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thelegion2017-09-10 12:22 am
legionnpcs) wrote in thelegion2017-09-10 12:22 am
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Legion Watch | 005 [video]
[cw: While there is mention of child abuse, it's in regards to charges pressed, nothing graphic is shown.]
[The Legion World staff maintains a feed of all Legion-related media so Legionnaires can be kept abreast of any reporting that's done on them. Two women appear on the screen, sitting at a desk, their appearances altered by glam filters so that one is all pink hair and skin and sparkles, and the other is all in blues. They look pretty flashy and tacky but this is the future. Reporters don't exist anymore; they're "personalities" now. More serious news outlets have already reported on the Brainiacs; this is one of the fluffier retrospective programs that have aired.]
Shellee: I'm Shellee Star! [That would be the pink one.]
Tammee: And I'm Tammee Tim! [That would be the blue one.]
Together: And this is Legion Watch! [They say it in unison in the perkiest voices possible and a stylized graphic of the words "Legion Watch" appear at the bottom of the screen. Occasional clickable sidelinks pop up as the news show goes on.]
[After their peppy opening, Shellee and Tammee look a little more serious than usual.]
Shellee: The United Planets is still reeling from a recent attack by two Brainiacs, the mysterious android Brainiac 8, who claimed to be from the future, and Brainiac 6, the alleged son of the Legion's own Brainiac 5.
Tammee: Kidnapping Brainiac 5 and turning him into a living computer and moving the planets Colu, Earth, and Robotica into a giant Brainiac symbol, the Brainiacs enacted a plan to take over the galaxy and reshape the universe into their image.
Shellee: The Brainiacs' release of a nanovirus on Colu led to hundreds of thousands of Coluans being converted to mindless mechanoforms. The resulting plague spread quickly over Colu leading to a widespread panic that resulted in 445 Coluans being killed.
[Video is shown of mechanoforms swarming through a Coluan street.]
[Click here for firsthand accounts of shocking tales of courage and barbarity during the mechanoform invasion.]
Tammee: A surprising and heroic intervention by Robotica is being credited for helping to contain the spread of the virus. Despite years of contention, Coluans and Roboticans were seen cooperating together against the nanovirus threat.
[A scene is shown of Robotican battle droids working together with the Coluan Home Defense Forces in a makeshift command station. Another scene is shown of Home Defense Forces and Roboticans fighting mechanoforms to defend fleeing Coluans.]
Shellee: And of course, the Legion of Superheroes are being hailed as heroes today for their own intervention. Legionnaires were seen cooperating with the united Robotican and Coluan forces to contain the mechanforms and help uninfected Coluans evacuate.
Tammee: Legionnaires Speedball and Ember were seen in the coastal city of Drr'kt, defending the population there while they awaited evacuation.
[Speedball is shown kicking off a wall to gain momentum to slam into the mechanoforms and Marjara is shown slamming her staff into the ground, causing chain lightning to shoot out from it and connect to the mechanoforms in a web.]
Shellee: Meanwhile, in Arzo City, Legionnaires Nova Prime, Doubletime, and Paper Boy, were seen creatively luring the mechanoforms into a trap to allow for the evacuation of several education creches.
[Video from a news drone shows Paper Boy on a building, face screwed up in intense concentration, rocking out to "Immigrant Song" by Led Zeppelin on his shamisen, which had been rigged to sound electric and had a device that enhanced the sound so it could heard for miles. Mechanoforms following the music poured into kill zones down in the streets below, and piled up like carpenter ants, trying to get a the fighters on the roof above. Roboticans, CHDF soldiers, and Legionnaires up top knock them off the buildings and keep destroying them over and over again every time they reform. Nova Prime can be seen blasting into a kill zone and each molten blast lights up the night sky to make it almost look like twilight. "Concentrate some pulse blasts at the base of the heap!" he calls out and some Roboticans comply, causing the mechanoform pile to collapse in on itself. As a few stray mechanoforms reach the top of the buildings, there's an orange blur that whips around, knocking them off the buildings. The blur turns into Grif when he stops to catch his breath.]
Tammee: What an exciting scene! Our heroes sure know how to fight with style!
Shellee: You said it, Tammee! The Legion sure takes the sentiment "go big or go home" seriously!
[The scene goes to Claire directing her T-Rex to attack mechanoforms, Rico racing away from a building as it explodes, and Vance shielding most of a building with his teke.]
Tammee: While we have no video footage of the event, we're told that Legionnaires Cortana, Widowmaker, Arbitraitor, Locksmith, and the - [She pauses, and manages to keep the smile plastered on her face despite how ridiculous her words sound] The Easter Bunny managed to infiltrate the Brainiacs' lair and incapacitate Brainiac 6 by removing his emotional inhibitor, and managed to neutralize Brainiac 8. Legion liasson Officer Shvaughn Erin has reported that both Legion leadership and the Science Police deemed the actions taken against Brainiac 8 to be protected under Legion protocol and the law as legal self defense and defense of others.
Shellee: According to Legion World sources, this defeat of the Brainiacs, combined with the actions of scientists on Legion world, led to a cure for the nanovirus that allowed all converted mechanoforms to organic and become restored. The Legion was then able to move Earth, Robotica, and Colu back to their proper places in the galaxy - minus the Lunar Debris Field around Earth.
Tammee: Looks like Earth's slimmed down!
Both: [Laughter.]
Shellee: Entrepreneur RJ Brande has already overseen the replacement of the debris field with an artificial construct to provide the gravitational pull Earth needs for important forces like the tide to keep working properly.
Tammee: Solar surfers can still catch some waves during high tide after all!
Shellee: Also, the oceans' ecosystems won't be irreparably damaged, either.
Tammee: As for Brainiac 6, according to Legion PR reps, he's been taken under the protection of the Legion, and Brainiac 5 has petitioned for emergency custody of the 2-year-old Coluan, claiming that his treatment by his former Colugov guardians to be abusive.
Shellee: Due to the alteration of his mind and his status as a minor, the police and courts have deemed the young Coluan as not responsible for his actions during the plot, despite the misgivings of some of the public.
Tammee: While the identity of Brainiac 6 has been impossible to protect due to the high profile of nature of the custody trial, in accordance with UP law, no video footage or artistic representations have been released due to his status as a minor. However, footage of parts of the custody trial that do not picture Brainiac 6 have been released to the public, per the UP's mandate of legal transparency.
[Click here for footage from the outrageous custody trial.]
Shellee: While some have criticized Brainiac 5's reaction, parent advocacy groups around the UP have been supportive of the Legionnaire, claiming that his reaction, while intimidating, is understandable due to the nature of the trial.
Tammee: The UP has indeed been rocked by the scandal unearthed by the discovery of Brainiac 6. Formal child charges of child abuse and neglect have been brought up for the abuse of Brainiac 6, and for alleged past abuse against Brainiac 5 that is still within the twenty-year statute of limitations, leading to the arrest of all current members and several past members of the Colugov Council. The Science Police have released a statement on the case, saying that video evidence has been unearthed supporting charges for both Coluans.
Shellee: They have also charged several Councilmembers and genetic scientists for accusations of reproductive theft, due to the unauthorized use of genetic material. The high prosecutor in charge of the case says maximum penalties are being sought for these felonies, which could result in imprisonment for up to 40% of the maximum baseline Coluan lifespan.
Tammee: These crimes by the Coluan Council, as well as the discovery of illegal bioweapons and other infractions of UP law on Colu have caused President Winema Wazzo to strongly condemn Colugov's actions and urge the UP Council to seek a full censure of the Coluan planetary government. President Wazzo had this to say.
[The scene goes to Madame Presidnet at a press conference.]
President Wazzo: The actions of the current Colugov administration, and of past administrations are clear violations of every principle the UP holds dear. The mistreatment of children is one of the most heinous acts possible, and the bioweapons and digital weapons found on Colu demonstrate a clear flaunting of UP law and moral principles, as well as possible intentions to attack the Roboticans, the very species that turned out to be Colu's salvation. My administration has urged the UP Council to censure Colugov. UP special investigators have already dispatched to Colu to investigate the nature of the entire Brainiac program, and to seek out how deep these infractions go. Representatives have also been sent to create a provisional government to rule in the place of the arrested Councilmembers.
[Arrested Councilmembers claim innocence, saying that the evidence against them has been forged by the Brainiacs. Click here to see top forensic analysts weigh in.]
Shellee: Full censure could lead to economic penalties levied against Colu, mandatory governmental reforms, and a dissolution of autonomous planetary rule for a period of up to five years.
Tammee: Indeed, Shellee. UPgov censure is no laughing matter.
Shellee: Despite the refusals of remaining government officials, the provisional government has agreed to allow the Roboticans to help rebuild in the aftermath of the disaster. While these officials have denounced this action, a trend of changing attitudes towards Robotica have been registered by the Coluan population.
[Coluan opinions polls register that a whopping 55% of Coluans see Robotica in a positive light after their help during the invasion, up from 7% pre-invasion. Click here for a more in-depth breakdown.]
Tammee: Robotican actions during the invasion have also led to widespread praise from the rest of the UP, including from several renowned Xanthan cultural leaders.
Shellee: In other invasion-related news, Legion reps have declared that another Herald of Chronoblivion was defeated by the Legion after he attacked Legion World during the chaos. So far, this marks the third Herald defeated by the Legion, but it is unknown how many remain.
Tammee: Still, any progress is still progress when it comes to the end of the world, right Shellee?
Shellee: Right, Tammee! The Legion's efforts show how committed they are to keeping us save from this omnicidal threat.
Tammee: However, due to the increasing progress against the Chronoblivion threat, and the defeat of the Brainiacs, there has been a rise in Catastrophist activity throughout the UP. Catastrophist propaganda sources say that the death cult has grown tired of the end of the world being thwarted by the Legion, and have urged its members to step up their activities.
[Click here for a profile on the suicide cult, and a retrospective on past Catastrophist attacks, including their attempts to revive the ancient supervillain Darkseid, once the enemy of Superman]
Shellee: Yesterday, clashes between civilians and Catastrophist protesters in New Metropolis on Earth led to 1 death and 14 sentients being hospitalized. The Science Police says they are now increasing the capacity of their anti-terrorism unit, and that they will be seeking the assistance of the Legion against this rising threat.
Shellee: The Science Police have urged the public to remain calm and report any unusual activity in public places to the authorities.
Tammee: In other news, the Legion is being credited for their actions on Takron Galtos during the Brainiac threat. According to Science Police sources the Legion trapped the cosmic entity known as the Spectre, who was rumored to have killed several individuals around the UP in unusual and grotesque ways.
Shellee: The Spectre reportedly attacked several inmates, but was stopped by the Legion before its attack on the prison led to widespread carnage. While ten inmates were killed by the time the Legion arrived, thousands of the other inmates were left unharmed.
[Grainy footage from a security camera in the facility shows a massive bloody battlefield, with a humanoid in a green hood looming over it. While the Flash makes whirlwinds that distract the Spectre, Nightwing hands the spear off to Garrus and then goes to distract the Spectre. Then Garrus is seen making a run for the Spectre, but an attack causes the spear to fly out of his hands. Sawtooth then picks it up and a prison starts to form, shaped like a pod, that sucks the Spectre in.]
Tammee: After the battle, the Legion is reported to have helped the prison guards suppress a prisoner revolt and restore order to the prison.
Shellee: And now, a word from our sponsors!
[It's an ad for a television show. Several female and female-identifying nerds of different species sit around a living room playing some kind of nerd game. A blond young male human is fretting over the cards in his hands.]
Blonde Human Man: I'm not sure I understand the instructions for this game.
Coluan Woman: Of course you don't, Lenny. They're not "shampoo, then rinse. Repeat if needed."
[Laugh track.]
[A nebbish-looking, red skinned Remuloid throws down her cards and puts her hands on her hips.]
Remuloid: Meldon, what is with you today?
Meldon: The point of a game is to win, isn't it? Part of that involves throwing the competition off their game. Meverite's constant! [She throws down a card.] Blogizno!
[Laugh track again.]
Titanian Woman: Hey I played the participation card.
Meldon: And I answered it. It's called teamwork.
Titanian: Don't you think I should answer the physics questions? I am a physicist!
Meldon: By that logic, I should answer all the anthropology questions because I'm a mammal. The objective of the competition is to give correct answers. If I know them, why shouldn't I give them?
Titanian: Some of us might have the correct answers, too.
Meldon: Impossible.
Titanian: [gets up and throws cards down.] Okay, that's it!
Remuloid: Sit down.
Titanian: Okay. [Sits down.]
[Laugh track]
Meldon: Besides, you only have have two PhDs.
Titanian: [Stands up again.]
[Laugh track.]
Announcer: Schrödinger's Equation! Hang out with Meldon and the gang every week night at 8 pm during the Too Much Comedy Power Hour, on MπC!
Meldon: Blogizno!
[Click here to watch all 4,593 past episodes!]
Shellee: And we're back! You're watching Legion Watch!
Tammee: In a breaking news update, the UP Council has just made a stunning Legion-related announcement. We're going to to Brivia Bliss, our correspondent on the scene!
[The shot changes to the press conference room of the UP Council. Brivia Bliss is a diminutive fairy-like Dryad, and the glam filters that give her a sparkly green appearance almost aren't necessary because she's sparkly to begin with. She perches on the back of a chair in the press conference room.]
Brivia: The UP Council has called a surprise press conference after undertaking some kind of secret referendum that they say is somehow involved with the Legion of Superheroes! The press has gathered to receive news of their sudden announcement.
[One of the two Council-people from Titan, an elderly woman with gray hair who wears the mark of Saturn on her headpiece, walks up to the podium. ]
Brivia: Jella Rilidan, one of the Council-members of Titan, seems to be making the announcement.
Jella: Recent events have caused the UP Council to reconsider some of our past decisions regarding the Legion of Superheroes. The ongoing threat of Chronoblivion, the arrest of several corrupt Councilmember collaborators, and the recent disturbances and discoveries on Colu, among many other conflicts, have demonstrated the need the United Planets has for the Legion of Superheroes. Our past votes on the Legion's recruitment practices were clearly tainted by criminal influences that were seeking to damage the Legion, and even those Councilmembers that truly wanted to protect young people from risking their lives in the organization were operating on the incorrect assumption that the missing Legionnaires were dead and that they had died at the hands of Brainiac 5, rather than from the sabotage by Chronoblivion's Heralds. Due to these events, and the unfairness of the ongoing sacrifice on the parts of the displacee Legionnaires, we decided to open a referendum vote on the Legion's recruiting status.
[She smiles at the assembled room.]
Jella: By majority vote, the Council has elected to remove the sanction against new recruitment. The Legion is no longer barred from taking in new members from the UP!
[The room explodes with voices as reporters start calling out questions. Brivia looks shocked at first and then beams at the camera.]
Brivia: What an amazing announcement! It appears that the longstanding sanction against new recruitment has now been lifted! But the future of the Legion is still uncertain. Many Legion cadets have now moved onto new opportunities, and with the Legion's current makeup so heavily skewed by the presence of otherworlders, one wonders how the Legion will cope with the sudden change. Back to you, Shellee!
Shellee: Thank you, Brivia. What a surprising turn of events! Like Brivia said, one wonders how this will change the lay of the land in regards to Legion membership.
Tammee: That's right, Shellee, that's certainly a gamechanger for a group that -
[There's the sounds of something banging offscreen.]
Shellee: What? what's --
[Blaster fire. Yells. A blaster falling out of someone's hand and clattering on the floor.]
[The two reporters stand up at their desk, expression concerned.]
Tammee: What's going on, what's going on? Who's that?
[A man in a brown hooded robe suddenly runs in frame and the two women scream. He's fortunately disarmed by now, but he still punches Shellee, causing her to fall back unconscious. Tammee screeches, rips the microphone off her desk, and hits him in the head with it over and over.]
Tammee: Gertrix! [Shellee's real name, whoops.]
[She tosses the mic at him, and while the attacker reels from her attack, she reaches down, tosses Shellee over her shoulder, like she weighs nothing, and starts running. She can still be heard yelling offscreen.]
Tammee: Security! Where's security?!
[The attacker turns to the camera instead of chasing after the two personalities. He's wearing the hooded robe of a Catastrophist.]
Catastrophist: Accept the Word. Embrace negation. Repent and go the way of flesh! The end is coming and not even the Legion one can stop it! The universe will be consumed by Chonoblivion's mercy, and the beginning of the end will be brought forth by the hands of the penitant! The fires will burn again on -
[He's suddenly tackled by several security guards, and the screen goes to a "Technical Difficulties, please stand by" message, and then suddenly reverts to a repeat of last night's Schrödinger's Equation.]
Meldon: Blogizno!
[ooc: Legionnaires can discuss things in the comments, as usual. This discussion will be visible to the team only, since it's comments on the feed on their private network.]
[The Legion World staff maintains a feed of all Legion-related media so Legionnaires can be kept abreast of any reporting that's done on them. Two women appear on the screen, sitting at a desk, their appearances altered by glam filters so that one is all pink hair and skin and sparkles, and the other is all in blues. They look pretty flashy and tacky but this is the future. Reporters don't exist anymore; they're "personalities" now. More serious news outlets have already reported on the Brainiacs; this is one of the fluffier retrospective programs that have aired.]
Shellee: I'm Shellee Star! [That would be the pink one.]
Tammee: And I'm Tammee Tim! [That would be the blue one.]
Together: And this is Legion Watch! [They say it in unison in the perkiest voices possible and a stylized graphic of the words "Legion Watch" appear at the bottom of the screen. Occasional clickable sidelinks pop up as the news show goes on.]
[After their peppy opening, Shellee and Tammee look a little more serious than usual.]
Shellee: The United Planets is still reeling from a recent attack by two Brainiacs, the mysterious android Brainiac 8, who claimed to be from the future, and Brainiac 6, the alleged son of the Legion's own Brainiac 5.
Tammee: Kidnapping Brainiac 5 and turning him into a living computer and moving the planets Colu, Earth, and Robotica into a giant Brainiac symbol, the Brainiacs enacted a plan to take over the galaxy and reshape the universe into their image.
Shellee: The Brainiacs' release of a nanovirus on Colu led to hundreds of thousands of Coluans being converted to mindless mechanoforms. The resulting plague spread quickly over Colu leading to a widespread panic that resulted in 445 Coluans being killed.
[Video is shown of mechanoforms swarming through a Coluan street.]
[Click here for firsthand accounts of shocking tales of courage and barbarity during the mechanoform invasion.]
Tammee: A surprising and heroic intervention by Robotica is being credited for helping to contain the spread of the virus. Despite years of contention, Coluans and Roboticans were seen cooperating together against the nanovirus threat.
[A scene is shown of Robotican battle droids working together with the Coluan Home Defense Forces in a makeshift command station. Another scene is shown of Home Defense Forces and Roboticans fighting mechanoforms to defend fleeing Coluans.]
Shellee: And of course, the Legion of Superheroes are being hailed as heroes today for their own intervention. Legionnaires were seen cooperating with the united Robotican and Coluan forces to contain the mechanforms and help uninfected Coluans evacuate.
Tammee: Legionnaires Speedball and Ember were seen in the coastal city of Drr'kt, defending the population there while they awaited evacuation.
[Speedball is shown kicking off a wall to gain momentum to slam into the mechanoforms and Marjara is shown slamming her staff into the ground, causing chain lightning to shoot out from it and connect to the mechanoforms in a web.]
Shellee: Meanwhile, in Arzo City, Legionnaires Nova Prime, Doubletime, and Paper Boy, were seen creatively luring the mechanoforms into a trap to allow for the evacuation of several education creches.
[Video from a news drone shows Paper Boy on a building, face screwed up in intense concentration, rocking out to "Immigrant Song" by Led Zeppelin on his shamisen, which had been rigged to sound electric and had a device that enhanced the sound so it could heard for miles. Mechanoforms following the music poured into kill zones down in the streets below, and piled up like carpenter ants, trying to get a the fighters on the roof above. Roboticans, CHDF soldiers, and Legionnaires up top knock them off the buildings and keep destroying them over and over again every time they reform. Nova Prime can be seen blasting into a kill zone and each molten blast lights up the night sky to make it almost look like twilight. "Concentrate some pulse blasts at the base of the heap!" he calls out and some Roboticans comply, causing the mechanoform pile to collapse in on itself. As a few stray mechanoforms reach the top of the buildings, there's an orange blur that whips around, knocking them off the buildings. The blur turns into Grif when he stops to catch his breath.]
Tammee: What an exciting scene! Our heroes sure know how to fight with style!
Shellee: You said it, Tammee! The Legion sure takes the sentiment "go big or go home" seriously!
[The scene goes to Claire directing her T-Rex to attack mechanoforms, Rico racing away from a building as it explodes, and Vance shielding most of a building with his teke.]
Tammee: While we have no video footage of the event, we're told that Legionnaires Cortana, Widowmaker, Arbitraitor, Locksmith, and the - [She pauses, and manages to keep the smile plastered on her face despite how ridiculous her words sound] The Easter Bunny managed to infiltrate the Brainiacs' lair and incapacitate Brainiac 6 by removing his emotional inhibitor, and managed to neutralize Brainiac 8. Legion liasson Officer Shvaughn Erin has reported that both Legion leadership and the Science Police deemed the actions taken against Brainiac 8 to be protected under Legion protocol and the law as legal self defense and defense of others.
Shellee: According to Legion World sources, this defeat of the Brainiacs, combined with the actions of scientists on Legion world, led to a cure for the nanovirus that allowed all converted mechanoforms to organic and become restored. The Legion was then able to move Earth, Robotica, and Colu back to their proper places in the galaxy - minus the Lunar Debris Field around Earth.
Tammee: Looks like Earth's slimmed down!
Both: [Laughter.]
Shellee: Entrepreneur RJ Brande has already overseen the replacement of the debris field with an artificial construct to provide the gravitational pull Earth needs for important forces like the tide to keep working properly.
Tammee: Solar surfers can still catch some waves during high tide after all!
Shellee: Also, the oceans' ecosystems won't be irreparably damaged, either.
Tammee: As for Brainiac 6, according to Legion PR reps, he's been taken under the protection of the Legion, and Brainiac 5 has petitioned for emergency custody of the 2-year-old Coluan, claiming that his treatment by his former Colugov guardians to be abusive.
Shellee: Due to the alteration of his mind and his status as a minor, the police and courts have deemed the young Coluan as not responsible for his actions during the plot, despite the misgivings of some of the public.
Tammee: While the identity of Brainiac 6 has been impossible to protect due to the high profile of nature of the custody trial, in accordance with UP law, no video footage or artistic representations have been released due to his status as a minor. However, footage of parts of the custody trial that do not picture Brainiac 6 have been released to the public, per the UP's mandate of legal transparency.
[Click here for footage from the outrageous custody trial.]
Shellee: While some have criticized Brainiac 5's reaction, parent advocacy groups around the UP have been supportive of the Legionnaire, claiming that his reaction, while intimidating, is understandable due to the nature of the trial.
Tammee: The UP has indeed been rocked by the scandal unearthed by the discovery of Brainiac 6. Formal child charges of child abuse and neglect have been brought up for the abuse of Brainiac 6, and for alleged past abuse against Brainiac 5 that is still within the twenty-year statute of limitations, leading to the arrest of all current members and several past members of the Colugov Council. The Science Police have released a statement on the case, saying that video evidence has been unearthed supporting charges for both Coluans.
Shellee: They have also charged several Councilmembers and genetic scientists for accusations of reproductive theft, due to the unauthorized use of genetic material. The high prosecutor in charge of the case says maximum penalties are being sought for these felonies, which could result in imprisonment for up to 40% of the maximum baseline Coluan lifespan.
Tammee: These crimes by the Coluan Council, as well as the discovery of illegal bioweapons and other infractions of UP law on Colu have caused President Winema Wazzo to strongly condemn Colugov's actions and urge the UP Council to seek a full censure of the Coluan planetary government. President Wazzo had this to say.
[The scene goes to Madame Presidnet at a press conference.]
President Wazzo: The actions of the current Colugov administration, and of past administrations are clear violations of every principle the UP holds dear. The mistreatment of children is one of the most heinous acts possible, and the bioweapons and digital weapons found on Colu demonstrate a clear flaunting of UP law and moral principles, as well as possible intentions to attack the Roboticans, the very species that turned out to be Colu's salvation. My administration has urged the UP Council to censure Colugov. UP special investigators have already dispatched to Colu to investigate the nature of the entire Brainiac program, and to seek out how deep these infractions go. Representatives have also been sent to create a provisional government to rule in the place of the arrested Councilmembers.
[Arrested Councilmembers claim innocence, saying that the evidence against them has been forged by the Brainiacs. Click here to see top forensic analysts weigh in.]
Shellee: Full censure could lead to economic penalties levied against Colu, mandatory governmental reforms, and a dissolution of autonomous planetary rule for a period of up to five years.
Tammee: Indeed, Shellee. UPgov censure is no laughing matter.
Shellee: Despite the refusals of remaining government officials, the provisional government has agreed to allow the Roboticans to help rebuild in the aftermath of the disaster. While these officials have denounced this action, a trend of changing attitudes towards Robotica have been registered by the Coluan population.
[Coluan opinions polls register that a whopping 55% of Coluans see Robotica in a positive light after their help during the invasion, up from 7% pre-invasion. Click here for a more in-depth breakdown.]
Tammee: Robotican actions during the invasion have also led to widespread praise from the rest of the UP, including from several renowned Xanthan cultural leaders.
Shellee: In other invasion-related news, Legion reps have declared that another Herald of Chronoblivion was defeated by the Legion after he attacked Legion World during the chaos. So far, this marks the third Herald defeated by the Legion, but it is unknown how many remain.
Tammee: Still, any progress is still progress when it comes to the end of the world, right Shellee?
Shellee: Right, Tammee! The Legion's efforts show how committed they are to keeping us save from this omnicidal threat.
Tammee: However, due to the increasing progress against the Chronoblivion threat, and the defeat of the Brainiacs, there has been a rise in Catastrophist activity throughout the UP. Catastrophist propaganda sources say that the death cult has grown tired of the end of the world being thwarted by the Legion, and have urged its members to step up their activities.
[Click here for a profile on the suicide cult, and a retrospective on past Catastrophist attacks, including their attempts to revive the ancient supervillain Darkseid, once the enemy of Superman]
Shellee: Yesterday, clashes between civilians and Catastrophist protesters in New Metropolis on Earth led to 1 death and 14 sentients being hospitalized. The Science Police says they are now increasing the capacity of their anti-terrorism unit, and that they will be seeking the assistance of the Legion against this rising threat.
Shellee: The Science Police have urged the public to remain calm and report any unusual activity in public places to the authorities.
Tammee: In other news, the Legion is being credited for their actions on Takron Galtos during the Brainiac threat. According to Science Police sources the Legion trapped the cosmic entity known as the Spectre, who was rumored to have killed several individuals around the UP in unusual and grotesque ways.
Shellee: The Spectre reportedly attacked several inmates, but was stopped by the Legion before its attack on the prison led to widespread carnage. While ten inmates were killed by the time the Legion arrived, thousands of the other inmates were left unharmed.
[Grainy footage from a security camera in the facility shows a massive bloody battlefield, with a humanoid in a green hood looming over it. While the Flash makes whirlwinds that distract the Spectre, Nightwing hands the spear off to Garrus and then goes to distract the Spectre. Then Garrus is seen making a run for the Spectre, but an attack causes the spear to fly out of his hands. Sawtooth then picks it up and a prison starts to form, shaped like a pod, that sucks the Spectre in.]
Tammee: After the battle, the Legion is reported to have helped the prison guards suppress a prisoner revolt and restore order to the prison.
Shellee: And now, a word from our sponsors!
[It's an ad for a television show. Several female and female-identifying nerds of different species sit around a living room playing some kind of nerd game. A blond young male human is fretting over the cards in his hands.]
Blonde Human Man: I'm not sure I understand the instructions for this game.
Coluan Woman: Of course you don't, Lenny. They're not "shampoo, then rinse. Repeat if needed."
[Laugh track.]
[A nebbish-looking, red skinned Remuloid throws down her cards and puts her hands on her hips.]
Remuloid: Meldon, what is with you today?
Meldon: The point of a game is to win, isn't it? Part of that involves throwing the competition off their game. Meverite's constant! [She throws down a card.] Blogizno!
[Laugh track again.]
Titanian Woman: Hey I played the participation card.
Meldon: And I answered it. It's called teamwork.
Titanian: Don't you think I should answer the physics questions? I am a physicist!
Meldon: By that logic, I should answer all the anthropology questions because I'm a mammal. The objective of the competition is to give correct answers. If I know them, why shouldn't I give them?
Titanian: Some of us might have the correct answers, too.
Meldon: Impossible.
Titanian: [gets up and throws cards down.] Okay, that's it!
Remuloid: Sit down.
Titanian: Okay. [Sits down.]
[Laugh track]
Meldon: Besides, you only have have two PhDs.
Titanian: [Stands up again.]
[Laugh track.]
Announcer: Schrödinger's Equation! Hang out with Meldon and the gang every week night at 8 pm during the Too Much Comedy Power Hour, on MπC!
Meldon: Blogizno!
[Click here to watch all 4,593 past episodes!]
Shellee: And we're back! You're watching Legion Watch!
Tammee: In a breaking news update, the UP Council has just made a stunning Legion-related announcement. We're going to to Brivia Bliss, our correspondent on the scene!
[The shot changes to the press conference room of the UP Council. Brivia Bliss is a diminutive fairy-like Dryad, and the glam filters that give her a sparkly green appearance almost aren't necessary because she's sparkly to begin with. She perches on the back of a chair in the press conference room.]
Brivia: The UP Council has called a surprise press conference after undertaking some kind of secret referendum that they say is somehow involved with the Legion of Superheroes! The press has gathered to receive news of their sudden announcement.
[One of the two Council-people from Titan, an elderly woman with gray hair who wears the mark of Saturn on her headpiece, walks up to the podium. ]
Brivia: Jella Rilidan, one of the Council-members of Titan, seems to be making the announcement.
Jella: Recent events have caused the UP Council to reconsider some of our past decisions regarding the Legion of Superheroes. The ongoing threat of Chronoblivion, the arrest of several corrupt Councilmember collaborators, and the recent disturbances and discoveries on Colu, among many other conflicts, have demonstrated the need the United Planets has for the Legion of Superheroes. Our past votes on the Legion's recruitment practices were clearly tainted by criminal influences that were seeking to damage the Legion, and even those Councilmembers that truly wanted to protect young people from risking their lives in the organization were operating on the incorrect assumption that the missing Legionnaires were dead and that they had died at the hands of Brainiac 5, rather than from the sabotage by Chronoblivion's Heralds. Due to these events, and the unfairness of the ongoing sacrifice on the parts of the displacee Legionnaires, we decided to open a referendum vote on the Legion's recruiting status.
[She smiles at the assembled room.]
Jella: By majority vote, the Council has elected to remove the sanction against new recruitment. The Legion is no longer barred from taking in new members from the UP!
[The room explodes with voices as reporters start calling out questions. Brivia looks shocked at first and then beams at the camera.]
Brivia: What an amazing announcement! It appears that the longstanding sanction against new recruitment has now been lifted! But the future of the Legion is still uncertain. Many Legion cadets have now moved onto new opportunities, and with the Legion's current makeup so heavily skewed by the presence of otherworlders, one wonders how the Legion will cope with the sudden change. Back to you, Shellee!
Shellee: Thank you, Brivia. What a surprising turn of events! Like Brivia said, one wonders how this will change the lay of the land in regards to Legion membership.
Tammee: That's right, Shellee, that's certainly a gamechanger for a group that -
[There's the sounds of something banging offscreen.]
Shellee: What? what's --
[Blaster fire. Yells. A blaster falling out of someone's hand and clattering on the floor.]
[The two reporters stand up at their desk, expression concerned.]
Tammee: What's going on, what's going on? Who's that?
[A man in a brown hooded robe suddenly runs in frame and the two women scream. He's fortunately disarmed by now, but he still punches Shellee, causing her to fall back unconscious. Tammee screeches, rips the microphone off her desk, and hits him in the head with it over and over.]
Tammee: Gertrix! [Shellee's real name, whoops.]
[She tosses the mic at him, and while the attacker reels from her attack, she reaches down, tosses Shellee over her shoulder, like she weighs nothing, and starts running. She can still be heard yelling offscreen.]
Tammee: Security! Where's security?!
[The attacker turns to the camera instead of chasing after the two personalities. He's wearing the hooded robe of a Catastrophist.]
Catastrophist: Accept the Word. Embrace negation. Repent and go the way of flesh! The end is coming and not even the Legion one can stop it! The universe will be consumed by Chonoblivion's mercy, and the beginning of the end will be brought forth by the hands of the penitant! The fires will burn again on -
[He's suddenly tackled by several security guards, and the screen goes to a "Technical Difficulties, please stand by" message, and then suddenly reverts to a repeat of last night's Schrödinger's Equation.]
Meldon: Blogizno!
[ooc: Legionnaires can discuss things in the comments, as usual. This discussion will be visible to the team only, since it's comments on the feed on their private network.]
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But if the Catastrophists are getting active again in general, we're going to have a sprocking mess on our hands.
I'm almost surprised they didn't start this up sooner, but it sounds like they assumed we wouldn't make this much progress against Chronoblivion and are disappointed we have.
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I'm glad she's okay.
Do you think they know anything? It seems strange, that they fade out of sight and come back now, after a Herald is neutralized.
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[She looks thoughtful.]
I'm worried about what he said. About the fires. They might be trying to do what they did before to end the world, but what I can't figure out is what they'd hope to accomplish with it.
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What did they do before?
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[Merl is hovering in a little pod in the background, playing with some holographic multidimensional puzzles Brainy designed for him.]
They threw themselves into the energy pits until there was enough of a blood sacrifice for Apokolips to burn once more. In doing so, they revived an ancient evil known as Darkseid, a god-like tyrant that kept his entire planet enslaved for eons.
[Brainy pulls of a view of Apokolips.]
According to the extant historical records, the planet was a living hell, shaped entirely in Darkseid's image, where the inhabitants were kept in a constant state of abject suffering and could only alleviate it by ascending the ranks of Darkseid's minions and becoming the tormentors of others themselves.
Darkseid was one of the greatest enemies of Superman, who was arguably one of the most powerful and influential Earth superheroes who ever lived - and despite Superman's power, Darkseid never fell, he only went dormant.
But even if Chronoblivion's forces could get past the garrison on Apokolips, I'm unsure what that would even accomplish. Darkseid is dead. After the Catastrophists revived him, he brought his past self forward in time to aid him in his efforts to destroy all of time and rule over the shielded remnants - and his past self betrayed and killed him. Then Kid Quantum and several others managed to push his past self 1000 years into the past where he belonged.
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[Merl says it without looking up from his toy.]
It doesn't matter who sits on Darkseid's throne; it just needs to be filled by someone powerful and omnicidal. Then they'll have throngs of suicidal imbeciles at their command - even those that were initially hesitant to be open about wanting the end of the world to come about.
If whoever takes the throne is clever enough to lie about offering sanctuary for their minions that do wish to survive the apocalypse, they'll gain even more followers. They can offer death for those that seek it from one hand, survival for those that seek it from the other.
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Kid Quantum, we need to increase security on Apokolips. I'm going to look into the protocols we have in place and see if we can find a way to T-gate it discretely from its current location to somewhere even more secure without having Sensor around to keep it cloaked.
[In the tones of a kindergarten teacher who is genuinely immensely proud of their charge learning to color within in the lines, he says:]
Very insightful, Merl.
[Behind, the boy looks up and visibly brightens. And then he pretends he didn't react because reacting isn't cool and goes back to his toy.]
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We need to start thinking strategy for dismantling the entire group.
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We can probably expect whoever takes the throne to be a Herald - they'd have to be stupid not to take advantage of this kind of opportunity, and sadly, that's one thing they're not.
How observant are the Catastrophists? Can we infiltrate?
[Screened to Brainy and Kid Q]
I'm sure this will be a popular idea, but...have we tried interrogating either of the Heralds we have in holding?
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permalocked to Wash and Brainy.
You say that like we haven't. Shvaughn and several other Science Police interrogators have had a crack at them. So has Timber Wolf, since he could give a master class in intimidation.
[Former gang leader, after all.]
They've just laughed off any of our attempts. And when we tried a holographic sting to make them think they'd gotten loose so they'd possibly reveal information, they saw right through it.
We even got a warrant to have Aven do a telepathic interrogation. No go. The Joker's mind is a complete mess and War's is a closed door.
The only option left is torture, which a) violates the law, Legion protocol, and every principle we hold dear, and b) might need even do anything except give them the tingles. Dr. Gym'll's done medscans and they don't even process stimuli like most sentients do. They don't even feel pain the way we do.
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[Permalock]
[Those are some very thoroughly covered bases. It's nice to be on a team that's consistently on top of things.]
I nearly took the Joker's hand off in our fight and he literally laughed it off. Torturing someone like that is a waste of time.
If it's all the same, I'd like to take a crack at him. Metaphorically. I speak fluent crazy, and I think he might react differently to someone who put him in a fridge. [He also has the added advantage of knowing the Joker as a fictional character, but that's a rabbit hole he doesn't want to go down in front of this world's natives.]
...I promise not to stab him in the eye. Or anywhere else.
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[That would have been very useful, okay.]
I'm cross-referencing historical records, but a whole lot of places have burned. Any chance we can get a copy of the interrogation from the SP? No way he doesn't brag about it.
[She can break in and get what she wants herself, but inter-service cooperation and whatnot, blah blah.]
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Look up Apokalips.
[It's locked down pretty heavily and has enough military force surrounding it to decimate solar systems without slowing down, but...]
There's got to be another connection. The Catastrophists were shattered after the last time. There's no way a cult like that could gather the numbers to challenge the Apokalips Garrison in just a few years. The Armaghetto alone has more Daxamites in it than almost any other planet short of Daxam itself.
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[Honestly, she's just making conversation while she does the background reading on Apokalips.
What the actual hell is wrong with this universe.]
...So what are the odds this Darkseid character pops back up as a Herald? We seem to be getting a bunch of other greatest hits from the last millennium.
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[No kidding. The only way is through a Boom Tube or a very specialized T-Gate. It's not just a matter of transportation, the New Gods were literal giants compared to everyone else. The Boom Tubes merely shrank or grew people to fit. In order to effectively explore and guard the planet, Brainy had to figure out a way to cause alterations like that with the Threshold Gates.]
Having met Darkseid, I think it's impossible that he'd bend a knee to anyone else. Including himself. That doesn't mean it's not another New God.
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[Cortana shrugs.]
I can tweak my datamining algorithms to weight religious overtones more heavily, but I'm getting close to the point where I'll start misidentifying noise as signal.
[People and societies are weird and chaotic by nature, and sometimes things that look significant are just coincidence.]
It might be a good idea to have a Titanian or six sweep the Apokalips garrison. If they're too much for a stand-up fight, that means any half-bright opponent is gonna cheat. Look for the person who's just come back from leave and been mind-controlled to swap out the sugar packets for lead acetate ones.
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[He's not exactly fond of cultists either - more from principle than experience. But, he'd like to be involved in some way.]
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Stopping a bunch of violent religious fanatics cold is a public service in its own right, but I do wonder to what degree they're a sideshow rather than the main attraction. If you're an unknowable cosmic evil bent on destroying reality and you've got a bunch of loud nutcases already busy trying to blow up the universe, you might as well use them as a distraction while you go about your business.
[What if they have two potential Judgement Days to worry about? Cortana is such an optimist.]
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[A pretty damn realistic one if you ask him.]
So. Where do we start?
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[Also assuming the other Legionnaires don't come down with an inconvenient case of due process-itis and get in the way of Cortana being nosy.]
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[JEEZ GARRUS YOU'RE MAKING HER LOOK BAD.]
I don't see why the Science Police would object to the Legion sitting in on an interrogation, Officer Erin.
[The one time she's legitimately not planning anything shady.]
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[Garrus assures her.]
Just making sure we have the bases covered and we've got a place to start looking for his friends before they make another attack. I think that's in the interests of both the Legion and the Science Police.
[private]
Does the turian language not contain a word for "subtlety?"
[private]
Sorry. Side effect of working for someone with total operational freedom is that you don't really have to hide anything.
[Within reason, of course, but under Shepard's authority nobody would have batted an eyelash at them visiting a prisoner. One of many things he needs to get used to again.]
[private]
[What happens when there's a regime change and the new boss decides it's time for the airing of the grievances?]
[private]
It won't happen again. Believe it or not, I can be discrete when the situation calls for it.
[Not that you'd know it looking at his time with Shepard, but he's had to conduct an investigation or two that required sensitive handling. Subtlety isn't his strongest suit, but he's capable of it.]
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If there's a chance it could lead to taking down more of the organization, they might cooperate and it'll be a lot easier to do this without them interfering.