thelegion | [video]

[Somebody's kid got hold of an omnicomm...or at least that's the logical assumption, until the small human girl in the video starts speaking.]

Hi, I'm Valeria Richards. Since everything's still a mess from the latest supervillain attack, I'm going to be picking up some of Mr. Brainy's [yes she absolutely just called him that] workload to help stuff get back to what passes for normal.

[Did she check with Brainy before announcing this? Well, unless he shows up to contradict her, can you prove she didn't?

Val recognizes that being betrayed, discovering you have a kid you never knew about, and then being assimilated by your evil borg queen great-grandchild is going to knock anyone for a loop and she really is trying to help. It's just that her social skills are questionable at best when the scenario isn't "lying to get out of trouble."]

I'm not entirely up to speed on this reality's physics yet, so don't ask me to alter any universal constants before next week sometime. [Unless she has the best poker face known to science, that does not appear to be a joke.] Anything else, no problem.

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[His first reaction is to sincerely hope that even the Legion realizes that there's a problem recruiting this young. Because he hasn't exactly spent a lot of time around human children, but there's no way this one is older than five.

[Then again, he's never heard a child say the words "universal constraints" before either, so maybe there's something more going on here. Certainly wouldn't be the first time.]

Does he know that?

[Seems like a pretty valid question in his mind. There's an certain drawn-out quality to his words - like he's not quite sure how to talk to her. Super-intelligent kids are a new one for him.

[Or super-intelligent people who just happen to look like kids, because he's not sure and in this place that's a genuine possibility.]

[She shows no reaction to Garrus's appearance, having already read the personnel files.]

Ugh. It is impossible to do you people a favor.

[It's not an answer, but Val might respond with that much exasperation even if she had asked.]

[He blinks.

[Rude, and that did absolutely nothing to answer any of his questions. But, at least she didn't freak out on him like the last new arrival he talked to.]

I'm sure he's grateful for a hand, but from my limited exposure to the guy he's pretty hands on. You understand.

[He's trying to sound completely on-the-level, but he can't quite manage it all the way considering he's talking to a child, and he's never exactly been the best at subtlety.]

[Val's perceptive enough to read a turian on thirty seconds' acquaintance, especially since Garrus's voice is plenty expressive.]

Don't humor me, Mr. Vakarian. I missed my nap today.

[She's a kid on the edge.]

[...

[How did his life get to this point? Really?

[He just sighs, lets his shoulders sag, shakes his head, and looks back into the camera.]

Honestly, I'm ready to deal with just about anything at this point. Whatever your story is, just give it to me straight.

My story? The same as everyone else's. I had the intelligence before I arrived, so I'm fully capable of managing multiple cognitive tracks and all that advanced neural processing stuff, and I was already an expert in mathematics, engineering, and the hard sciences.

[It sounds more like reeling off a lunch order at the drive-through than bragging.

Val shrugs.]

My whole family is supers so it's not like this is a change of pace. I don't like to sit idle, and we can't afford it, anyway.

[Oh yeah, the thing that always comes up.]

And yes, I'm three. Yes, I'm human. Yes, my intellectual development is extremely unusual for a three-year-old human. It's hereditary.

Alright. [He says flatly.] I can work with that.

[Is it still weird to him? Yes. But he's been backhanded by something claiming to be the Wrath of God in the past week. Once he's reminded himself of that fact, he's ready to just take this in stride.]

[Deadpan:] So glad to hear it.

[Don't get in her way, buddy.]