yay now is fighty time [video]

[letsgohurtpeople]

[He almost doesn't want to make the stupid video but he knows that, as much as he wants to, he can't just hide away until the next mission, ninja in, and start doing...whatever. Hero stuff. Whatever it is that heroes do.]

[God, he's done it this time, hasn't he? Gotten into yet more hero crap, and he doesn't even know these assholes. At least back home, he and the other Remedial kids are friends now. Sure, he's hoping to eventually use them in his whole quest for vengeance, but at this point, they'd probably help out with that willingly.]

[Now he's got to make nicey nice with a bunch of strangers, when it was already hard enough to do it the first time. And apparently he's not allowed to kill anybody if he joins up with their outfit. The only way to really face this threat to all their worlds is with this stupid team, and that means he's got to follow their stupid rules.]

[So it's a very cranky ninja that appears on screen. His face is cowled; the small bit of skin that's visible is a bright blue. Two pointy white horns jut out from the sides of his forehead, and his eyes glow with a menacing orange glow. Even though his face is cowled, the way his eyes are crinkled up make it clear he's scowling under there.]

[When he speaks, his voice is low and raspy. He sounds like the teenage boy he is, but definitely the kind of teenage boy that smokes six packs a day. Also the Joisey accent is pretty unmistakable.]

'Sup, losers. My name's Kyou Tanaka. I've been told there's some kind of cosmic whatever we've gotta stab repeatedly in the face.

Which is a good thing because apparently the morons in charge of this outfit won't let us stab anything else in the face.

So you're going to not be seeing me hanging around a lot. I say "not" on account of, y'know, ninja. But on the off chance you ever do see me, like when I move in for the ki - uh, punching, for the punching - don't shoot me or blow me up with butt lasers or anything. I can heal from it, but seeing as most of you can't heal when I inevitably throw a shuriken in your eye on sheer reflex, you should probably save us both the trouble.

[He pauses. Shit, what else is he supposed to say?]

I guess I'm supposed to tell you my "superhero" name. [Quotey fingers. He only has four fingers on each hand.] It's Murderizer McKillinstuff.

[Another pause.]

Just because I'm following your stupid no-killing rules doesn't mean I have to like it.

Comments

video

[letsgohurtpeople]

[Kyou narrows his eyes and then checks the roster on his omnicom. And then his voice goes even more growly than usual.]

Aw, what?! They changed it to something lame!

[He mutters.] Stupid superheroes with their morals.

This is why I normally stay five million miles away from hero crap. The only reason I got roped into it back home is because it's starting to look like one of those fate of the world things and because my stupid friends don't know how to mind their goddamn business.

video

[araignee_du_soir]

It is rather... irritating to have to play by these rules. [An understatement.] But such is how things are for the moment. Bide your time and perhaps opportunity will appear.

permalocked to Widowmaker

[letsgohurtpeople]

Opportunity for what?

[Please give him the good news, that he may bring the Lord's stabbings to the masses at some point.]

permalocked

[araignee_du_soir]

A better application of your skills than playing intergalactic babysitter with a bunch of heroes.

But such opportunity will take time to present itself. As a ninja, you make use of the shadows. Remember, the shadows are always watching. [mm_oOOoOOo_mm]

In the meantime, the Chronoblivion is a real threat and must be treated as such. It is the only reason the Legion is accepting those such as you and I.

[letsgohurtpeople]

I knew their whole "come be a hero" thing had to be just because they're desperate.

[There's only one group of people that actually care about him, and that want him around, and they're not here.]

I get that they need us to fight this giant cosmic asshole. Otherwise, I bet they wouldn't even be tough enough. But what happens after? When they don't need people like us anymore?

[araignee_du_soir]

That depends on how much you want to believe them. They say they will return us to our proper times once they figure out how. They say we cannot be charged for any crimes we have committed in our own worlds, so we essentially have a clean slate here.

I am sure even an American like you knows that when something sounds too good to be true, it usually is. When the time comes, it is important to have allies and...leverage. Heroes shackle themselves with their morals.

[letsgohurtpeople]

Allies, huh? I'm guessing that means you and I aren't the only ones here that have a body count.

[The gears in his head start turning.]

Leverage would be a good thing to have. For all they talk about selflessness and justice and crap, an organization like this has to have some skeletons in their closet that can be used for blackmail material.

[Then, if they try to capture them or send them to jail in the end, they can threaten to reveal it to the galaxy.]

I'm real good at getting into all those fun little secure places where people keep their fun little secrets. Any chance you and some other allies might find that handy?

[araignee_du_soir]

We have use for all sorts, Kyou. Talon is always recruiting. [A pause.] Best not to mention that name around Agent Washington; he will no doubt try to parent you and steer you on the straight and narrow path as it is, but will doubly do so if you mention Talon.

Regardless, leverage can be more than just dirty laundry. Putting these heroes in our debt is just as effective. Save one of them and they will hesitate to stop us when it really matters. Heroes and their codes

[Oh, she should probably introduce herself.] I am Widowmaker.

[letsgohurtpeople]

Cool name. What's Talon?

[He knows to read the fine print before agreeing to basically anything and while he's all for allying himself with other stabby people, them having a formal name twigs his paranoia a little.]

[Young or not, he knows that sometimes it's important to tread cautiously, even among his own kind. Hell, especially among his own kind. Back home, it isn't the supervillain kids he has to worry about stabbing him in the back, it's his fellow ninjas.]

[araignee_du_soir]

Talon is an organization myself and a few of my associates here are from. [Reaper was technically still out there, even if he had gone silent and stopped checking in.] Our main philosophy is that only through conflict can people grow stronger; that peace leads to complacency and weakness.

We are not petty criminals that glut ourselves on wealth and power simply craving more and more. We are a scalpel of precision, removing obstacles that would coddle people, promoting unification and tolerance. Sheep are fit only for slaughter, but put enough wolves amid the sheep, and they will remember that only the strongest will survive. We are classified as terrorists, but that really doesn't matter.

[Widowmaker then sighed in irritation.] But here, we are extremely limited in resources, numbers, and the playing field is intergalactic instead of just international. We are currently reassessing our potential based on our circumstances. Think of as more of a cell than an organization at this point. We are more focused with landing on our feet when the rug is pulled out from underneath us than the grander philosophy. We survive first.

I usually don't do recruitment as I lack emotional connection. I'm sure Sombra can give you a better pitch.

[letsgohurtpeople]

Yeah, that sounds pretty lame. Like someone got a little too into their copy of the Anarchist Cookbook and mostly just likes having an excuse to kill people for funsies.

[Some of the people he knows that fight hardest and most brutally are the ones that grew up in relative peace. He's seen Amit launch bad guys through a concrete wall before, and his parents practically babied him growing up. Good people from decent circumstances sometimes fight harder than someone used to violence ever could - because they understand how important the good things they're fighting for are.]

But I'm willing to ally with you guys just to make sure we all get out of this without seeing the inside of a jail cell.

Survival is something we can agree on and I don't care what your organization does as long as it doesn't get in the way of that.

[araignee_du_soir]

I am unsure what an anarchist's culinary education has to do with this; it's not as though cassoulet is difficult to make. But we aren't killing for 'funsies', Murderizer McKillinstuff. There is purpose, drive and goals. Only some of them require killing, which is why I exist.

It... ah, makes more sense in the context of my world where we only have humans and robots we created to make life easier. It was no surprise when we were almost wiped out of existence by the omnics; we had made ourselves soft. Talon was born from the ashes of that war.

Regardless of Talon's origin, survival is our priority here.

[letsgohurtpeople]

[He can kind of see how terrorizing society could force it to become stronger so that they could stand in the face of some external threat.]

[...He can also see how constant destabilization might just make everyone weaker. That means making people operate from a place of fear and is just as likely to drive them apart as it is to make them cooperate.]

[Still, when it comes to survival being a priority, she's speaking his language.]

Then we're on the same page.

When all this is over and they inevitably draw the net in around anyone that doesn't fit their squeaky superhero ideal, if you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours. At least until we get out of here.

We have a deal?

[araignee_du_soir]

That is acceptable. And once we are out, I do not care where you go or what you do. [As long as he doesn't turn against Talon. Then she would just kill him.]

[letsgohurtpeople]

Same.

[You keep on keeping on with that weird high concept terrorism thing, lady.]

Until then, if you need any help laying down, ah...any groundwork let me know.

[Traps, sabotage, long-term manipulations that they can rely on to use to get out later...he's not above setting this team up for a fall, as long as the plug isn't pulled until his world is safe and they're free and clear.]