(no subject)

[actionishisreward]

[There is a nerdy looking teenager on the Omnicomm, clad in a slightly more advanced version of the Spider-Man suit than many who knew any of his counterparts would be familiar with.]

..so...um..Hi? Sorry, Never really had to introduce myself to a 31st-century superhero team. I guess I should just jump right in? I'm Peter. Peter Parker. And it case It wasn't obvious, I'm also Spider-Man. Powers are being able to do whatever a spider can. Well, mostly. The webbing isn't biological, it's actually a shear-thinning adhesive I made which is...not really something I need to talk about right now.

I've been doing this for a while, already, although not really anywhere near this kind of scale. Mostly just normal crime. Biggest thing I've ever had to deal with by myself was fighting a guy with wings on the outside of a cargo plane. That was flying. And also invisible. Which was kind of completely terrifying, but not thing eating everything that will ever exist terrifying.

Also, I should add one more thing just so people don't think I'm talking to myself like a crazy person. Or crazier person, anyways. Apparently, she thinks she can patch into the omnicomm to take it from here, so I'll let her do that.

Hello there. My name is Karen. I'm an AI developed by Tony Stark to assist Peter in his work as Spider-Man and help him control the various functions of his suit. It's nice to meet you.

Anyways, that's me, I guess. What about you guys? Who am I teaming up with?

Comments

[video]

[smarterthandad]

...You're a teenager.

[Sigh. Multiple universe problems.]

I don't suppose you know what your universe's designation is?

[Asks the three year old like this is normal.]

Re: [video]

[actionishisreward]

That's a thing? I mean, I guess it would be a thing, given the ability to detect multiple universes. Not really sure how well it'd work considering there's nothing stopping each separate universe from developing their own system.

Although, if you could detect other universes, you might be able to backtrack to the original universe and then work your way outward from there aaand you're three years old, aren't you?

[video]

[smarterthandad]

I'll take that as a "no."

[She taps at something off-camera, presumably entering data.]

The system's in general use among transuniversal travelers in our section of the omniverse. Everyone smart enough to start dimension-hopping realizes it's arbitrary and no one bothers to look for the "original" universe, since the term's largely meaningless. I'm from Earth-616.

[Yes, the Fantastic Four titles use the numbering system in-universe.]

Yes, I'm three. Valeria Richards.

[She says, as though he should recognize the name. Or the surname, at least.]

video

[iamresponding]

[He has not had a good few days, between the whole thing at Neutrino News and being strongarmed into seeing Dr. Ry'kerr and Dr. Gym'll and a tongue lashing from Kid Q.]

[So this? This is mana from heaven.]

[The man that shows up on screen starts laughing. It's not mean-spirited laughter, it's just the kind of laughter that happens when the universe is a funny place now and again.]

Sorry. Sorry.

So, one thing you're going to have to get used to is sometimes in all this you meet people from alternate versions of your own universe? Or from different times in the same universe.

Back home, I'm friends with my version of Spider-Man, except he's older than me. And you're, y'know, itsy bitsy.

[A pause.]

Hey, wait a second - Peter Parker? Your name's Peter Parker?

Re: video

[actionishisreward]

Yeah, my name's Peter Parker, and no, I'm not itsy-bitsy. [Great, he thinks, it's the Training Wheels Protocol all over again] Why?

[video]

[the_civilian]

...I 100% want to talk about your shear-thinning adhesive.

[You do not get to bring cool nerd toys to this party and not talk about them. Bad Peter!]

My name's Tadashi Hamada. I'm not a super hero back home, but apparently my little brother and all my friends are. Or will be. [sighs] Ugh, time travel verb tenses.

Anyway, I'm a robotics engineer and Karen? If it's cool with you, I'd love to talk coding sometime.

Re: [video]

[actionishisreward]

Well, I mean, if you really want to hear about it, sure. Again, it's shear thinning, and solidifies into a spider-silk-like substance on contact with air. Extremely high-tensile strength, and it'll adhere to anything with enough strength to more than carry my weight around while I'm swinging around New York. It's also highly conductive to the point where Mr. Stark was able to use it as part of a taser system when he upgraded my webshooters. It also dissolves after a couple of hours, so, y'know, no cleanup. I'm pretty pround of it, all things considered.

As for talking coding...that may not be such a good idea.

Mr. Stark is highly protective of his work. While there isn't anything technically stopping me from discussing my programming- [And there wasn't. Had that been a priority of Tony's when programming Karen, it likely wouldn't have been so easy for Ned and Peter to hack into the suits systems.] -it could be seen as a betrayal of trust. Mr. Stark does not trust easily.

No offense. I'm still surprised he trusts me.

[video]

[the_civilian]

That sounds pretty impressive, you should be proud. I don't know enough about chemistry to ask you about the details, but you might want to create a few batches here to make sure that they act like you expect them to. The science is...kind of weird here. It's entirely possible that the Time Trapper rebuilt us from the bottom up so that we can even function in this universe.

[Tadashi waves a hand -- specifically the hand with the power control gauntlet on the attached forearm.]

No reason to apologize, I'm not offended. I figured that might be the case, but that it couldn't hurt to ask. AI are one of the things in my wheelhouse.

video

[hallaifyouherd]

[ Have a tattooed elf peering at you through the omnicomm. She's got questions about the voice, but that can wait.

Introductions first. ]

Do you prefer Peter or Spider-Man?

Re: video

[actionishisreward]

I'm kinda cool with either, I guess? Spidey's fine too. I'm used to keeping everything separate, so it's not something I've had to think about much.

[hallaifyouherd]

That's not a bad plan. Keeping your personal life separate from the job.

But I suppose there's a lot on your plate, at the moment. Hardly the only consideration to be made.

[video]

[steelandtemper]

[Video...of a hologram, blue-white with lines of code scrolling over the skin and through the air. People here get kinda weird if Cortana pops her hologram up in the same room even though it's functionally identical to the omnicomms for her, so she just sends video of her hologram because why is everyone like this.]

Karen, huh?

[Humans shouldn't be allowed to name AIs. They just embarrass themselves.]

Mind if we run some benchmarking?

Re: [video]

[actionishisreward]

That would be acceptable.

[Initial scans would show that Karen isn't much more than a very sophisticated dumb AI, far below the capabilities of even Alpha's fragments. She has one job, and while she does it extremely well, she isn't capable of much else. Yet, anyways. She does incrementally better with each test Cortana throws her way, slowly learning and growing.]

[video]

[steelandtemper]

[It only takes a few seconds.]

Okay, got a baseline. The learning algorithms aren't bad, given the materials limitations.

[Which is about the highest possible praise anyone from the 21st century is gonna get from her for their technical achievements.]

Unless things get dire, Karen won't need to handle anything but your suit, but I like to know who I can recruit if the systems go offline.

[If Cortana actually had any manners, this would be the place where she remembered them.]

I'm Cortana.

[video]

[calibrates_big_guns]

[The next face to appear on Peter's comm is distinctly alien, with a metal exoskeleton covering features that seem vaguely avian. Old burns and fading scars cover the right side of his face.]

Garrus Vakarian. Or Archangel, if we're going by codenames.

Re: [video]

[actionishisreward]

Nice to meet you. If you don't mind I actually have a question?

So far, I'm seeing an elf, a supergenius three year old, some guy with bubbles coming out of him, a vaguely terrifying blue lady, and a couple of normal looking humans. You an alien, or are you from an alternate universe where man evolved from dinosaur?

[walkingballpit]

[ Robbie has a confused expression on his face. It's not that he's mystified, but the wide-eyed, half smile combination of surprised and tickled looks the same. ]

I'm sorry. I think I had an energy bubble in my ear.

[ He whacks the base of his palm against his temple, and energy balls do indeed materialize and bounce around. Sadly, none specifically from his ear. He's still working on that. ]

You said you're Peter. Parker. [ The delivery is staccato, but there's a definite "this is a question" rise at the end. ] Who is... also. Spider-Man.

And you are very smol.

[ This is worse than looking older than Captain America. ]

... look, so I can have some sort of baseline for the universal differences, do you have any plans to one day be a plucky photographer for the Daily Bugle, are you engaged, and - [ Robbie counts on his fingers, eying Peter dubiously. ] yeah, is the show Secret Hospital on TV where you're from? It's a soap.

[actionishisreward]

...I wasn't exactly planning on it, I'm fifteen, and I have no idea. It's not like I watch a lot of soap operas to begin with.

And why is are you so focused on how tall I am? I'm 5'8". That's not short, that's above average for 15.

Video

[araignee_du_soir]

[There is a long-suffering sigh from Widowmaker.]

If the fans start 'shipping' us because we both have spider motifs, I am going to consult the Judge on potential legal action. You do not even look half my age.

[unrecovered]

You say that like they need a reason.

[He's helping!]

Re: Video

[actionishisreward]

...the Legion has fans that write fanfic about us. [Because of course the tiny nerd knows about shipped.] That is definitely horrifying.

[unrecovered]

[That's a slight helmet tilt and a few seconds of silence. If Peter knows anything about reading armored expressions, he might recognize that as a searching look. On one hand, Spider-Man. On the other hand, wow is he young.]

How old are you?

[actionishisreward]

42.

[Because that's the proper answer to any number-related question, no matter what it is. The look Wash gets is very, very dry, especially now that Peter's own mask is back on, the eye pieces matching his expression. Because, really, it shouldn't be this hard to at least guess.]

15. Almost 16.

[headinjuries]

Wait, you're -

[ Stops. Blinks. Shakes his head. ]

Uh, sorry about that. I think you've probably gotten enough of the alternate universe stuff for today.

[ but oh my god you're like. Big Spidey. But not big. Miles-sized. So weird. ]

Sam Alexander, Nova.

[actionishisreward]

Yeah, I'm still trying to figure out where to begin with all that, so thanks.

Why Nova?