmacological mechanism of action.

Re: cw: mental health issues

[walkingballpit]

[ That's the kind of attitude he expects to come hand in hand with the assertion of being the smartest or second smartest, like anyone cares. There's that massive dose of ego, whether it be crazy/smart, arrogant/smart, or oblivious/smart.

Admitting to arrogance helps Robbie's opinion of Brainiac, despite it being vague. Other people say. What other people say can't be discarded. Especially when there are disasters involved, but Robbie feels for him. If he's been blamed for what happened to the Legion - well. That's too complicated a thing for someone as newly arrived as Robbie is.

He'd like to offer a friendly ear - he should. This is, after all, the guy he wants to suck up to, and he can logically see where he should have advice. It's not easy to find common ground when he's basically been called an intellectual ant, though.

Well, this ant might be sharing 50% of Brainy's mental capacity with several billion other intellectual insects, but he's heard enough to identify Brainy au natural as an awful person - even if he's smart and a hero and saving that Legionnaire.

The inhibitor brings on such a noticeable change in manner and tone that Robbie's more, not less, put off. His experience with personality controls features the use of nanite robots to deliver massive shocks in response to unwanted behavior. This is less extreme, but it's also less voluntary if it rearranges brain chemistry the second it touches skin. Maybe the guy's a dick, but forcing another personality on someone because it's convenient or because they've got skills you want to take advantage of - not using drugs and shocks doesn't make it right. Robbie's hands clench and unclench, and he rubs his thumbs against his fingers to keep them from fisting again.

When he's finally able to get a word in edgewise, Robbie doesn't know what he wants to say. That he pities Brainy is plain from the damp look in his downcast eyes and the constant, uncomfortable stretching and shifting in his seat. ]

Sorry. I didn't mean to pry.

[ Even colossal dicks deserve the privacy of their own heads. ]

I only wanted to make sure you were safe.

[ At the root, his question really was based on that. Why was someone supposedly so smart being limited? He wants to believe the inability to self regulate story, but it doesn't gel with his own experiences. Originally, he'd worried that this was a Norman Osborn situation, and someone was trying to keep a brilliant psychopath on a leash.

He's dismissed that. Brainiac is telling the truth, or this is a punishment. Robbie's too personally biased to make the call. ]

[googledox]

[Wondering if he's safe to deal with. It's valid. Plenty of people think Brainy isn't. Plenty of people blame him for the loss of much of the Legion, rue that they ever trusted him or thought he was a hero in the first place. He's a Brainiac, after all, and everyone knows you can't trust a Brainiac.]

[He hides that the question bothers him -- or at least tries to. The device he'd been programming goes back to continue working on Kid Q and he focuses on fixing his other inhibitor.]

It's an understandable concern. But I've never caused harm to anyone in my disordered state, nor have I purposefully caused harm to anyone while my inhibitors are operational. It's akin to a human suffering from manic-depressive illness or schizophrenia. I've worked through missions with my inhibitors inoperational before, but it's simply...unpleasant. I prefer to keep my mind in the state it was before my intelligence was advanced to the point of dysfunction.

Regardless of how erratic my thinking or behavior is or not, my greatest priority is aiding the team and protecting the UP public, and this remains the same regardless of the state my mind is in.

[whyarewehere]

[ Grif has exactly one way to respond to a friend having a serious moment on a public channel. ]

Twelfth level intellect? I thought they were just talking about where you rank on the 1-10 scale of being a goddamn nerd.

[ He's got you, bro. ]

[walkingballpit]

I dropped some tofurkey when I saw that. Should I leave it there in case you want to kick something else when it's down, or are you done here?

[ Regardless of the reason why, Brainiac is obviously dealing with some crap, and Robbie thinks Grif is piling more on because he, too, blames Brainiac. He's a little peeved to get a live feed of an example. ]

Besides, some of my best friends are twelfth level nerds.