thelegion | Video

[This day had to come eventually, didn't it? Just another one of those damn Blood Gulch Sim Troops arriving here to crash the party, and predictability a little late like always. But hey, it wasn't like he hadn't been busy saving a planet or being blissfully retired or anything equally as important. Nope.

The video shifted a little as Tucker tried to set it upright, but it soon found itself quickly propped at an angle that said this wasn't his first time recording himself; the purpose of such skills would be left up to the viewer to guess at their own discretion. But hey, have Tucker with that beautiful aqua colored armor looking right back at you, even as he sat back down and tried to appear relaxed, cool, okay with ...well, all this. All this.

Ladies in hot tight superhero outfits definitely helped.]

So, yeah, Tucker here. [It felt like an interview with Dylan. Good thing talking about himself was one of his favorite things to do.] Please try to contain your applause, but ladies, feel free to toss your bras in my general direction.

[No shame, this one.]

You know, I was kind of busy back home. [With Church shit. It was always Church shit, and there wasn't a single damn regret for it; in a way, he hoped it kept being Church shit because that meant that bastard was still around. Tucker wanted to be back there, needed to be back there because--] Those idiots - my idiots - have no one to lead them now unless you count Sarge and no one counts Sarge. Shit, I don't even think the Reds count Sarge. Okay, so maybe Simmons does, but whatever.

[He sighed, rubbing his hand over his helmet before he just waved his hand.] But cool, superpowers, am I right? I mean, if I was getting chicks before, I'm getting triple chicks now.

[Let the record show that he was not, in fact, getting ladies before, and that the triple of "zero" is still "zero".]

Look, I just want to get this shit done and over with so I can get back to being a badass back home and get my shit done. So, you know, I'll do what I have to, I guess.

[There's a sigh, that burden of few choices and responsibility - ew - before he cocked is head up.]

Hey, important final question: where do all the hotties hang out around here? There's the title of wingman up for grabs if you tell me.

[At least the video ends there, and everyone was probably better for it.]

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[Widowmaker got a certain look in her eyes, a flicker in her cool gaze, that would set off warning bells to those that knew her well. It was like a predator having scented blood on the wind.]

That can be arranged.

[Well, that wasn't ominous at all.

But hey, behind his helmet, there was a smile, if not slightly skeptical.]

I think I'm going to like making arrangements with you.

['Come into my parlor,' said the spider to the fly.]

A lady does not make arrangements with a suit of armor. Do you have a face underneath that helmet? It is only fair, considering how much of me you wish to see.

[Look, it was going to happen eventually, with Tucker's need to sleep naked, which made for uncomfortable passing in the hallways at three a.m. for the bathroom. But he also knew that not giving into a woman's request totally built suspense and made them want it more. Scientific fact. After all, they did call him Professor Fuc--]

Oh, I've got a face but it's reserved for dates with platekinis.

[Tucker no.]

We already established my lack of one of those.

[She raised her eyebrows, as they had already decided a platekini was impractical.]

I do not care much for voyeurs, Monsieur Tucker. And fully in your armor, that is all you will be. It must get a bit... uncomfortable from time to time.

Hey, I wasn't being picky; I just meant Robbie's version of it.

[Voyeur, huh? He'd been called worse.]

Trust me, after this long I've gotten used to it. [Oh, and his smug little smirk was so clearly audible when he spoke.]

You totally want to see me naked, don't you? Can't blame you; war heroes have that affect on the ladies.

I did idolize such heroes as a child. Then I got older and realized a man is just a man, regardless of their role in war. Some men are just more appealing than others.

[Artfully dodging answering that question directly. A man was certainly vulnerable when bearing it all...]

[She wasn't exactly wrong, and he wasn't going to argue. Sure, he was front-lines-leadership-role-fighting, but that wasn't that different then the kid lieutenants that he knew were dying back on the surface. They were all important.]

So, what kind of man do you find appealing, then?

[Please don't say a dead one.]

[Oddly, a hint of a real smile touched her lips. What kind of man did she like?]

An insufferable one.

[Gérard has been so insufferable when they first met. So persistent. But he did it with class. Tucker was not remotely as smooth as her late husband had been.]

[Insufferable, huh? That was pretty much Tucker's M.O..

But class? Class was a completely different story. ]

Then lady, you're in luck because it seems like I'm just your type.

Perhaps. [She smirked.] We shall have to see how you endure the cold.

Take your helmet off.

Kinda like it better when it's hot. [Months alone in a desert could do that to a person. Sidewinder had sucked after that, with a body that hadn't gotten acclimated to weather changes, but he had survived. Cold, sure, but survived.

He sighed, and damn was she insistent on it. Eventually they all would see what he looked like, but--]

If I take off something I'm wearing, will you take off something of yours?

[What? That's fair, right?]

[He was lucky she had this in hand or things might have gone differently. She was going to play nice for now.]

Oui. I will remove something in response. It is important to see a man's eyes. They are the window to the soul, Non?

[There was nothing more beguiling than a person who could speak another language. French? French was the language of love, and he was fluent.

...Okay, he was fluent in French Kissing, but that was totally close enough.]

Gonna warn you that you might want to climb in through these windows.

[Fingers worked open the fasteners, pulling off the helmet. He smiled and nodded with a little brow arch, deep brown eyes sparkling in the light. This was your self-appointed ladies man in all his non-existent glory.]

Try to contain your gasps of awe, baby.

[Hm. Better than she was expecting. Just enough that he was the kind of man that would be excited to have someone when her beauty interested but not wonder if it was too good to be true.]

It takes quite a bit to make me gasp in awe. I do hope you are up to the challenge. And as promised...

[Her hand moved to her chest, pausing just the faintest before she trailed her fingers up her neck to the apparent 'sunglasses' perched on her head. She drew them back and off, removing them, but also making sure to pull off the tie holding her hair back as well, freeing all that hair of hers to fall about her shoulders. Fair was fair; he removed his helmet, she removed her visor.]

[There was the old adage, "Keep them wanting more". You know what sucked?

That. That sucked. But god, did she have him thinking now. Damn. Damn.]

Oh, I can make you gasp. And moan. And scream.

[There was a waggle of his eyebrow, but he smirked and shrugged.]

But apparently, my totally repressed "dad" is grounding me, so I'll just have to show you another time. Sorry. [He gave a two finger salute, laughing a little.]

But between us, I'm still gunning for a date.

He cannot be everywhere. Come find me when you are feeling adventurous. I am not hard to find... when I want to be found.

[She ran a hand through her hair, finger-combing out the tangles.] And you I want to find me. Adieu, cherie.