GAME OF THRONE [mod event]

[captainbuzzkill]

[When Dipper comes on screen he's in the supernatural research room that's attached to the Labs, where various Legionnaires have holed up over time to study the Book of Magic. Ray and Valeria are in there with him, working on the book behind them.]

This is so exciting! Ohmygosh.

Okay, so for anyone that's new, a while ago we had to get the spear of Destiny - like that spear of Destiny, that poked Yahweh-know-who? - to re-imprison the Spectre. Because we were the ones that let him out in the first place to stop this giant planet-eating guy with a stupid hat called Galactus.

Anyway, that's all taken care of, the Spectre's back in his box, but when we went to find the spear we met this guy guarding it that called himself The Wizard - like the Wizard, like he was the most important one or something? - and alongside telling us where the spear was, he gave us this magic book. He promised that if we could unlock its knowledge we might be able to find something to use against Chronoblivion.

We did a lot of research and found out it was legit but it's all wrapped up in codes and spells and riddles. We managed to unlock it enough that Ray was able to use its power to banish Eclipso to the room with a moose dimension, a dimension that's just...a room with a moose. (I don't get it, either). In that fight on Apokolips.

[Dipper rolls his hands around each other to show he's trying to fast forward.]

Anyway, a bunch of us have been working on it for a while and it turns out Gohan decoded some important encryptions before he got zapped home and he never got to tell the rest of us! I was going through his old notes to see if we missed anything and we were able to use it to figure out how to unlock the last spells guarding it. We're unlocking the last of it right now!

Brainiac got help from Sorcerer's World to use those magic artifacts we got from that marriage planet and combined it with technology to shield the research room, so nobody has to worry about any eff --

[Something crackles behind him, where Valeria and Ray are working. Some of Ray's equipment starts making alarming ticking noises. Ray says, "Definitely a sharp uptick in PKE valences...we may want to duck."]

[Dipper turns, yelps, and ducks just in time to avoid magical energy that zaps through the room like lightning. A more subtle wave of magical energy sweeps past after the initial zaps, spreading out all through Legion World. Val, Ray, and Dipper are just fine but frogs start appearing and raining from the ceiling in their research room, and the book floats off the table, completely wrapped up in ethereal glowing golden chains. Other Legionnaires throughout Legion World might also find strange magical effects spreading out all over.]

Uhhh.

Whuh oh.

Comments

[rushing_by]

Yes, we're talking about the same guy. The Legion's been good for him. He regularly shows up on time for missions.

[suckitblue]

...

I really, really don't think we're talking about the same guy.

[rushing_by]

Probably because he's never really had a reason to put in any real effort before now. Let's face it, fighting a fake war under the command of someone who frequently plots their death would put a drain on anybody's will to work.

[suckitblue]

[ Simmons sighs. ]

Sarge isn't that bad, Grif's just really dramatic.

[ He doesn't have to know exactly what Grif's told these guys, he can easily imagine. Grif has hated every second of being in the army, fake or real, it's no secret. But the vehemence always surprises Simmons when he's reminded, and somehow? It makes him a little sad. ]

[rushing_by]

He was run over by a robot tank and had to have his organs surgically replaced with yours by someone with absolutely no medical training. Most of us think he's not being dramatic enough.

[suckitblue]

[ Oh my god, that was so many years ago. So many. Of course Grif is still telling that story. ]

That wasn't even our fault, it was the Blues' tank! Sarge's quick thinking saved his life!

[ Granted, it was just good luck that Sarge had decided to turn Simmons into a cyborg so there were spare parts laying around, but it's still true.

...Simmons tries to avoid thinking about what unspeakable horror Grif has done to his poor, innocent organs over the years. Alas, poor pancreas. Simmons knew ye well. ]

[rushing_by]

Which he could only do because he decided to turn you into a cyborg with parts from a fax machine.

Let me put it this way: I'm from a world where giant shark people and telepathic gorillas are things that have happened, and even I think your world is messed up.

[suckitblue]

Well what else were we supposed to do with a fax machine?

[ Checkmate. ]

[rushing_by]

Use it to send faxes? That's kind of what it's there for.

[suckitblue]

It was 2552.

[ ...He's already lost the thread of this argument. ]

[rushing_by]

It's a less ridiculous idea than sticking it inside your body.

[suckitblue]

[ Simmons sighs. ]

Look. Sometimes your commanding officer says you're going to do a thing. It doesn't matter what you think about it, cause if it did then you'd be the commanding officer. So you do the thing. That's how the army is supposed to work.

[rushing_by]

I'm a CSI. I like to think I know a little something about how the law works. And I'm fairly certain no actual military tribunal would've convicted you for not wanting to have a fax machine stuffed inside of you. Especially since you weren't fighting a real war in the first place.

[suckitblue]

[ Simmons gives Barry a long, hard squint. ]

Who are you?

[ It's weird to have someone just up and talk to him about their place in the war like he knows. It's obvious that Grif's been talking to him, but who gave this guy the right? ]

[rushing_by]

Barry Allen, otherwise known as The Flash. Also one of Grif's friends.

[suckitblue]

[ Grif is a super hero in a world full of shiny, advanced technology. And he gets to be friends with The Flash! ]

Remember how I said this was completely unfair? It's actually beyond completely unfair.