Tinker, Tailor, Hero, Spy [Modplot/Network IC Post] [Part 2] [Set after the ambush ends]

[legionnpcs]

[Things are not good -- and that's the understatement of the century. Just about everyone got walloped and the native Legionnaires were at the epicenter of that collective wumping, targeted first by the Fatal Five in the hopes that with them out of the way the rookies would be easy to pick off.]

[Thankfully, the Fatal Five were wrong. The rookies took their lumps but they held their ground.]

Matter-Eater Lad here.

[His glasses only partly hide the massive shiner he's got, and he's wearing a neck brace. Hooray. Fortunately, those are much less bulky in the glorious robot future.]

Alright, ladies and gents and variations thereupon, I think it goes without saying that what just happened was the pits. Right now, half of us more experienced Legionnaires are in Medbay and Kid Q is still trapped in a time loop, even if we've managed to relocate her to Legion World. Brainiac thinks he can fix it but he's still a mess because his personality inhibitors got blown and he has to fix those first before he can even hope to think straight again.

Everyone's respective boo boos aren't the only thing we have to worry about though. The Fatal Five knowing all our weaknesses, and some of what they said, suggested there's a mole on Legion World passing them private medical scans and tactical data. Since the Science Police had jurisdiction, they've already arrested a suspect.

[He tilts his omnicom and they can see that the Science Police are in the background, arguing viciously with Timber Wolf, Officer Erin, and Umbra, and trying to drag away a handcuffed Rocket, who's wasting no time in arguing with them, too.]

["Hey! Hey, watch the sui--what do you mean, hand over my gun? That's my gun! I mean, I got more, but it's my gun! I told you, I ain't a spy! Or a mole, or whatever stupid word you wanna use! I didn't do it!" A pause. "Do I look like a sp--yes, I know spies don't look like spies, that's whole point, but you know what I mean!"]

[Back on Tenzil's face again.]

It's totally bogus. The only evidence against Rocket they have is all digital sign-ins and video, which is so easy to doctor in this time period that a Terellian spongebeast could do it. No physical evidence or witnesses. No prints or DNA at the console he was supposedly accessing the data from. But they're not listening to us.

[Rocket has not stopped arguing in the background. "You're all assholes. Complete friggin' assholes. Have I told you that? 'Cause I feel like I should. Shouldn't you be out policing science, instead of arresting people who didn't do anything?"]

[Tenzil lowers his voice.] Which means we're gonna have to take a few things into our own hands.

[The last thing they hear from Rocket as he's dragged off is: "--and somebody remember to go water the plants while I'm dealing with this shit! I come back and they're all dead, somebody's gonna get their ass shot, then bit by a flytrap!"]

[Tenzil goes into the Legion Leader's office for more privacy.]

The chances of any of you rookies wanting to take down the entire Legion, when it means Chronoblivion would make the multiverse go kaput, are slim. We think Rocket's innocent -- and if he's not, there needs be evidence that's a whole lot more reliable before charges are brought.

Kid Q's out of the loop -- stuck in the loop as it were -- so as Deputy Leader, I'm taking charge. While the rest of us are licking our wounds, I'm organizing a team from the Legionnaires that are still standing to investigate. It'll be a private affair. No reason the Science Police need to worry their pretty little heads over any possible investigations that might be running side-by-side with their own, right?

Some good news, by the by: other than 4 Science Police officers that went down in the first blast, we had no other fatal casualties. All the delegates survived, all but the 4 Scicops made it, there were no fatalities in the crowd, and even with taking our lumps we didn't lose any teammates. The Fatal Five had everything they needed to turn the attack into a massacre that could've destroyed two governments, and taken out the entire team. You did good.

Oh, and since we have some new people with absolutely impeccable timing, welcome to the Legion. Don't mind our dust. Or the multitudinous catastrophic injuries. If you have any general questions that aren't just "Why is absolutely everyone injured?" feel free to ask.

Comments

[googledox]

[Brainy actually grins at Robbie saying he thought he was the only one with a history of fighting nuns, but that's because, well. Superheroing. It's ridiculous in any century.]

The team doesn't only fight in remote locations, and admittedly, the most recent spate of missions took place on populated planets. But quite a few missions take place in the vacuum of space or in the hideouts of our enemies, which are usually far from civilization.

[wryly] The UP member worlds have so much worldwide security surveillance that the skull-shaped volcanic lairs of old will no longer do. Not when they can be spotted by high-resolution satellite imaging.

[It's harder for villains to hide out on civilized worlds. (Other than Rimbor, anyway, but it's called the 'crime planet' for a reason.)]

[walkingballpit]

[ Ah, the Sisters of Sin. They were some of his favorite bruises. Oh wait, no they weren't. They were creepy as hell, but they remain one of his best stories. ]

I think... I'd prefer to get sent to the unpopulated ones. I won't chicken out on any assignment, but - if there's a Team Blue and Team Gold situation, or whatever you call them, ... yeah.

[ But he can chuckle and shake his head at that. ]

Back home, my team's taken over one of those for our HQ. Technically not shaped like a skull, but Mount Wundagore had an official genocide planning room when we moved in. It's cozy.

[googledox]

I'll make a note with Kid Quantum. You may not always have a choice, but if there is one, and the situation makes logistical sense, she'll try to adhere to your preferences.

[A brief pause.]

I've always prefered missions and postings that have nothing to do with the public myself.

[walkingballpit]

Thanks, Brainiac. I owe you one.

[ There's no joking behind it. Just have a nice, soft-spoken bit of earnesty. Robbie doesn't offer much of that. ]

Man, I feel kind of bad calling you Brainiac all the time. I usually hold that in reserve for smug inventors named Reed and Stark. For sarcastic purposes only. They'll tell you to your face how they're such geniuses and ... huh.

[ Oh, that comparison snuck up on him, but he doesn't think it fits. ]

You're less of a nasshead about it. Did I get that right?

[googledox]

[Brainy's mouth tweaks in a slight smile at Robbie's cursing.]

Affirmative. Although I can't say that I'm any less prone to simply stating the facts in regards to my intellect.

[To be fair, he at least understands there's more to life than smarts. Like actually having a sense of a humor about yourself, something it took him a lifetime to develop.]

[His expression grows a little more unsure as he reflects on what Robbie said about calling others Brainiac. It's more confusion than anything else.]

However, I'm unsure why "Brainiac" would be a general reference to someone of intellect, but the cultural connotations are likely very different in your universe. In this universe, it might be considered by some to be an insult.

["Brainiac" isn't something you call a random smart person, not unless you're trying to pick a fight.]

It's a specific inherited title carried by my family line, used to denote our unusual twelfth level intellect and our...lineage. [That's the most polite word he can find for it.] I am the fifth Brainiac in my family line, albeit the first to use it as a heroic appellation.

If you find it awkward, my real name is Querl Dox. Although my friends prefer the nickname "Brainy."

["Brainy" is far warmer and he definitely doesn't hate it, even if he did once.]

[walkingballpit]

[ A few moments of silence. Robbie's not dumb, and he knows enough mutants to know that when you start talking about ... lineage. ]

It - it means you're smart. Too smart. I never took Greek or Latin, but I think -iac is a suffix that means taking it too extremes. Hypochondriac, maniac, hemophiliac. I think kids made it up to make fun of the smart guy in the room. Maybe I'm wrong. But - yeah, it's kind of an insult. That's why I don't like using it.

[ Robbie shifts uncomfortably, carding his hands through his hair. He feels guilty as hell, somehow, as if he's making it worse.

It might be considered an insult.

It's reserved for his bloodline.

And the public doesn't like Brainiac, who's the first to try the heroic thing.

Robbie doesn't know if he should use the name, help Brainiac reclaim it the way he did Speedball, or step around it with Brainy. ]

I'd say Brainy's a Smurf and you're the wrong color, but you wouldn't get it. I'll call you what you want, Querl Dox.

[ For now, he'll stick with official, although Rob's unsure if it's one name or two and, if it's two, is one a surname? ]

I know how hard you got to work to get the right one to stick.

[googledox]

[Robbie actually asks and it's...new. His friends decided his nickname for him, and he hated it at first. It was the the fondness in their voices as they said it that eventually sold it, as they came to care about him more and more. "Brainy" is the name the people he love gave him, ripped off and made into something separate from the title he's been burdened with since birth.]

[They still never asked if he wanted to be called "Brainy," though. No one ever asks what he wants to be called.]

[For a moment, he actually looks slightly overwhelmed by someone thinking to ask his preference. And then pleased in a way he tries to hide.]

Brainiac or Brainiac 5 is acceptable, but...Querl or Brainy are preferred. Equally.

[He does like them both better than Brainiac and he's fine with either.]

[walkingballpit]

[ Robbie teases people with nicknames like Buckethead and Supertights, once a solid rapport is established, but that's a different situation. He wouldn't feel comfortable with someone's codename being Idiot or Jerkface, and, once he thought about it, Brainiac didn't sit well either.

Brainy could be okay, but Robbie was hung up on Querl not knowing who the Smurfs were. The fact that it's obviously a pet name for Brainiac is now a negative. ]

Okay. So it's Querl on Legionworld and whenever off-duty applies, and Brainy when we're being all official and codename-y. Sidebar: I am really, hilariously bad at using codenames when a teammate's life is in danger, so you try not to be in peril where I can see unless you're down with everybody knowing your real name.

Or, you know, where I can't see. Because I'll find out and lecture you later.

[googledox]

Secret identities were used by superheroes in Earth's past, and I'm aware they're common in other universes with superheroes, but Legion standard practice is for the public to have access to our true identities. We've found that the transparency helps inspire trust in the public.

Even if that weren't the case, I've always been a public figure. You needn't worry about anyone knowing my real name.

[walkingballpit]

I don't know how I feel about that.

[ Actually, he thinks it's a flat-out terrible idea, but it's not his call what the Legion decided to do with their own names. ]

Maybe the public are better than their television choices, now, but I doubt it.

[ After all, look at what he's already found out about how the public perceives Brainy. ]

Things that happen in one life should only follow you into the other if you bring them.

[googledox]

[That seems to hit a nerve, but not one that causes anger or hurt. Just thoughtfulness. For someone who was denied even a very basic right to privacy until he was eleven years old, the idea of keeping things restrained to just one side of his life is strange to him. The cameras that are so often trained on him now are actually less intrusive than the constant surveillance he was under as a child. At least at the end of the day he can come back to Legion World and the privacy of his lab, among friends.]

[There are some concepts that are alien to him, and it has nothing to do with his species. The idea of having some kind of dual life, where one half of it is private and separate from the other is almost impossible for him to imagine.]

[So far, the only private life he's ever had, hidden away from even the rest of the team, was the little bubble of reality he and Lyle had created with their relationship.]

Some members of the team have come from...unusual circumstances. For some of us, we only have the one life. Fortunately, it's generally a highly rewarding one.

[A brief pause.]

Generally.

[He'd be lying if he said it's always rewarding. The public hating your guts cuts into that a little bit, even though he takes a great deal of satisfaction in supporting his teammates.]

[walkingballpit]

[ Robbie notices that Querl's gotten less forthcoming and less - immediate. It's the first time that he could tell the guy was thinking.

He's paranoid enough to wonder if he's slipped, somewhere, or if one of his friends has told them about him. He thinks this about him, somehow. A test. ]

I guess I come from... unusual circumstances. It sounds like a 90s band. 1990s. I keep forgetting what century I'm in.

[ He stops to clear his throat. ]

Yeah, I used to have two identities. Now I've got one. It's awesome! Everybody knows your name. It's... what's the word. Liberating.