Team Bonding, AMA

[the_civilian]

[ Tadashi is reclining in a bed in medical, wearing the beatific smile of the enlightened and the well and truly stoned. ]

I love biology. Well, no, I'm enthusiastic about biology, I don't love it. I love programming and engineering and my family and helping people. Not in that order. Maybe in that order in regards to science. Except programming and engineering are the tools I use to help people, but I do love them too.

[ He stares off into space for a moment, then shakes himself and focuses back on the camera again. ]

But, you know, the thing about biology that's so cool is that we don't understand it all the way. Sometimes biological interactions happen unexpectedly. Like, these painkillers. I don't have an example of them to show you; they're already in my system and the medical staff won't give me more of them because they make me really loopy. Which is cool, because it's not an allergic reaction or a result of a miscalculated dose, it's just a reaction that happens sometimes to some people. Which is cool! Even almost a thousand years in the future of an alternate universe -- which has seriously weird rules, oh my god you guys I wish I loved biology and philosophy and physics more so I could study how weird this place is, I could write so many papers -- people still don't really know how our bodies work and why they react to certain things the way they do. Reality is amazing and I am so happy it exists!

[ He beams at the camera, but his smile eventually fades into confusion. Then he gasps in apparent surprise. ]

Oh yeah! Anyway, I'm super bored right now and I can't concentrate enough to read anything longer than a few sentences. And I've kind of been focused on dealing with my own stuff and not lighting things on fire when I shouldn't to get to know people, so I was thinking I should get off my ass and do that. Metaphorically, not literally, because the medical staff has confined to this bed until I metabolize the painkillers.

I was thinking we could do a...thingy. That thing people sometimes-- AMA! Ask Me Anything, that thing! We could do that, but just for Legionnaires. Not that I don't love the staffers here, I do, but I was thinking it could be a team bonding thing and some people here are more private than others. But I'd need one of the scary computer ladies to lock it down for me, because I can't figure out how to do that right now.

[ His eyes widen suddenly. ]

I'm sorry, I didn't mean that like "scary computers who are women", that would be rude, I meant it like "scary women who are good with computers". Computer programming has a long history of ignoring the contributions of the women who are it's backbone, and we have a lot of women here who area really good at what they do and they deserve to be afforded all the respect due to them as people and as badasses. The patriarchy sucks like the vacuum abhorred by nature.

...I think this got away from me. What was I talking about?

Comments

[iamresponding]

No one's going to think you're a freak, kid. Trust me.

All of us aren't quite human anymore -- or never were baseline human -- you realize that right? Like my friend Justice is a mutant, which the rest of my world sees as freaks of nature --'cause they're idiots. Speedball is tied a dimension of kinetic energy and I've seen supervillains use technology that made him decohere into kinetic energy bubbles before.

And I may look human but I've been changed so much that I'm not even close. Not really. [He's holding up his omnicom with his robotic hand, and lifts his flesh and blood hand into view, causing Nova force energy to ripple over it in waves of shifting blue and gold.]

This energy? It's almost...alive, in a weird way. And I've been changed on the molecular level to hold it inside me. Changed so much that without it, I'd die. I'd fall apart, in just days, probably just...turn to sand or dissolve into goop or something.

I was born human but now I'm more like a star wrapped in human skin.

I've been changed that much. And so have a lot of people here. And some of 'em? They were never human at all. Look at Brainiac - his people think he's a freak, but look at all he's done for his team and for us. Look at what being different made him capable of. That's all of us. And even some of the people here that were born with what they have, because their whole species has it - they're still different from everyone else, from other species. We're all different to somebody.

So either we're all freaks or none of us are. Which one do you think is more likely?

[ordinarily]

Okay, look, I get it. Really, I do.

[ He's looking a bit ticked off, but it's not exactly directed at Rich, per se. ]

I'm in the future, in space, with a bunch of other superheroes that aren't normal. Some of them even come from the same place. I get it.

But it's not that easy to just shift gears like that. Not when you've spent the whole year as public enemy number one. Not when everyone hates you just because you're a freaking ghost trying to do the right thing like a dumb idiot.

[ There might be some pent-up resentment here. ]

[iamresponding]

I'm not telling you what to do. If you don't want anyone to know? I'll keep your secret. If you ever decide to tell anyone else, you gotta do it when you're ready.

But what I'm trying to say is just that there are other people here that understand dealing with that kind of hate and fear - and the hurt that comes from it. If you need us, if you ever want to open up and get support for all that, we're here.

[He gives him a gentle smile.]

And you're not an idiot for doing the right thing. I have this friend back home who gets treated awfully. The press and the public hates him. They twist everything he does to make it look like it's evil, when all the other heroes know he's one of the best of us. Nobody listens to us when we say he's a good guy, either.

Even despite all that, he knows the score - he knows that what he does is what makes him who he is. When I was new at the hero thing, he told me: "with great power comes great responsibility."

By now, one year in, I'd bet my bucket that you already know some people get power and use it selfishly - or even sadistically. And you don't. You use it to protect people, even when they're ungrateful. What you do, especially when no one gives you credit for it, that says more about you than anything anyone else could ever say about you.

[ordinarily]

[ In some small way, what he's saying does get through to Danny. It's not enough to really get him talking about his secret, but it's enough to at least calm him down. He sighs, crossing his arms, leaning against the wall wherever he was sitting. Then, letting out a scoff. ]

I should tell you about Vlad Masters.

[ And he says the man's name like it's poison. ]

[iamresponding]

Wow, that's gotta one of the most blatantly supervillainous names I've ever heard. Is that like his legal name?

[ordinarily]

Totally.

Gets better though. His villain name is Plasmius. Vlad Plasmius.

[iamresponding]

[Rich erupts into laughter.]

He looks like a vampire, right? Or is one. Am I close? With a name like that he's gotta have a vampire thing going on.

[ordinarily]

Yeah, he's definitely got a vampire thing going on.

Like, he's not really a vampire, but for some reason, that's what he went with.

Because he's a freaking fruitloop.

[iamresponding]

I had this villain called Diamondhead. You know what his deal was?

He had a diamond for a head.

[Yep.]

Then there was also The Condor, and uuuh, his whole thing was that he looked like a Condor.

[ordinarily]

What, you're telling me The Condor didn't look like a gorilla?

[iamresponding]

Yeah, I know. Crazy, right?

[ordinarily]

Oh-- oh man, speaking of dumb villains.

So, the most obnoxious one I have to deal with? The box ghost.

[iamresponding]

[Rich laughs again.]

Now, does he haunt boxes or is he shaped like one? It really could be either.

[ordinarily]

The first one.

And I mean, it's literally anything even remotely box-like.

Which would be fine, if he wasn't a loud idiot.

[ He clears his throat, throwing his hands up like he's pretending to be spooky. ]

BEWARE! For I am, THE BOOOOOX GHOOOOOST! MASTER of all things cardboard and square!

[iamresponding]

[Okay, now Rich isn't just laughing, now he's dying. Good job, Danny, you've done what even Thanos couldn't even do. You've killed him. It takes him a while to get the laughter under control.]

[It's actually rare that he laughs this hard anymore. It's been a rough few years.]

Blue blazes, how do you even manage to stay upright to fight him? I'd probably wind up laughing on the floor every time.

[ordinarily]

Well, it was funny the first few times.

But it's been a year.

And this happens like, a bunch of times a week.

... You can see where I'm going with this.

[iamresponding]

Yeeeah, we've all been there. Like I said...The Condor.

[ordinarily]

Okay, so like. What did he actually do?

Like, did he just fly around robberies, and come down when someone was dead?

[ Wrong bird, Danny. ]

[iamresponding]

You're thinking vultures. He spent most of his time flying around doing robberies, trying to get evil plans going that were way above his weight class, and getting beaten up by a high schooler.

I wasn't a particularly bright high schooler, either. C-student. He was supposedly a supergenius scientist and I still beat him every time.

[ordinarily]

Oh, so he's Technus.