[video]

[sickhacks]

Yo yo, check it!

[The vid opens up with a shot of what appears to be a young teen in a black full-ninja mask. Except he's wearing a red baseball cap. Backwards. And a gold chain around his neck.]

[Don't look nervous. Don't look nervous. He sketches a quick bow to the camera.]

My name's Dark Smoke Puncher, and it's a mad pleasure to make your acquaintance. Just got checked out by the docs a while ago and took the Legion oath, picked up my equipment, and I gotta say it's tight.

[He still can't believe this is real. And even with the revelation of the whole 'the universe is danger' thing, it's a welcome distraction from the damper on things back home. He'd be vibrating in his seat with excitement if he weren't trying to play it cool. These are superheroes he's talking to.]

[So instead, he crosses his arms in front of his chest and throws up a devil horn gesture, showing off his flight ring to the camera. It's placed over his glove, because of course it is. It's very shiny and gold against his outfit.]

From what I've heard, this Chronoblivion sucka's no joke. But I've got some nasty ninja skills of my own to bring to the table, and I'm - pretty good with robots too.

[He coughs.]

So yeah. See me around. Or don't. Because I'm a ninja.

Comments

[sickhacks]

Huh. My mom married in too. [He takes another glance at what little he can see of Kyou's face. Would staring at him would be weird or rude or something? But yeah, it's still cool. Maybe he should work something in like that for his next wizard disguise.] That's hellaciously cool, yo. I mean it. You look mad intimidating, and those eyes are sick.

But aight, yo. Glad to have some cultural exchange going all up in here. [He adjusts his cap, getting ready to launch into his story.] You ready to listen to me spitting some cold truth?

[letsgohurtpeople]

[He's never gotten a compliment about his appearance. His family didn't really feel the need because how they looked wasn't good or bad, it was just what they were. And then when they were gone, and Red Fang kept him under his thumb, the clan started treating him like he was hideous. An ugly monster. An inhuman thing.]

[They still do.]

[Even the one girl who's ever treated him like he was hot doesn't act like he's handsome. It's his skill and how good a killer he is that gets her motor running, and even then - it's not like she hasn't tried to kill him before, so that isn't really worth much.]

[He does look intimidating. Especially the eyes. The way he looks scares people away, especially when paired with his perpetual bad attitude and aggression. Even some of his friends back home cringed and cowered a little when they first met.]

[So this is literally the nicest thing anyone's ever said about how he looks. Ever.]

[For a second he looks suspicious, because he thinks the other ninja is being sarcastic at first, and then when he segues into wanting to share more about himself, he realizes it's sincere. He really thinks he looks cool and intimidating in a cool way. For a moment there's a strange vulnerable expression that flashes over his face, still visible because of the way the bridge of his nose and his eyes crinkle up, but he quickly wills it away and pretends it never happened.]

Go ahead. This better be good.

[But the way he says it is a little more gentle than he might have said it before the compliment.]

[sickhacks]

[Sean practically beams through his mask. He wants to hear it! How did it go again? He's not the best with storytelling, but if he stuck to how dad told it, Kyou would definitely be impressed, right?]

Alright, so check it. Hundreds of years ago, in the mid-sixteenth century, there was a village in Ireland, on the coast. They lived like simple and honest dawgs, ploughing that fresh farm dirt for potatoes and whatever.

But then one day, some salty suckas arrived. It was pirates! Those low-down dirty dogs were here to raid the village. It was almost over before it began. They had swords, and guns, and cannons. The village had charming cottages. They were getting ganked left and right, and it seemed like there was no hope left.

But there was... [He pauses dramatically, and sweeps a gauntleted hand through the air.] a miracle.

In the chill of winter, the shamrocks in the grass had become frozen. And sharp. And deadly. Then, in unison, the villagers plucked their wicked new weapons from the cold ground, and sent those candy-assed pirates packing back to their ships like the fools they were.

[Sean takes a second to wag his finger at the screen.]

But that's not all, yo. The OG victors barely had time to enjoy their victory before they heard a clap cutting through the chilled air. A ninja had been watching the battle, and was mad impressed by how the villagers threw down with the pirates. It was clear fo' sure that they had the ninja in them, and he could train them to unleash it.

No one could understand him though, because he was speaking Japanese. But eventually, they caught the gist of the sneaky homie, and were trained in the way of the ninja.

And that's how the McNinjas were born!

[letsgohurtpeople]

[He's quiet for a moment.]

That's like the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Why would a random ninja be hanging out there and how did he travel around in another country if he couldn't speak the language?

[It really is dumb.]

On the other hand, there aren't any other ninjas here, and it sounds like maaaaybe you learned actual ninja skills that were passed down the line. So, whatever.

You want to practice sometime? They have a training gym and a holodeck. Like Star Trek. I want to see how many enemies I can make it spawn at the same time before they start glitching.

[sickhacks]

[Okay, he said it was the dumbest thing ever, but also at the same time not? Sean's so glad he didn't decide to pick out the frozen shamrock shurikens as a detail to consider. He's not entirely sure how to explain that himself.]

They have a holodeck? Yeah! I'd love to! [He blurts out. And then he coughs into a fist, schooling his expression.] ...Love to go nuts on some holographic hostiles, that is. I've got some fresh moves that I've been dying to bust out, and I'll prove to you without a doubt the true rep of the McNinja Clan.

[letsgohurtpeople]

[The shamrock shurikens are weird as fuck but he has a friend that's a walking alien plant and another friend that can only use her magic if she transforms into various type of fictional wizards. Life is strange.]

[The enthusiasm is...kind of nice, though. Even with his friends he doesn't...get that a lot. He's the cranky friend that they appreciate watching their backs in a fight, not the one they clamor to hang out with.]

[He rolls his eyes a little.]

Yeah, you do that.

[Despite the eyeroll he's grinning under his mask and the smile reaches his eyes.]

Tomorrow. Simroom. 6 am sharp.

[sickhacks]

[They have a simroom. How is he not going to check that out immediately? Good thing they're cutting the conversation short here, because now he's itching to get his hands all over tech like that. He gives Kyou a quick two fingered salute, beaming.]

Cool. Catch you on the flip side.

[And with that, he cuts the feed, immediately bolting for the door.]

[The following day, Dark Smoke Puncher is there just a little bit earlier than 6am. Actually, he's been there the whole night and hasn't slept at all. Which is totally fine, he does all-nighters for his robots and schoolwork all the time. And none of that was half as interesting as this. At the moment, he's totally engrossed in typing furiously on the control panels, the area around him rapidly splicing between the default blank state of the room, and a heavily wooded forest. Holy @#$# this is cool.]