[video] With Great Power Comes Great Irresponsibility

[whyarewehere]

[ Grif is in high spirits today. He seems to actually be in one of the training rooms for once, which makes that a lot weirder. ]

Hey guys. There are a bunch of weirdos running around and it's been a while since we talked about powers. So guess what we're going to do today?

[ 'We' because he expects participation, dammit! ]

And because I'm feeling generous, I'll start. Guess who learned a new thing?

[ He points at himself with both thumbs and backs up, revealing a line of targets. He steps back, lines up his shoulder with them, and winds up his arm like a softball pitcher. He doesn't stop. Grif's arm blurs as he speeds up, and finally the force of the moving air is enough to tip over the nearest target. But only the nearest one. He stops, gestures at it with definite pride, and continues. ]

So let's talk about your powers because we already know mine are pretty awesome.

[ Of course they are, Grif. ]

Has anybody else figured out anything cool? And if you're new: I'm Grif and this is basically my job around here. Tell me what you got, because I'm still way disappointed about the lack of eye lasers we got going on on this team. I could read profiles, but who has time for that crap?

If I know you already... I don't know. Injury status report? What did you have for lunch? I'm just bored, okay?

((( This is a free for all mingle post! Grif will reply to everyone who responds, but if you want to have a character jump into a conversation with anybody you are absolutely welcome and, in fact, encouraged. Feel free to have characters ignore the point, talk about other things, etc etc. Threads are assumed to be public unless you mark them otherwise. This is set after the Ambush of TTHS but the Investigation is still ongoing. )))

Comments

[whyarewehere]

Super speed is still the best power.

[ He has to lay down the law here. ]

But that's pretty good, I'll give you that.

[bleventeen]

What??!! How can you say that? Plenty of things already have super speed! Like cheetahs, or... Sharks, probably. The only things with a giant hamster ball are me and people with more than $500!!

[ Which is an impossible amount of money that no one has, obviously. ]

I'll prove it's a better power! I'LL SEE YOU IN COURT, GRIF!

[whyarewehere]

...What if I had more than five-hundred dollars?

[ He could do that. Probably. He's not sure how space dollars match up with real dollars. Or how much a dollar's worth in the world the Pines twins are from. Or if he could get away with borrowing some of it from people without asking.

He's also just really curious about how that fits into this picture Mabel's painting here. ]

[bleventeen]

I don't know... you don't look like you have that much money.

[ Her impression of rich people is really strange thanks to Gravity Falls. ]

Plus, it was only for sale back home. You probably can't even buy one here!

[ She hopes. She's slightly worried about it now though. ]

[whyarewehere]

You guys just have giant hamster balls that people buy? What do they even do with them?

[ He lets the remark about not looking like a rich person slide. He's not a rich person, he's not offended. ]

[bleventeen]

Probably lots of things! Making real hamsters jealous, running through mud puddles with no worries, maybe even rolling it off a tall building and bouncing through the streets!

[ She's definitely going to have to try that last one out at some point. ]

I only got one ONE TIME back there, and that was in my Gruncle Stan's mind, so it didn't last forever. We did fight an evil dumb dumb triangle guy with it though.

[whyarewehere]

[ Grif remembers something about a triangle from Dipper's post-yellow-lantern wall scrawling. He'd had the selfawareness to realize it would be kind of wrong to ask about that while the kid was suffering from very recent trauma, though. This gives him a chance. ]

What was the deal with the triangle guy, anyway? Dipper's kinda mentioned him, but...

[bleventeen]

Ugh, he was the worst! He was from some other dimension, and he wanted to get into ours, so he kept doing all these things like stealing Dipper's body and trying to steal memories out of Gruncle Stan's mind.

We beat him up every time though! One time with kitten fists!

[ That was the best one. ]

[captainbuzzkill]

You forgot to mention the apocalypse.

[That's kind of a big thing to miss.]

He also started the apocalypse.

[whyarewehere]

...I'm gonna take it you guys fixed that, because otherwise I really wanna know what the world was like after a kitten fist apocalypse.

[bleventeen]

Yeah, we erased him! Well, our Gruncles did. But we helped! That was after he turned most people into statues and built a giant chair out of them. And turned Gruncle Ford into gold.

[ She taps her chin thoughtfully. ]

I'm not sure I'd want to stop a kitten fist apocalypse...

[whyarewehere]

No really, kittens for fists? How would you do anything?

[ But that's distracting him from the other question he has: ]

And what's a Grunkle?

[bleventeen]

A gruncle is like an uncle, but great! That means really old.

[ Sort of. ]

And the kitten fists shot kittens out, so what couldn't you do with those?!

[whyarewehere]

Um... have fingers?

[ They're important okay?! ]

[bleventeen]

Yeah but kittens do all kinds of stuff without fingers.

[whyarewehere]

Kittens don't have to save the world, I'm pretty sure they have lower standards.

[bleventeen]

Um, apparently you've never seen Sparkletoes the Magnificat!

[ She scoffs, because WHO HASN'T watched a goobery kid's cartoon about a magic cat from her world?? ]

He has crazy high standards! And he's saved the world only about... [ She pauses, thinking. There were about three seasons of that show, right? ] eighty times! There were two movies.

[whyarewehere]

I'll tell you what. If I ever do see him, I'll be sure to apologize.