Team Bonding, AMA

[the_civilian]

[ Tadashi is reclining in a bed in medical, wearing the beatific smile of the enlightened and the well and truly stoned. ]

I love biology. Well, no, I'm enthusiastic about biology, I don't love it. I love programming and engineering and my family and helping people. Not in that order. Maybe in that order in regards to science. Except programming and engineering are the tools I use to help people, but I do love them too.

[ He stares off into space for a moment, then shakes himself and focuses back on the camera again. ]

But, you know, the thing about biology that's so cool is that we don't understand it all the way. Sometimes biological interactions happen unexpectedly. Like, these painkillers. I don't have an example of them to show you; they're already in my system and the medical staff won't give me more of them because they make me really loopy. Which is cool, because it's not an allergic reaction or a result of a miscalculated dose, it's just a reaction that happens sometimes to some people. Which is cool! Even almost a thousand years in the future of an alternate universe -- which has seriously weird rules, oh my god you guys I wish I loved biology and philosophy and physics more so I could study how weird this place is, I could write so many papers -- people still don't really know how our bodies work and why they react to certain things the way they do. Reality is amazing and I am so happy it exists!

[ He beams at the camera, but his smile eventually fades into confusion. Then he gasps in apparent surprise. ]

Oh yeah! Anyway, I'm super bored right now and I can't concentrate enough to read anything longer than a few sentences. And I've kind of been focused on dealing with my own stuff and not lighting things on fire when I shouldn't to get to know people, so I was thinking I should get off my ass and do that. Metaphorically, not literally, because the medical staff has confined to this bed until I metabolize the painkillers.

I was thinking we could do a...thingy. That thing people sometimes-- AMA! Ask Me Anything, that thing! We could do that, but just for Legionnaires. Not that I don't love the staffers here, I do, but I was thinking it could be a team bonding thing and some people here are more private than others. But I'd need one of the scary computer ladies to lock it down for me, because I can't figure out how to do that right now.

[ His eyes widen suddenly. ]

I'm sorry, I didn't mean that like "scary computers who are women", that would be rude, I meant it like "scary women who are good with computers". Computer programming has a long history of ignoring the contributions of the women who are it's backbone, and we have a lot of women here who area really good at what they do and they deserve to be afforded all the respect due to them as people and as badasses. The patriarchy sucks like the vacuum abhorred by nature.

...I think this got away from me. What was I talking about?

Comments

Grif

[whyarewehere]

Okay. But no dating questions. Please.

[the_civilian]

Pumpkins. Yea or nay?

[whyarewehere]

...You gotta understand I've been involved in so many smashed pumpkin jokes.

[the_civilian]

...That sounds mean.

[whyarewehere]

Yeah, that's us.

[ He shrugs it off. ]

We didn't get to pick colors.

[goddamngrenades]

Top three snackcakes. You're the closest thing to an expert I know.

[whyarewehere]

One second.

[ Grif vanishes from the frame, and can be heard rifling around his room offscreen. He returns with... ]

Okay, here are our contenders.

[ Yes, those are entire open snack cake boxes. Grif pulls out a sample from each of the three. He pushes a lamp and two coffee cups off his desk and out of the way so he can present them. ]

This is a Chocolate D'xkfthagn.

[ He doesn't miss a single alien syllable as he turns the wrapped snack over in his fingers. The label is written in three different languages. ]

They didn't actually make them in chocolate flavor to start with? That's a human idea. And it rocks. Score one for humanity. A little too soft on the attack, but the flavor's good with a nice finish.

[ Grif sets it down gently and picks up his next victim. Whatever it is, it's bright pink. ]

And this is a Marshmallow Joypuff. This is from Earth. It's also a lie.

[ He squeezes all the air to one side of the wrapper to pop it and pulls out the cake. He cracks it in half with his hands, displaying the fluffy white filling. ]

That's not marshmallow. I know it looks like marshmallow, but this is the space future. Animal cruelty laws. I don't know how they did it? But they got close. The cake's not weird and squishy, either. Could've gone with something besides pink, but I'll take it.

And last...

[ That's a Little Debbie Jelly Creme Pie. It could be nothing else. Grif grins. ]

Not even the space future can kill a legend.

[ If anyone expected this reply to end without Grif digging into one of these, now is the time to be surprised. ]

[iamresponding]

[Rich tries to say something, tries to cut in with a joke, but he breaks before he can even say a word, and just starts laughing his ass off.]

[whyarewehere]

You can laugh, Rich, but I have the jelly creme pie!

We know who the winner is here!

[goddamngrenades]

Name your price for the supplier of the jelly cream pie, man. I know people but I don't know snack people.

[whyarewehere]

...What have you got for trade?

[ If Grif knows York by now, he's sure York has his own sources for similar such niceties. For a moment, it's like being in a crime movie or something. ]

[lovernotafighter]

[Because he has to know...]

One thing you miss from home.

[whyarewehere]

Bacon.

[ Tucker's barely finished saying "home" when Grif just blurts that out, all authority. It's definitely, definitely bacon.

He's missed things about home. He's missed.... stability, maybe. They've had some ridiculous adventures, but most of the time things are steady and quiet in a way Legion World can't be. There was no looming space apocalypse. There was no reason to have to be a hero.

...Well. There wasn't, anyway. Then some stupid goddamn idiots ruined it. Their world is full of them. That would completely sour the homesickness too, if some of those idiots weren't his friends.

Bacon is a way, way better answer than any of this. ]

[lovernotafighter]

[Of all the people, of all the bullshit, of warthogs and pelicans and Freckles and shit...

It was bacon.

Tucker wasn't surprised it was food. He wasn't surprised because even if it wasn't (which he wasn't sure about), he was fairly certain that Grif still wouldn't tell him otherwise.]

So, floppy bacon or crisp?

[Instead, he'll just talk about bacon and make you miss it more. Enjoy.]

[whyarewehere]

This is supposed to be fun, not Sophie's Choice.

[ Of course he should've known Tucker's here to make him sad. What else does Tucker do? ]

[mirror_soldier]

Did you ever find out if you could pass through walls?

[whyarewehere]

Of course I can pass through walls. I could always do that.

[ HISTORICAL REVISION IS GO. ]

[mirror_soldier]

Really?

[Attached is a link of Grif running in to the training room wall.]

So you were just doing this for fun then?

[whyarewehere]

.....Yes.

[ Nailed it. ]

[short_changed]

What's the oddest food combination you've tried that had a surprisingly good outcome?

[whyarewehere]

I don't know. Probably peanut butter and ketchup.

They didn't like sending us actual liquids in Blood Gulch.

[short_changed]

...Jesus. Seriously? If that's what you got had drink, what did they send you to eat?

[hallaifyouherd]

Am I a nerd?

[whyarewehere]

Do you like books and-slash-or computers?

[hallaifyouherd]

I do like books. My friend Dorian and I would spend hours in the library together.