thelegion | (no subject)

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[There's no getting around it. It's an essay. About the dangers of sugar abuse on your health, linked to several medical articles. In it, she links the abuse of sugar to depression, diabetes, dopamine imbalances, fueling cancer cells and making tumors more aggressive, impotence, increased risk of heart attacks and heart disease, increased inflammation leading to joint pain and arthritis, increased risk of strokes, kidney failure, and rotting teeth.

Included in her essay is a list of signs of sugar abuse, including false teeth, rotten teeth, pupil dilation, jitteriness, mid-afternoon 'crashes', and other symptoms.

She wraps up with a plea for people to seek help and rehabilitation for their addictions and avoid anyone who might try to push such addictive substances on them.]

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And yet people think that access to sugar is at a sane level.

[Disgusting.]

[ Zenyatta head tilts to the side. What prompted this? ]

Does anyone know how to effectively clean electronics from spilled sugary carbonated beverages? If there is such a sugar epidemic on Legion World, I would like to be prepared.

[ He is also 100% not serious about his question. ]

You get one.

[He can't condone eating the "Special Mix," and he definitely can't publicly condone overtly baiting America, but god damn is he ever proud of his Mystery Son.]

Absorbent cloth soaked with rubbing alcohol, frequently squeezing out excess liquids.

Look, this is what I used to eat for breakfast until Wash told me I had to eat healthier, and other than doing it for a joke? I was fine going without it. It's not like I had to curl up in a ball somewhere and go through withdrawal.

But while I was eating lots of sugar, I didn't have diabetes, or kidney failure, or rotten teeth - especially since those sonic toothbrushes are so powerful they almost vibrate your teeth out of your skull.

Sugar's just bad for old people because once you get old, pretty much all the foods that actually taste good automatically turn to caulk in your blood stream. And it's bad for kids and teenagers who sit around play video games all day and don't run around saving the galaxy.

But Dr. Gym'll says that I'm supposed to eat 3,200 calories a day and that about 2,000 should be carbs.

[He holds up the spoon.]

Sugar? Is a carb.

I promise I'm only doing it because it's evil.

[He says that like it's a worthy cause.]

Yeah.

[Much as Wash hates it, a lot of things eventually come back to Felix.]

Not really? I mean, as long as you don't go after his son, but...

[He shrugs. That's a low blow even for them, and he's pretty sure it wasn't on the table for North to begin with.]

I go by Rich.

I know. I was there.

[Dry as the fucking desert. But half-assed better was better than nothing, and Wash knows how to pick his battles.]

I did. I actually read the whole damn thing. A tree's worth of paperwork means nothing if the information is bullshit.

And what other reasons would I have, exactly?

[GOD DAMMIT NORTH]

The problem with that logic is that sugar is a simple carbohydrate rather than a complex carbohydrate. It only gives you a short burst of energy with no added nutrients as opposed to the longer term energy benefits found in vegetables, rice, wheat, and other grains and starches.

Insisting that sugar is a carb, and therefore good for you, is twisting the Doctor's words.

[ Robbie laughs as well, because that is some A+ class-clowning right there. There's so much fond pride in his voice. ]

You must've dropped everything to run to the mess hall and throw that together. [ He knows this because he had to rush to get his own together in a timely manner. ] That's dedication too. I'm surprised you didn't mow me down in the process.

[ Well done, grasshopper. ]

[There's downsides to being the responsible adult, and this is one of them.]

You know you shouldn't be baiting her, right?

Complex carbs and simple carbs all convert into glucose and the only reason complex carbs are better for some people is because it takes more work for them to metabolize, so that you're not eating more calories than your basal metabolic rate can handle, and so there's less of big sugar rush all at once that your body has to pump out insulin for.

So you're right, complex carbs are better for blood sugar regulation, and because they have more nutrients.

[Somebody did their research before starting the argument because he is a nerdy, know-it-all, smarty-pants.]

Buuut that means if you eat simple sugars alongside proteins or complex sugars, it'll basically have the same effect of some of it metabolizing right away and some of it metabolizing more slowly. And it'll offset the empty calories.

[Time for act 2. He pulls out a little cup of low-fat, low-sugar yogurt and starts eating that.]

Tada.

[He pops off the lid and licks the yogurt off.]

Dr. Gym'll said it was fine if I eat sweets at least sometimes, especially for the extra calories, but just not all the time.

So there.

-oh my god. Tucker.

[The chortling doesn't even take effort. Tucker's borderline meltdown is great.]

I did not think you would actually buy that. 'My CO is trying to sabotage my penis'? Seriously?

Thanks for the statistics, Fun Police.

i never told you it was broken i told you i wasn't answering you!

why the fuck are we talking about this?!

You're welcome, Kid Nova.

you already wasted so many simmons-related opportunities back home that it's sad. i expect better of you.

don't disappoint me!

Low blow.

America's not going to hurt me just because I trolled her as a joke. She may be a total control freak from a dystopian future that's even worse than one ruled by a time-controlling floating baby with laser eyes - which I didn't think was actually possible - but she cares enough to protect innocent people, try to save the multiverse, and to look out for everyone else on the team.

And even though she's bossy because of the laws back home, she doesn't try to actually enforce them if it'd be illegal here. That's why she's just lecturing us instead of trying to arrest us.

If she was trying to arrest us, Grif would already be in handcuffs because of a record chocolate snack cake bust - 120 kilos of Acapulco Brown.

So what's she going to do other than frown at me and keep lecturing?

Edited 2017-10-21 02:34 (UTC)

Does that ever work? Like if I stood up and said, I go by Rob, nobody'd listen.

The only kind that has a chance of hitting you.

Ah, but to squeeze out excess liquids would require other electronics getting into contact with the sugary liquid, would it not?

[ He holds up a hand and wiggles his fingers at the camera. ]

Not if you wore disposable gloves.

[She pulls some out of her belt pouch and flaps them in her camera's general direction. Granted, hers were used more for body cavity searches rather than cleaning, but the function was the same.]

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