[text]

[turntex]

[After finally getting through all the "welcome to spacefuture" stuff and the Legionnaire oath shit, there's a huge ship full of amazing new things to see. So of course, the first thing Dave does is sit down with his omnicom and check out their little network. Kids these days with their internet and their mobile devices. Gosh.

A bit of fussing and he's even got his standard font set up. It almost feels like old times, pestering people online. Unfortunately, this means everyone else is faced with this wall of eyebleedy text.]

ok cool so i guess were playing superheroes now
im down with that i guess but theres a few things weve gotta cover first
number one im not wearing any spandex
i know its a fucking tragedy
depriving the universe of this hot ass clad in the tightest material possible
thats practically villainy in itself really
go ahead and arrest me for this heinous crime but im sticking to my guns here
gotta leave some stuff to the imagination yknow
besides ive got these godpajamas and theyre comfy as shit
youll have to pry these duds from my cold dead corpse
but hey they come with a cape and everything so i think im pretty set on the costume front
so moving on
number two is the superhero name thing
im actually cool with that part but see the difficult thing is picking the best option
there are just too many excellent possibilities how am i supposed to make a decision like this
minute man
clockblock
im think im leaning towards justin time for the potential hilarity but im open to opinions and/or other ideas
apparently chronoblivion is taken so thats a bummer i was totally gonna use that
anyway number three
i need yall to sound off or something
if im stuck forming the justice league with a whole new squad of weirdos then im gonna need to know what what im working with here
and if were gonna do introductions guess i should probably go first
im dave
sup

Comments

[ringslinging]

[ Text is for people who can type fast, Hal just runs with video because he...cannot, really. ]

You're about a thousand years too late for the Justice League.

[turntex]

[Dave sticks to his text because he's gotta keep up his air of mystery, and not because he's honestly kind of an awkward dude and this is his comfort zone. He certainly does type fast, though.]

are you shitting me
the justice league was real here and i missed it
forget the spandex this is the real tragedy of the day

[ringslinging]

Definitely not shitting you. But you can always head down to New Metropolis for a day and see for yourself. The museum's pretty nice, even counting the unneeded monument to Gardner's ego.

[turntex]

were both talking about the same justice league right like fucking superman wonder woman batman and shit
jesus christ
you do realize youre telling me batman was real here
an actual person who decided that the best way to deal with his personal traumas was to dress up like a bat and punch bad guys
omg
amazing

[wherenoonegoes]

...why are you writing like that?

[turntex]

i have a horrible disease that paralyzes ny hands if i dont type in this exact combination of bold courier font and bright red text
and frankly i find it very insensitive that you would ask
its extremely offensive
im offended

[wherenoonegoes]

Uh-huh. I've been giving people sarcastic answers since the 11th century pal. You're going to have to try harder if you want me to believe that.

[turntex]

ok fine the reason is very simple
its because fuck you
fuck you is the reason why
so anyway the 11th century huh
what was that like

[bachido]

Hello Dave, I'm Kubo! I like that color your words are in. How do you do that?

[Because that's the most important element of all this information to focus on.]

[turntex]

[That is absolutely the most important thing to focus on here. Dave can't even find it in himself to be a little shit about this, it's too pure.]

theres a little icon in the corner of the screen like a gear
you hit that and pick the font menu then you can pick shit like the color and style and all that
just mess around with that til you find something you like and bam
youre typing like a coolkid

[ringslinging]

Hey, it's nice to have someone with really weird coping mechanisms around. He makes the rest of us look good.

[ Hal's coping mechanisms are pretty awful too, but at least there's no bat costume. ]

[turntex]

true enough
so anyway i am still waiting for an introduction
cmon be polite
who are you and what kind of crazy shit can you do

[ringslinging]

Hal Jordan, or Green Lantern. If you're familiar with the Justice League, you might already know.

[ He is totally on the A-list with Bats, we just don't talk about that failure of a movie - ]

[turntex]

are you not the one who just said the justice league is about a thousand years out of date
are you messing with me or is this a time shenanigans thing
id at least understand a time shenanigans thing

[bachido]

I don't know what a gear is sorry! I didn't have any machines like this back where I'm from.

[Thank goodness for translation tech, and voice recognition software.]

But it's neat that they can do that to words and I'll keep at it until I figure it out anyway it's nice to meet you! If I think of any funny time names I'll let you know. How do your time powers work?

[turntex]

little circle with spokes on it
but dont stress youll get it

[Kid, you're too sincere and innocent to be real. It's like, heartwarming.]

word thanks bro
and the painful truth is that im not sure anymore
back home i was hopping all over the timestream like nobodys business
this business was straight up orphaned it just didnt belong to anyone
employees scrambling to fix up their resumes cause that company went under unexpectedly and they got families to feed
but see this universe wrecked my shit
like its still working but not the same and i dunno the limits yet
i can do some little jumps forwards and backwards by a few seconds and halt time briefly but its way weaker than what im used to
like youve been riding a bike for years and go to hop on a half pipe only to find someone stuck training wheels on
know what i mean

[Though the kid doesn't seem to recognize shit like mobile phones so maybe he won't. What year is this kid from??]

[ringslinging]

Time shenanigans. I'm a thousand years out of date too.

[turntex]

that sucks
sorry dude

[bachido]

I see it now! Thanks Dave.

[Kubo's delighted to have met such a nice helpful guy! Even if he only understands about half the words Dave uses.]

I know some of what you mean. I don't know what a half pipe is. Or a lot of those other things you said. But I still think I know what you mean, because there's something about my paper magic here that's not as strong as it was back home. I can't use it to fly and I don't think I can control as many pieces as before. I haven't tried to make another boat that can carry people but I probably should. Just to see for certain if I can't.

Where are you practicing? Have you found the uh the hab yet? Where everybody's lands are? It's a pretty good place for practicing.

Video;

[ex_eraserhead411]

The only real benefit to spandex is that it's form-fitting and it's tougher to get a hold on you when that's all you're wearing.

The downside is that it can tend to look excessive.

Anyway--Hello, Dave.

[turntex]

havent checked it out yet
dont really need a ton of space to mess with the fabric of time and all but ill check it out later
i mean theres probably some cool shit there if its all from other peoples worlds
so how does paper magic work
is it just like really crazy origami or what

text

[turntex]

not that excessive isnt my middle name and all
dave "excessive" strider doesnt do anything halfway
bur yeah im definitely good on rhe spandex front
so who are you

[bachido]

Time is a fabric?

Yeah exactly like that. I use it to tell my stories. My magic was getting stronger but, well, now I'm here. That's all right, though. What does your world look like? I'll keep an eye out for it.

[turntex]

honestly time is just a clusterfuck
theres one alpha timeline that counts as the "real" thing but you gotta be careful to create stable loops when messing with time or you create offshoot timelines
and offshoots are always doomed
so yeah avoid that shit at all costs

[He's had to deal with his own corpses before and that's always disturbing, so yeah. Very careful about this shit.]

i think they made my little slice of home look like the meteor
so its pretty desolate and godawful but in a kinda homey way i guess
if you find a lot of metal and weird machines and gaudy rugs and flowers everywhere youre probably there
so
stories huh

[wherenoonegoes]

Well, I'm a Viking from an island somewhere far, far north of what a place apparently called Scotland, so damp, cold weather and terrible food. This is somewhat offset by the fact that we have dragons.