thelegion | [video]

[Somebody's kid got hold of an omnicomm...or at least that's the logical assumption, until the small human girl in the video starts speaking.]

Hi, I'm Valeria Richards. Since everything's still a mess from the latest supervillain attack, I'm going to be picking up some of Mr. Brainy's [yes she absolutely just called him that] workload to help stuff get back to what passes for normal.

[Did she check with Brainy before announcing this? Well, unless he shows up to contradict her, can you prove she didn't?

Val recognizes that being betrayed, discovering you have a kid you never knew about, and then being assimilated by your evil borg queen great-grandchild is going to knock anyone for a loop and she really is trying to help. It's just that her social skills are questionable at best when the scenario isn't "lying to get out of trouble."]

I'm not entirely up to speed on this reality's physics yet, so don't ask me to alter any universal constants before next week sometime. [Unless she has the best poker face known to science, that does not appear to be a joke.] Anything else, no problem.

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[Val's perceptive enough to read a turian on thirty seconds' acquaintance, especially since Garrus's voice is plenty expressive.]

Don't humor me, Mr. Vakarian. I missed my nap today.

[She's a kid on the edge.]

[...

[How did his life get to this point? Really?

[He just sighs, lets his shoulders sag, shakes his head, and looks back into the camera.]

Honestly, I'm ready to deal with just about anything at this point. Whatever your story is, just give it to me straight.

My story? The same as everyone else's. I had the intelligence before I arrived, so I'm fully capable of managing multiple cognitive tracks and all that advanced neural processing stuff, and I was already an expert in mathematics, engineering, and the hard sciences.

[It sounds more like reeling off a lunch order at the drive-through than bragging.

Val shrugs.]

My whole family is supers so it's not like this is a change of pace. I don't like to sit idle, and we can't afford it, anyway.

[Oh yeah, the thing that always comes up.]

And yes, I'm three. Yes, I'm human. Yes, my intellectual development is extremely unusual for a three-year-old human. It's hereditary.

Alright. [He says flatly.] I can work with that.

[Is it still weird to him? Yes. But he's been backhanded by something claiming to be the Wrath of God in the past week. Once he's reminded himself of that fact, he's ready to just take this in stride.]

[Deadpan:] So glad to hear it.

[Don't get in her way, buddy.]