thelegion | GAME OF THRONE [mod event]

[When Dipper comes on screen he's in the supernatural research room that's attached to the Labs, where various Legionnaires have holed up over time to study the Book of Magic. Ray and Valeria are in there with him, working on the book behind them.]

This is so exciting! Ohmygosh.

Okay, so for anyone that's new, a while ago we had to get the spear of Destiny - like that spear of Destiny, that poked Yahweh-know-who? - to re-imprison the Spectre. Because we were the ones that let him out in the first place to stop this giant planet-eating guy with a stupid hat called Galactus.

Anyway, that's all taken care of, the Spectre's back in his box, but when we went to find the spear we met this guy guarding it that called himself The Wizard - like the Wizard, like he was the most important one or something? - and alongside telling us where the spear was, he gave us this magic book. He promised that if we could unlock its knowledge we might be able to find something to use against Chronoblivion.

We did a lot of research and found out it was legit but it's all wrapped up in codes and spells and riddles. We managed to unlock it enough that Ray was able to use its power to banish Eclipso to the room with a moose dimension, a dimension that's just...a room with a moose. (I don't get it, either). In that fight on Apokolips.

[Dipper rolls his hands around each other to show he's trying to fast forward.]

Anyway, a bunch of us have been working on it for a while and it turns out Gohan decoded some important encryptions before he got zapped home and he never got to tell the rest of us! I was going through his old notes to see if we missed anything and we were able to use it to figure out how to unlock the last spells guarding it. We're unlocking the last of it right now!

Brainiac got help from Sorcerer's World to use those magic artifacts we got from that marriage planet and combined it with technology to shield the research room, so nobody has to worry about any eff --

[Something crackles behind him, where Valeria and Ray are working. Some of Ray's equipment starts making alarming ticking noises. Ray says, "Definitely a sharp uptick in PKE valences...we may want to duck."]

[Dipper turns, yelps, and ducks just in time to avoid magical energy that zaps through the room like lightning. A more subtle wave of magical energy sweeps past after the initial zaps, spreading out all through Legion World. Val, Ray, and Dipper are just fine but frogs start appearing and raining from the ceiling in their research room, and the book floats off the table, completely wrapped up in ethereal glowing golden chains. Other Legionnaires throughout Legion World might also find strange magical effects spreading out all over.]

Uhhh.

Whuh oh.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Blushing? Blushing was a good sign, right? Even if it was just on audio and there was a big fat nope on the table.]

Well, what game do YOU want to play then?

[ Like he knows any, ha. ]

The game where I stay here with all my clothes on and wait this out until I'm back to normal and everything fits again and I don't need chick underwear.

Sooo, a super boring game with no imagination where you don't have fun?

Hey, I have a ton of imagination. I'm imagining I don't have boobs right now, so my imagination is tied up.

Take advantage of them while you have them! I wouldn't be leaving my room for a month if I was you. Shit, I'd probably get carpal tunnel.

[ Oh. My. God. ] Nothing like that is happening! I'm just sitting in my quarters! Don't go giving everyone the wrong idea!

Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure. Nudge nudge, wink wink.

Don't put your sex addiction on the rest of us, bro.

[ The video swap was deliberate. Robbie a fully dressed with both hands visible. ]

And wink wink, nudge nudge was about an idiot who thought everything was innuendo, you know.

Everything can be an innuendo with enough imagination.

[Tucker raised his hands, too. Look. He was behaving.]

[ That doesn't even merit a golf clap. ]

Is this going to turn that Friends bit where Joey tries to make lima beans sound dirty?

Or, instead of hitting on someone who's obviously not interested, you can come join me in a room full of pussy.

[Special phrasing just for you.]

[Wash, you know how to speak his language.]

Fuck to the yes!

[Pause.]

There's strings attached to this, isn't there?

[Guess who hasn't been able to keep up on what everyone is going through right now.]

Not this time.

[And he sends Tucker coordinates to the lounge full of cats, and he waits.]

Thanks for the hookup, Wash! This is going to be great!

[You're lucky that he actually likes cats, Wash. A lot.]

[Well, he's going to show up here eventually. It's not like Wash has left.]

[The call of pussy is always enough to attract Tucker, even if it strangely meant that Wash was somehow surrounded by all of it. Maybe if he had thought about it a little more critically, he could have seen the flaws of logic in this, could have smelled the wrongness of everything. Was Wash secretly a ladies man?

Maybe if he had listened to the meowing through the door and not thought it was girls trying to be sexy for him as a joke, he might have gone back to what he was doing: hitting on poor people who weren't interested.

Instead, he knocked. Because he was that nice at least. Give the girls time to get into sexy positions with sexy lingerie. Why would Wash be at a lingerie party? Who knoooows. He wasn't exactly trying to pick this puzzle apart.]

[He's knocking. Why is he k-]

[...he really thinks this is a room full of sexy women, doesn't he.]

[Wash stifles a laugh long enough to call to the door.]

Come in.

[This is going to be beautiful.]

[It WAS going to be beautiful, beautiful women in beautiful nothing and all so happy to see him. He opened the door, all smiles, all eager eyes, arms wide open.]

The party can begin! Sorry to keep you waiting with this boring buzzk--

[But the words died in his throat because there weren't frisky little women; there were frisky little...felines. Actually meowing cats. Everywhere. Fucking everywhere.

And while Tucker liked cats, this...this was just wrong. Betrayed eyes snapped to Wash. Cold, man. Cold.]

Dude, seriously? Pussies? You really did this to me?

[There were a few things he could say here - about words having multiple meanings, or about Tucker thinking with his dick instead of looking for context...the list goes on. But Wash called him here for a very specific reason, and a discussion on semantics isn't it.]

Tucker. Have a seat.

[Said in the bright, sharp, dangerous tone Wash uses when someone is in Trouble.]

Oh, shit.

[He knew that tone. He knew that tone so well, had heard it a million times over after bad obstacle courses, after late night drunk streaking contests, after bad hand-to-hand training.. Cautiously, he shooed a couple cats out of a seat, wiped off the fur, and sat down.]

Is this a lecture? This sounds like it's going to be a lecture.

[The cats get right back up on the seat and immediately stage a takeover of Tucker's lap. Just because there's a person sitting in it doesn't make it any less their spot.]

Oh good, you can pick up on tone. I was worried.

[The bright tone drops, and now we're Serious.]

What the hell was that conversation with Robbie?

[He didn't even think about it; his hand just started petting the cats in his lap. He liked the nuzzle into his hand, the rumble of purrs that they gave him; it wass calming.

He had a feeling he was going to need it.]

Uh, it was the same conversation that I have with everyone. [Which wasn't exactly true and was at the same time: it was the same conversation he had with anyone he deemed hot or he could be attracted to.] What's wrong?

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