[text]

[turntex]

[After finally getting through all the "welcome to spacefuture" stuff and the Legionnaire oath shit, there's a huge ship full of amazing new things to see. So of course, the first thing Dave does is sit down with his omnicom and check out their little network. Kids these days with their internet and their mobile devices. Gosh.

A bit of fussing and he's even got his standard font set up. It almost feels like old times, pestering people online. Unfortunately, this means everyone else is faced with this wall of eyebleedy text.]

ok cool so i guess were playing superheroes now
im down with that i guess but theres a few things weve gotta cover first
number one im not wearing any spandex
i know its a fucking tragedy
depriving the universe of this hot ass clad in the tightest material possible
thats practically villainy in itself really
go ahead and arrest me for this heinous crime but im sticking to my guns here
gotta leave some stuff to the imagination yknow
besides ive got these godpajamas and theyre comfy as shit
youll have to pry these duds from my cold dead corpse
but hey they come with a cape and everything so i think im pretty set on the costume front
so moving on
number two is the superhero name thing
im actually cool with that part but see the difficult thing is picking the best option
there are just too many excellent possibilities how am i supposed to make a decision like this
minute man
clockblock
im think im leaning towards justin time for the potential hilarity but im open to opinions and/or other ideas
apparently chronoblivion is taken so thats a bummer i was totally gonna use that
anyway number three
i need yall to sound off or something
if im stuck forming the justice league with a whole new squad of weirdos then im gonna need to know what what im working with here
and if were gonna do introductions guess i should probably go first
im dave
sup

Comments

[ringslinging]

[ Text is for people who can type fast, Hal just runs with video because he...cannot, really. ]

You're about a thousand years too late for the Justice League.

[turntex]

[Dave sticks to his text because he's gotta keep up his air of mystery, and not because he's honestly kind of an awkward dude and this is his comfort zone. He certainly does type fast, though.]

are you shitting me
the justice league was real here and i missed it
forget the spandex this is the real tragedy of the day

[wherenoonegoes]

...why are you writing like that?

[turntex]

i have a horrible disease that paralyzes ny hands if i dont type in this exact combination of bold courier font and bright red text
and frankly i find it very insensitive that you would ask
its extremely offensive
im offended

[bachido]

Hello Dave, I'm Kubo! I like that color your words are in. How do you do that?

[Because that's the most important element of all this information to focus on.]

[turntex]

[That is absolutely the most important thing to focus on here. Dave can't even find it in himself to be a little shit about this, it's too pure.]

theres a little icon in the corner of the screen like a gear
you hit that and pick the font menu then you can pick shit like the color and style and all that
just mess around with that til you find something you like and bam
youre typing like a coolkid

Video;

[ex_eraserhead411]

The only real benefit to spandex is that it's form-fitting and it's tougher to get a hold on you when that's all you're wearing.

The downside is that it can tend to look excessive.

Anyway--Hello, Dave.

text

[turntex]

not that excessive isnt my middle name and all
dave "excessive" strider doesnt do anything halfway
bur yeah im definitely good on rhe spandex front
so who are you

[AUDIO]

[kingtyrantranger]

It's not spandex. It's space spandex.

Totally different.

[TEXT]

[turntex]

still more shrinkwrappage around my junk than i really want
thanks but ill pass

[audio]

[good_bamf_ugly]

Better off not sharing a name with Chronoblivion 'round these parts anyway. Rolls off the tongue like a sack of wet horse manure.

[text]

[turntex]

[holy shit]

is that really how you talk or are you just fucking with me

[text]

[whyarewehere]

hi dave i'm grif.
i think you might actually have a worse boner for the color red than my old boss, which is saying something. good work dude.

what is your superpower anyway? if i'm gonna help you with names i gotta know.

[ Because talking about powers is Grif's single number one favorite omnicom activity. ]

[text]

[turntex]

since all the time-themed puns apparently did nothing to clue you in
i fuck with time
anyway for the protectors of the universe yall seriously suck at following simple instructions
i ask for a roll call and only two of you actually gave me a name right away
and no one has supplied me with the deets about their own powers without me practically begging for it
salivating on the floor next to the dinner table in hopes of some scraps of actually useful info
cmon ill show you mine if you show me yours
wink wink

[text]

[kingtyrantranger]

What's wrong with red?

i must.......

[fantasmaniac]

Reaper here.

regret nothing

[turntex]

well thank fuck someone understands the concept of a roll call
i mean you still missed the "tell me your powers" part but with a name like reaper i can make an educated guess
probably something super edgy and dark right

[text]

[jonesiseverywhere]

I'm The Reaper. I know there's another guy called Reaper but I was here first and I'm WAY more awesome.

[text]

[turntex]

just a heads up but literally no one who calls themselves reaper is awesome
and sticking a the in front of it just ups your douche quotient by about a thousand

[the_civilian]

...I'm kind of tempted to tell you to go with 'Clockblock', which probably makes me a terrible person.

Hi, I'm Tadashi Hamada, or 'Sunfire'. I do fire generation and, theoretically, control. What's up is that I'm almost getting used to literally living in space.

[turntex]

holy shit someone here is actually capable of following instructions
fuckin miracles
and nah youre not terrible
part of me is extremely depressed that i cant use all of these options so you just call me whatever you want darlin
shitty puns are always welcome
bonus points if you come up with new ones in the heat of battle

text

[iamresponding]

[He's not good at texting. One of the hazards of somehow surviving to the 21st century without ever owning a cell phone. But he tries to match what other people do if he can, assuming that's what they're comfortable with. He knows there's a voice to text option that he uses sometimes but God knows how you turn the damn thing on. (Give him Kree tech instead, any day of the week.)]

name's rich rider. leave the obvious nickname jokes at the door. [That's Sam's shtick anyway, calling him 'Dick' when he's annoyed like it's his name.] superhero name's nova prime. the "prime's" because i have a mini-me that goes by just nova.

powers are gravimetric energy projection and not being surprised by any of this cosmic crap ever.

also it's not spandex it's durapreen and it's basically also like superhero pajamas. this is the future, they've used advanced technology to finally eliminate the wedgie and any need for the picard maneuver.

[Yes, he's a sci fi nerd. Enough to know the behind-the-scenes fandom injokes and crap.]

[turntex]

trust me i feel you
ive heard the dave strider dick rider line too many times to redirect that one at someone else
but thanks for actually following directions better than literally everyone else here
at least someone fuckin listens
still gonna pass on the spandex tho im good with my current pajamas

text

[captainbuzzkill]

How come you're using such an eye-blistering font color? It's like the text version of walking into a room and yelling everything you say at the top of your lungs.

[turntex]

because thats exactly what i do
its actually shocking you havent heard me already ive been screaming nonstop since waking up here
screeching into the void of space relaxes me