thelegion | yay now is fighty time [video]

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yay now is fighty time [video]

[He almost doesn't want to make the stupid video but he knows that, as much as he wants to, he can't just hide away until the next mission, ninja in, and start doing...whatever. Hero stuff. Whatever it is that heroes do.]

[God, he's done it this time, hasn't he? Gotten into yet more hero crap, and he doesn't even know these assholes. At least back home, he and the other Remedial kids are friends now. Sure, he's hoping to eventually use them in his whole quest for vengeance, but at this point, they'd probably help out with that willingly.]

[Now he's got to make nicey nice with a bunch of strangers, when it was already hard enough to do it the first time. And apparently he's not allowed to kill anybody if he joins up with their outfit. The only way to really face this threat to all their worlds is with this stupid team, and that means he's got to follow their stupid rules.]

[So it's a very cranky ninja that appears on screen. His face is cowled; the small bit of skin that's visible is a bright blue. Two pointy white horns jut out from the sides of his forehead, and his eyes glow with a menacing orange glow. Even though his face is cowled, the way his eyes are crinkled up make it clear he's scowling under there.]

[When he speaks, his voice is low and raspy. He sounds like the teenage boy he is, but definitely the kind of teenage boy that smokes six packs a day. Also the Joisey accent is pretty unmistakable.]

'Sup, losers. My name's Kyou Tanaka. I've been told there's some kind of cosmic whatever we've gotta stab repeatedly in the face.

Which is a good thing because apparently the morons in charge of this outfit won't let us stab anything else in the face.

So you're going to not be seeing me hanging around a lot. I say "not" on account of, y'know, ninja. But on the off chance you ever do see me, like when I move in for the ki - uh, punching, for the punching - don't shoot me or blow me up with butt lasers or anything. I can heal from it, but seeing as most of you can't heal when I inevitably throw a shuriken in your eye on sheer reflex, you should probably save us both the trouble.

[He pauses. Shit, what else is he supposed to say?]

I guess I'm supposed to tell you my "superhero" name. [Quotey fingers. He only has four fingers on each hand.] It's Murderizer McKillinstuff.

[Another pause.]

Just because I'm following your stupid no-killing rules doesn't mean I have to like it.

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[Someone seems to have entered "Kid Fluffums" in his official Legion records as the codename.]

[Wow what an edgelord. Kubo doesn't even know the word 'edgelord,' and yet somehow, he's thinking it.]

If you do throw a shuriken at my eye, can you throw it at my left, not my right? I'm all out of spares.

Edited 2017-09-17 06:20 (UTC)

[Oh. It's a kid. He should probably be...nice or something, right?]

[Because he's trying to be nice, the words are just breezy and casual instead of threatening or angry.]

Yeah, I can do that, I've got good aim.

Thank you. That's very considerate.

[Kubo says it dryly, but with a bit of a smile. It's not like this person is aggressively mean, like Rico is or Azula was . . . he's just not going out of his way to be nice.

Kubo can get along with blunt people. His mother is - was - the bluntest person he's ever met, and he'll never stop missing her.]

Welcome to the Legion. My name is Kabutomushi Kubo. My superhero name is Paperboy.

[His shamisen is on his lap, and he lifts it into position to play a few notes and send some paper fluttering across the screen, folding itself into the shapes of shuriken.]

You said you had healing powers? What a great power to have. I wouldn't give up my paper magic, but I think my family would rather I had healing powers instead.

[The whole magical music thing is weird, but not really that weird. Even if not many people in his clan other than his fa -- other than him have powers, almost everyone at his school does.]

[So when he raises a quizzical eyebrow it's not because of Kubo's powers. It's how he seems to be saying...nice things? At him? Those things sound conversational. And nice. He's not used to nice and even with Amit and the others being all nice at him, it still hasn't lost its shock value.]

[Still, even if he's not used to it, he muddles on through, flexing some socialization muscles that he's still not used to using again, even despite his friends back home.]

Yeah. I guess. Not dying when you're stabbed in the kidney, always a plus.

[He shrugs. It keeps him alive. But it's not exactly pleasant.]

[(What is smalltalk even?)]

[He notices a sword and a bow.]

Nice bow.

[Kyou couldn't have realized the Jar of Bonding he would open by complimenting his father's bow.]

Thank you! It was my father's - he was here for a little while, but he -

[Oops, that ventures into sad territory. He veers away.]

Mother and I bought it for him, when she was here too -

[Oh, but that's a bit sad, too. He soldiers on.]

I try to practice with it every day, when there's not a mission, but I don't think I'll ever be as good as Father was. He could split five arrows in a row, without even thinking.

[Beetle did most everything without thinking, but still.]

Do you practice the bow? Would you like to come shoot with me some time?

[Please be an archery buddy, please be an archery buddy.]

[Those pauses are...he knows they mean something and for a second he wonders if they mean the thing he's thinking of. He wonders if the feelings plugging up Kubo's throat and stopping his sentences are the same feelings that've caused his throat to close up. But that's the kicker, isn't it? If he tries to talk about it, he'll choke, and if he's wrong about why Kubo's pausing like that, it'll be mortifying.]

I know how to shoot. I tend to stick to a blowgun and poison darts, though. Easier to conceal.

[Is he supposed to say yes to practicing?]

Are you this... [He struggles to find a word to describe it that is not an asshole word. It's very, very hard.] ... friendly? With everyone?

[The small, nice child confuses him, but to be fair, even most of the non-ninja young people's he knows have dedicated their lives to robbing banks with death lasers. Of his friends, only Amit is too squishy for the supervillain thing.]

I've never used those. Father -

[Does he say 'was,' or 'is?' That's maybe the most confusing part of dealing with his parents who are dead, but might come back. He settles on the hopeful option.]

Father is a samurai. I don't think blowguns and poison darts were among the weapons he'd mastered. I could be wrong, though.

[The reluctance to accept an invitation to practice halted his enthusiasm, too. He had such trouble making connections with kids around his age, and sometimes he didn't understand why. When it was kids who'd never seen their parents murdered in front of them, who'd never taken on the responsibility of superheroing, THAT he understood - but all he'd done was invite the new boy to come shoot with him. Was that wrong? Did he not realize that few people on this station used such archaic weapons, or was Kubo just . . . still too strange for other kids, even here, in his way?]

I don't know what you mean.

[What etiquette was he breaching, here? He thought about it carefully.]

I'm not friendly to cruel people.

[Kyou could, for example, go and ask Rico, but Kubo rolled his eyes even at the thought of bringing Rico into this conversation.]

Ew.

[It's reflexive, not meant to hurt, so he tries to recover.]

I mean the samurai thing. I'm sure your dad's a nice guy.

[You don't insult dads. Or moms. You never know what someone's baggage might be.]

[He scratches the back of his neck.]

It's just I think I'm supposed to factor in the whole eternal blood feud thing when I'm talking to you, but samurai don't exist anymore where I'm from, so I guess it doesn't matter anyway?

[He raises an eyebrow again at the "friendly to cruel people" thing]

But you heard the part where I said I was a ninja, right? As in, I stab people in the back? For money? In a highly professional capacity?

Edited 2017-09-17 08:09 (UTC)

Father is the nicest person I've ever met.

[The insult to samurai in general is quickly washed away by Kyou's caveat. He's respectful of individuals if not a collective, and there are people around worse than that. And as for blood feuds, Kubo is the result of shrugging one off, so -]

My mother did that for a long time. She killed many noble warriors before she met my father.

[He moves his fingers, almost instinctively, to pluck at the strings of his shamisen, the first notes of his mother's story making his paper jolt to attention, though it never quite folds -]

But I'm really not telling the story right. It's . . . too long a story to tell here. Mother wasn't proud of who she'd been, but she was . . .

[There he goes, using the past tense to refer to her, too. When he so much prefers to keep her return a possibility in his mind.]

She's more than her past. You are too.

[He says that with a solid conviction that has nothing to do with knowing Kyou personally. For all he knows, Kyou will always stab anyone for money. But he doesn't have to be that person forever. He'll always have the potential to become someone new.

Or . . . slightly less backstabby.]

But you don't have to come and shoot with the son of a samurai if your clan has a code against that. I'll just go and shoot by myself . . . with my father's bow . . . and my mother's magic sword . . .

[And if a backstabbing ninja happens to show up maybe they can be friends anyway? It wouldn't be the first time someone of Kubo's ancestry has befriended a murderous night terror.]

Who do you -

[He's about to do a full 'who do you think you are? You don't know me, shut the fuck up' in response to the 'you are too,' but he grits his teeth and stops mid-sentence, because he's been...trying. He's been trying to not bite everyone's heads off five seconds in their first conversation. He still sucks at it, but an attempt is an attempt, right?]

[Also a magic sword sounds cool.]

[But mostly it's the past tense. "Mother was," along side the present tense. There's...something there. Something that makes him curious.]

Magic sword, huh? That sounds almost not lame. As far as samurai bullshit goes.

Edited 2017-09-17 08:31 (UTC)

[The indignation came too quick for Kubo not to notice. It stings, again, that he was trying to be friendly and kind, but making another mistake that gets people mad at him.

Why did that make Kyou angry? He'd said he stabbed people in the back, and the way he said it, he seemed to know that was hardly an honorable thing to carry on doing in life -

'You don't have to come' is on the tip of Kubo's tongue. But if he's the one who's given the offense, well - he did act with rash pride the first time he squared off against Rico, when he made the mistake of baiting the judge. Rash pride doesn't lead anywhere better than making a mistake in the first place.

He settles, then, for a briefer, more subdued response.]

It's another story too long to tell here.

[Unfortunately, that sounds unfriendly, but is just true.]

Mother, Father, and I fought a gashadokuro for it.

Okay, that's more than just not-lame, that's actually kinda cool.

[Kinda.]

[This is hard. Because maybe he would like to hear some stories, maybe he would like to hang out and practice archery. Maybe this is someone his age who he can joke around with.]

[But maybe it'll blow up in his face somehow, because most people suck and he knows you can't really trust anyone. His friends back home are a rare, rare exception, so rare that he's willing to throw himself on a grenade to protect them at this point.]

[He's just not used to this, not used to kindness, or people wanting to spend time with him.]

[Still, despite his hesitation, he decides to go for it.]

[But he can't seem to look at Kubo's eyes through the comms. He has to look away from his comm-screen, like just wanting to hang out makes him feel vulnerable somehow - like he's used to eye contact being a dangerous thing during vulnerable moments.]

I guess I could use a little archery practice. You never know when you might have to improvise in a fight. Pick up an enemy's weapon. Or something.

Edited 2017-09-17 09:11 (UTC)

[Is this a joke? Thad wasn't always great at picking up on that, and this guy doesn't sound too far off from some of the people Impulse or Young Justice had interacted with, so he honestly isn't sure. In fact, he was almost like Lil'Lobo or like what Slobo was purported to be like in his records, but with less use of the word's frag or bastich.]

You do realize, you're going to have to deal with a vast majority of people calling you that on a fairly regular basis, right?

[ Ninja filled with anger and rage. Where has Zenyatta seen this before? It's so familiar. ]

Hello, Murderizer McKillinstuff.

Should I announce my presence when I approach you? I do not have footsteps, and sometimes I startle people. It has led to a blade at my throat before.

[ For the record, Zenyatta does know sarcasm and doesn't truly believe that to be his name. It doesn't stop him from poking a little fun at the obvious joke of a hero name. ]

A-duh. What's the point in having a badass superhero name if nobody uses it?

Edited 2017-09-17 23:52 (UTC)

Probably. I'm going to try to lay off the stabby stab, but people sneak up and try to kill me all the time, so it's pretty much reflex. I can work on that so I don't do it to people, but it's probably safer for everyone if they try not to surprise me.

[It definitely says something about his life that his reflexes are so heavily honed to deal with people trying to stab him in the back, and while those reflexes aren't impossible to curb, he'd just rather not have to do that thing where he reflexively attacks and has to stop himself at the last second. It tends to freak people out. (Understandably.)]

How come you don't have footsteps? [Kyou doesn't, but that's all training.] You're a robot, right? Do you have like a built-in jetpack or something?

[He's not exactly sociable, but this place and the people in it are kinda sorta interesting, just like the Academy of Evil had been different and interesting compared to the clan's compound.]

[Now here's some potential that could eventually be useful in the future when they decided it was time to leave. Unfortunately, it was a child. Perhaps the child just needed someone ~~blue~~ to identify with.]

You may want to check the roster; I doubt they have allowed that as your code name. They barely allowed mine.

[Kyou narrows his eyes and then checks the roster on his omnicom. And then his voice goes even more growly than usual.]

Aw, what?! They changed it to something lame!

[He mutters.] Stupid superheroes with their morals.

This is why I normally stay five million miles away from hero crap. The only reason I got roped into it back home is because it's starting to look like one of those fate of the world things and because my stupid friends don't know how to mind their goddamn business.

Edited 2017-09-18 00:33 (UTC)

[The vulnerability is clear, and Kubo softens more over it. Maybe he's not the only one here who has trouble making friends his age.

There's a small drawing program on his omnicom, and he quickly uses it to design a little map from the edge of the Hab to a set point, then sends it to Kyou.]

Here's a map to my father's part of the Hab. It's underground, but not very deep. I have Watch for the next two hours, but I'm going over to practice after that. If you want to come, I'll wait by the entrance for a little.

Edited 2017-09-18 00:34 (UTC)

Take it from a guy who's had his name changed to something stupid in the past: someone is probably going to end up calling you McNugget. It might be one of the old Legionnaires. It might be someone on the Anon Meme. It might even be me.

Now that I think about it, it's definitely going to be me. It's way less ridiculous than having to call you McKillinstuff.

Edited 2017-09-18 00:39 (UTC)

Yeah, okay.

[Um. What else is he supposed to do?]

I'll see you then?

[And then he disconnects because friendliness is weird.]

[He narrows his eyes.]

If you call me McNugget I'm gonna call you Wedgie McSpandex.

Edited 2017-09-18 00:42 (UTC)

[Oh. Oh, he's going to be one of the interesting ones. Evidently the Time Trapper has a minimum of one edgelord aboard Legion World, because here this guy is.]

[Teenagers. Honestly.]

As you've probably already seen, if you don't have an approved hero name, or have one that's a little...let's say out of the ordinary - you're going to start getting people calling you hey you or coming up with nicknames.

So you should probably come up with a new one unless you want people calling you, say, Baron von Stabbity. Or Knifeface McNinja.

It is rather... irritating to have to play by these rules. [An understatement.] But such is how things are for the moment. Bide your time and perhaps opportunity will appear.

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