[video]

[sickhacks]

Yo yo, check it!

[The vid opens up with a shot of what appears to be a young teen in a black full-ninja mask. Except he's wearing a red baseball cap. Backwards. And a gold chain around his neck.]

[Don't look nervous. Don't look nervous. He sketches a quick bow to the camera.]

My name's Dark Smoke Puncher, and it's a mad pleasure to make your acquaintance. Just got checked out by the docs a while ago and took the Legion oath, picked up my equipment, and I gotta say it's tight.

[He still can't believe this is real. And even with the revelation of the whole 'the universe is danger' thing, it's a welcome distraction from the damper on things back home. He'd be vibrating in his seat with excitement if he weren't trying to play it cool. These are superheroes he's talking to.]

[So instead, he crosses his arms in front of his chest and throws up a devil horn gesture, showing off his flight ring to the camera. It's placed over his glove, because of course it is. It's very shiny and gold against his outfit.]

From what I've heard, this Chronoblivion sucka's no joke. But I've got some nasty ninja skills of my own to bring to the table, and I'm - pretty good with robots too.

[He coughs.]

So yeah. See me around. Or don't. Because I'm a ninja.

Comments

video

[ordinarily]

Please tell me that's your codename.

[ And not your real name. ]

[sickhacks]

What? Oh! Yeah, that's my superhero codename. But it's also my name. Sorry for the mix-up, dawg.

[ordinarily]

It's also your name.

[ Oh my god. ]

Like, your parents call you that?

[sickhacks]

Yeah, of course dude. [Have a side glance like whaat?] Why wouldn't they?

[ordinarily]

... Because it's not a normal name?

[ Did Danny really have to explain this??? ]

[sickhacks]

Damn right it's not a normal name. It's my ninja name, the one I picked when I came of age.

[Sean folds his arms, somewhat defensively.]

So why don't you give it some proper props, my man.

[ordinarily]

Okay then, so... did you... punch dark smoke back home...?

[ He's not being sarcastic, he's actually asking. Like, there has to be some meaning behind this name, right? Right? ]

[sickhacks]

Well... I fought a ghost wizard once?

[That was kind of like punching smoke, right? There still isn't a story behind his name though. No excuses.]

[ordinarily]

... How'd that go?

[ Danny will absolutely welcome this topic change into ghosts. Because he was pretty sure he was digging a hole with the name argument. ]

[letsgohurtpeople]

[Dark Smoke Puncher is greeted by...another ninja. He definitely isn't human, judging from the blue skin visible around his eyes, two white horns, and orange glowing eyes, but otherwise, he's in a pretty generic ninja outfit.]

[Those eyes are narrowed because he is judging him. He is judging him so hard.]

Why do you look like you got chewed up and spat out by a kidz bop rap compilation?

[sickhacks]

It went well. We got contracted by the Vatican City to get rid of it. Dad beat it out of its human shell and we exorcised the little sucka from this plane of existence.

But it possessed me first and mom almost had to kill me. But - [he's quick to say] - that was only because it had a secret fourth spell! Not because I'm lame or anything. My skills are the opposite of wack.

[sickhacks]

[Another ninja? And it looks like he's around his age too! Oh #%$&#* Sean, play it cool. He looks so awesome. But glowing eyes, oh wow.]

[He clears his throat, not nervously.] That's not any way to greet a ninja brother, yo. And while I get your sick reference, that ain't me. I wouldn't get chewed up for anything, I'm mad tough gristle.

[ordinarily]

Uh, no one said anything about your skills, dude.

[sickhacks]

Uh. Alright. Good. Cause they're great.

[Sean pauses. How does he take it from here?]

...What's your name?

Video

[gonebyebye]

Did you say something about a ghost wizard?

[The figure that comes on screen looks an awful lot like Dan Aykroyd in a khaki flight suit.]

[letsgohurtpeople]

[Kyou facepalms and drags his hand down his face, though he doesn't do it hard enough to unmask himself.]

[His hand only has four fingers, instead of five.]

[What did he do to deserve this? Only one other ninja shows up and it's this clown. Kyou's just shy of being enough of a dick to say that out loud, but only just.]

What clan are you from? I'm from the Red Frog clan, descended from the Kōga clan.

[sickhacks]

[Sean's eyes tracks the motion of the hand down. Dude. So cool.]

I'm from the McNinja clan. Descended from... the McNinja clan.

[His gaze flicks back up, slightly wide-eyed. He probably sounded like an idiot, didn't he?]

But we've got a crazy long history.

[sickhacks]

You bet I did. It-

[Hold up.]

Woah, woah, hey, hold up, brother. Are you... [Sean grabs his omnicom and brings it closer to his face, squinting at his screen.] Are you Ray Stantz? Are you serious?

[letsgohurtpeople]

A long history of what? Dressing up in costumes and playing pretend?

What kind of clan name is McNinja? That sounds Irish or Scottish.

[sickhacks]

Hey! Don't diss the McNinja name. This is the OG material right here. [His eyes narrow.] You don't know how long we've been sending those pirate fools packing. And sure, we might not be all hoity-toity like over in Japan, but we're still respectable. Fool.

[He crosses his arms, glaring his angry ginger eyebrows at the screen.] And it's Irish, thank you very much.

[letsgohurtpeople]

[Okay, pirates suck. He can agree on that. (Some things are multiversal, and ninjas vs. pirates is one of them.)]

If you're Irish how did your clan even learn ninjutsu?

[sickhacks]

Oh. Well. That's kind of a long story.

[He stops glaring at Kyou, at least. That seemed like interest, right? Sean really wants to be friends.]

You sure you wanna hear it? It's important to my family's traditions, and if you're just gonna diss it I ain't having no part of it.

[letsgohurtpeople]

As long as it ain't "I bought a really cool ninja costume on the internet and went to a dojo run by some American dude for three weeks and now I'm a ninja," maybe I won't come and punch you in the face for making a mockery of my entire way of life.

[He sets his comm against the arm of the couch he's sitting at in one of the common rooms and crosses his arms.]

I grew up mostly in New Jersey but it was still at an enclave that'd branched off from the main clans. Same traditions, same code, same training, same skills passed down, and we were all from Japan or descended from people who were.

[sickhacks]

Just 'cause my swag might be too much - [He flicks the brim of his cap with his thumb] - for you to handle, doesn't mean my skills are fake. I've been training and helping out on jobs my entire life, I ain't no dojo poser. If you wanna throw hands, you'll soon find that it'll be a mad mistake on your part.

[Sean's more than a little offended. But at the next part, he looks intrigued. But still offended.]

New Jersey? Hold up, so was your clan ever a part of the Guild of American Ninja?

[letsgohurtpeople]

Never even heard of 'em. They probably don't exist in my world.

Like I said, it's the Red Frog clan, which splintered off from the Kōga.

We had a enclave in New Jersey 'cause our clan guards these weird hell portals and uses them to hide from the rest of the world. They bend reality all weird so you can hide an entire training grounds near them, and only people trained to look for it know how to find it. We also keep nasty stuff from coming out through them.

We branched out because it was lucrative. [He rubs his fingers together in a "money money" gesture."] It's easier to take on international jobs when you have hidden bases on every continent.