thelegion | Video

[This day had to come eventually, didn't it? Just another one of those damn Blood Gulch Sim Troops arriving here to crash the party, and predictability a little late like always. But hey, it wasn't like he hadn't been busy saving a planet or being blissfully retired or anything equally as important. Nope.

The video shifted a little as Tucker tried to set it upright, but it soon found itself quickly propped at an angle that said this wasn't his first time recording himself; the purpose of such skills would be left up to the viewer to guess at their own discretion. But hey, have Tucker with that beautiful aqua colored armor looking right back at you, even as he sat back down and tried to appear relaxed, cool, okay with ...well, all this. All this.

Ladies in hot tight superhero outfits definitely helped.]

So, yeah, Tucker here. [It felt like an interview with Dylan. Good thing talking about himself was one of his favorite things to do.] Please try to contain your applause, but ladies, feel free to toss your bras in my general direction.

[No shame, this one.]

You know, I was kind of busy back home. [With Church shit. It was always Church shit, and there wasn't a single damn regret for it; in a way, he hoped it kept being Church shit because that meant that bastard was still around. Tucker wanted to be back there, needed to be back there because--] Those idiots - my idiots - have no one to lead them now unless you count Sarge and no one counts Sarge. Shit, I don't even think the Reds count Sarge. Okay, so maybe Simmons does, but whatever.

[He sighed, rubbing his hand over his helmet before he just waved his hand.] But cool, superpowers, am I right? I mean, if I was getting chicks before, I'm getting triple chicks now.

[Let the record show that he was not, in fact, getting ladies before, and that the triple of "zero" is still "zero".]

Look, I just want to get this shit done and over with so I can get back to being a badass back home and get my shit done. So, you know, I'll do what I have to, I guess.

[There's a sigh, that burden of few choices and responsibility - ew - before he cocked is head up.]

Hey, important final question: where do all the hotties hang out around here? There's the title of wingman up for grabs if you tell me.

[At least the video ends there, and everyone was probably better for it.]

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[ Okay, Raynor's actually laughing at that. Because he can absolutely relate to being attracted to women that can kick his ass. ]

Fair enough. A lot of the women here are definitely the type that could kill you or me.

But no, I haven't joined the Legion. I'm sure I'll get around to it eventually, but I have my own reasons for holding out right now.

[Let's be real: Tucker was the type that needed a girl that could put him in his place every once in awhile, especially with a mouth like that. It was just his perk that he actually kinda liked that.

But the grouchy guy was laughing, which loosened things up a bit. Smirking, he nodded.] Yeah, people are warning me. I think I've been grounded from one already and I've only been talking for, like, five minutes. She was totally into it, too!

[Wash, ever the cockblocker.]

Personal reasons, I'm guessing?

Let's just say I have experience with something similar, and it didn't end well.

[ Granted, comparing the Sons of Korhal with the Legion felt more and more unfair as time went on. Mengsk was a smooth-talking monster who knew the right thing to say, and knew how to frame everything under a good light, even genocide. The Legion's worst mistake, meanwhile, was not warning him that whiskey made with his mind would make him throw up.

Really not the same. ]

I get a good vibe from these guys, though. And once I see 'em in action, I'll probably change my mind and pick up a codename.

[ He pulls a cigarette out of his sleeve, and lights it. ]

So, tell me. [ He pulls the cigarette to his lips for a moment, before puffing out smoke. ] How'd you do on the superpower lottery?