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[lovernotafighter]

[This day had to come eventually, didn't it? Just another one of those damn Blood Gulch Sim Troops arriving here to crash the party, and predictability a little late like always. But hey, it wasn't like he hadn't been busy saving a planet or being blissfully retired or anything equally as important. Nope.

The video shifted a little as Tucker tried to set it upright, but it soon found itself quickly propped at an angle that said this wasn't his first time recording himself; the purpose of such skills would be left up to the viewer to guess at their own discretion. But hey, have Tucker with that beautiful aqua colored armor looking right back at you, even as he sat back down and tried to appear relaxed, cool, okay with ...well, all this. All this.

Ladies in hot tight superhero outfits definitely helped.]

So, yeah, Tucker here. [It felt like an interview with Dylan. Good thing talking about himself was one of his favorite things to do.] Please try to contain your applause, but ladies, feel free to toss your bras in my general direction.

[No shame, this one.]

You know, I was kind of busy back home. [With Church shit. It was always Church shit, and there wasn't a single damn regret for it; in a way, he hoped it kept being Church shit because that meant that bastard was still around. Tucker wanted to be back there, needed to be back there because--] Those idiots - my idiots - have no one to lead them now unless you count Sarge and no one counts Sarge. Shit, I don't even think the Reds count Sarge. Okay, so maybe Simmons does, but whatever.

[He sighed, rubbing his hand over his helmet before he just waved his hand.] But cool, superpowers, am I right? I mean, if I was getting chicks before, I'm getting triple chicks now.

[Let the record show that he was not, in fact, getting ladies before, and that the triple of "zero" is still "zero".]

Look, I just want to get this shit done and over with so I can get back to being a badass back home and get my shit done. So, you know, I'll do what I have to, I guess.

[There's a sigh, that burden of few choices and responsibility - ew - before he cocked is head up.]

Hey, important final question: where do all the hotties hang out around here? There's the title of wingman up for grabs if you tell me.

[At least the video ends there, and everyone was probably better for it.]

Comments

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[iamresponding]

[The man that replies has a faded vertical scar down the right side of his face.]

Hell, I'm not even from your world and I don't count Sarge.

[He waves a hand vaguely and there's a glint of metal because it's a robotic prosthetic.]

There was this alien hivemind that linked up some of our brains once and I saw one of Grif's memories -- you were in it. It was the bit where that idiot wanted you and your friends to line up in single file to get shot at, and then he suggested shooting Grif out of a cannon.

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[lovernotafighter]

[Tucker opened his mouth to ask if Sarge was here - because who wanted that headache, really? – but then quickly shut it. Hivemind brain linkup sounded like Star Trek shit (TV show, not reboot movies, not that it really mattered to Tucker), and then came the more important question of all:]

Does shit like that happen a lot?

[Because some things were better left…quiet. Unknown. Viewable only to himself.

But really, this guy saw that? It took a minute to drag up the memory itself; it was fuzzy at best because so much shit had happened it was difficult to keep track of it all. Blood Gulch felt like so long ago, but it was still his favori—second favorite place. The moon he just left was pretty damn cool, too.]

Yeah, if Sarge didn’t want to use Grif as ammo, he wanted to use him as target practice for ammo. I mean, whatever, their team is crazy and pretty much about as ineffective as you can get, so it just made my job easier. [Says the guy that gave birth to an alien son and has a fellow Blue Team member who had a keyboard shortcut CTRL+F+U based solely for his team kills. But sure, he was on the “normal” side.]

Re: video

[iamresponding]

Constantly. It happens constantly. Welcome to superheroing.

[As for the rest, his smile fades a little.]

God, with a CO like that, no wonder Grif talks about home like he'd chew his own leg off to escape it.

[He shrugs the thought away.]

In any case, you don't have to worry about that kind of nonsense here. Anyone that ever winds up in charge understands you don't use your own troops for target practice.

[A pause.]

You do have to worry about mind control, giant men with stupid hats that eat planets, and killer clowns. For that last one, we've had a few separate and distinct varieties.

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[lovernotafighter]

Damn, and I thought the stuff back home was annoying.

[Thank God for helmets, because Tucker was frowning at that, the words ticking the little things inside of him. Damn, okay, yeah, he got it; if he was on Red Team, he'd try to peace out, too, but it--]

Dude, Sarge is annoying, don't get me wrong, but he's not that bad. He's just a crazy old guy who needs something to do or else he gets crazier. Sometimes that "something" is fighting gravity or the darkness or whatever, sometimes it's finding new ways to hypothetically kill Grif. We all have our hobbies.

[You didn't hear Sarge at the end. You don't know.]

Um, I don't know whether to be happy about that or not; I think we're all a little comfortable in nonsense because it makes it feel more homey. But hey, less headaches for me; I'm a pretty badass leader, and not having to deal with people like Sarge makes my life waaay easier.

[Because yes, people trusted him to lead teams. Tucker. Leading people. Wash trusted Tucker to lead people. What had his world come to?]

...Or not. What the fuck, do we live in a goddamn Stephen King book on meth?

Re: video

[iamresponding]

[At "he's not that bad" Rich just raises an eyebrow, because he's been a CO and motivating his troops via voicing his hopes that they'd die horribly hadn't really been standard operating procedure. Sure, this Sarge guy might have his good points, buuuut it doesn't stop the judgement.]

[But he lets it go. A glimpse into one memory isn't enough for him to have the right to nose in.]

[That means he focuses on the Stephen King thing and terrifyingly enough, the answer is yes.]

Yeah, that's about the size of it. This evil sorceress made a bunch of books and movies into little bubbles of reality we had to escape. So me and my friend Robbie got turned into little kids -- sans powers, natch -- and had to fight Pennywise the clown. Like, for real.

[whyarewehere]

Wait, you actually remember that?

[ Grif just showed it to Rich in an effort to haul him out of that self-deprecating... thing Rich was doing at the time. He hadn't expected it to stick in the guy's head at all. It's a pretty normal scene from the life of Grif. ]

[iamresponding]

Of course I did, your idiot CO was talking about turning you into a smear on the wall.

[A pause.]

Also, weird psychic nonsense happens a lot in my world. Non-telepaths can't always be immune to it but we do at least get used to it.

[He's used to working through the brain fuzz those kind of encounters muddle things with.]

[whyarewehere]

I'm not one to agree with things Tucker says usually, but he's right. That was pretty much every day?

[ It's no big deal. Really. Really really. ]

I mean it sucked, but so does everything. The telepathy thing was definitely weirder, as far as things-that-happen-to-me go.

[ He shrugs. ]

[iamresponding]

Grif, I say this as a CO who quite frequently had to toss his men at things that desperately wanted to kill them -- it's not normal to do that and actually want them to die.

[It's a little freaky, the way Grif just waves it off as some mundane thing, having someone that was supposed to be responsible for keeping him alive always wanting him dead.]

That shouldn't have been "every day." That's not normal. The way things are here every day, where people don't even joke about getting you killed because the idea of it isn't really funny, that's what's normal.

[whyarewehere]

I'm not saying it was normal for everyone, just normal for me.

[ He's honestly a little taken aback by the insistence here. ]

Relax. I obviously didn't die. And considering the man tried for like three years, I think that should tell you everything you need to know about Sarge's effectiveness at like... anything. At all.

[iamresponding]

[Wow.]

Wow.

A) There isn't a special state of crappy you should have to put up with just by virtue of being you. B) Three goddamn years?

Which leads to c) Naaah. I'm just going to sit here in my corner filled with very professional judgement. Deal with it.

[whyarewehere]

[ What even is this? Why is it happening to him? He's being pep-talked or something and Rich is giving way too many shits and this is absolutely horrible. ]

Alright, whatever makes you happy.

[ Which is to say he's going to deal with it by moving on and letting it drop. That's how you handle it when someone is doing... whatever this is, right? ]