thelegion | [video] With Great Power Comes Great Irresponsibility

[ Grif is in high spirits today. He seems to actually be in one of the training rooms for once, which makes that a lot weirder. ]

Hey guys. There are a bunch of weirdos running around and it's been a while since we talked about powers. So guess what we're going to do today?

[ 'We' because he expects participation, dammit! ]

And because I'm feeling generous, I'll start. Guess who learned a new thing?

[ He points at himself with both thumbs and backs up, revealing a line of targets. He steps back, lines up his shoulder with them, and winds up his arm like a softball pitcher. He doesn't stop. Grif's arm blurs as he speeds up, and finally the force of the moving air is enough to tip over the nearest target. But only the nearest one. He stops, gestures at it with definite pride, and continues. ]

So let's talk about your powers because we already know mine are pretty awesome.

[ Of course they are, Grif. ]

Has anybody else figured out anything cool? And if you're new: I'm Grif and this is basically my job around here. Tell me what you got, because I'm still way disappointed about the lack of eye lasers we got going on on this team. I could read profiles, but who has time for that crap?

If I know you already... I don't know. Injury status report? What did you have for lunch? I'm just bored, okay?

((( This is a free for all mingle post! Grif will reply to everyone who responds, but if you want to have a character jump into a conversation with anybody you are absolutely welcome and, in fact, encouraged. Feel free to have characters ignore the point, talk about other things, etc etc. Threads are assumed to be public unless you mark them otherwise. This is set after the Ambush of TTHS but the Investigation is still ongoing. )))

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[ Robbie had intended to swirl around in his chair to reveal him petting his orange tabby cat like a movie villain. Unfortunately, he's having a problem keeping Niels from tapping his toe beans on the omnicom.

Tiny energy bubbles drift around the edges of the screen. ]

Grif, huh? I'm gonna go ahead and call you Grief.

Too late, that Reaper guy already beat me to having the edgiest name.

Where'd you find the cat?

I'm waiting for someone who cuts to the chase and call himself Testosterone Man. Why be subtle?

[ He picks Niels up higher, and he tilts the cat side to side in a little dance. ]

I didn't find him. He found me again. He eats a lot of homing pigeons.

You're going to have to teach him to be a vegan. Or however they do cats here. Good luck with that, buddy.

Speaking from experience here, they're not going to make the cat eat vegan food. If an animal needs actual meat to survive, they'll bring in meat. They've been shipping in fresh fish for Toothless the entire time we've been here.

What? Really?!

You mean I could've just told them my species needs meat or whatever and I'd be fine?

[ WHY DIDN'T HE KNOW THIS?! ]

Up until they got a look at your teeth and realized you were actually an omnivore.

[Hiccup's been watching science shows during his downtime.]

Toothless gets a pass because he can't eat anything but fish. Possibly also sheep and yaks, but given the option he defaults to fish.

How do they know I don't need meat to survive? This is affecting my quality of life!

You've been here for months and haven't died of starvation yet. The evidence you don't need meat to survive is looking fairly solid right now.

That doesn't mean I'm surviving happily.

He'll eat when he gets hungry enough. Won't you, buddy?

[ Though Robbie is making the appropriate pet-talk baby-voice and scratching Niels on the neck how he likes, he looks dubious. The cat rarely does what Robbie wants, and he's always been a picky eater. ]

Hey - that alien race of cats with ray guns, do they exist in this universe and are they in the U.P.? I really don't want Niels to cause an intergalactic incident again.

...If they do, I haven't seen them.

[ Cat aliens with ray guns. He's not sure if that would be adorable or terrifying. ]

What, did he meow and accidentally insult their ambassador or something?

In hindsight, I think they were concerned that I was holding him prisoner?

[ Both! It was definitely both, moreso because Robbie was very new to the hero thing at the time. ]

But I don't speak alien cat. I don't even speak Earth cat - I just make good guesses sometimes. Incidentally, space cats still like the same things Earth cats do.

...If you're not about to tell me you solved it by getting them all high on catnip, I'm gonna have to give you some constructive criticism and say the story would be way better if you solved it by getting them all high with catnip.

I don't advocate getting aliens high.

[ But he totally got those space kitties high. ]

There was definitely catnip involved. And warm milk.

I'm so proud.

You have a cat?

[Look who likes cats. Like, a lot.]

I have a cat!

[ He sounds ludicrously happy about this development. So happy his IQ is dropping. ]

His name is Niels, and he hasn't eaten any space mice yet.

Did he come here with you, or did you get him here?

[Priorities.]

Both? I've had him since I was fifteen. He just turned up a few days late.

It's definitely Niels though. He's unique.

[He nods. That makes sense.]

Unique how?

[ My cat has superpowers is still a strange thing to explain, although sharp eyes might notice the occasional light show is centered around the cat. ]

When no one's looking, he does a killer cakewalk.

[Sharp eyes have noticed, though Wash figures there's a reason Robbie isn't saying anything about it yet. Or it's a side effect of Robbie's powers. Or something.]

Let me guess: he's also famous on YouTube for playing a keyboard.

I don't have a keyboard.

However, DJ Nizzy Niels has had moderate success!

[video] With Great Power Comes Great Irresponsibility

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