Team Bonding, AMA

[the_civilian]

[ Tadashi is reclining in a bed in medical, wearing the beatific smile of the enlightened and the well and truly stoned. ]

I love biology. Well, no, I'm enthusiastic about biology, I don't love it. I love programming and engineering and my family and helping people. Not in that order. Maybe in that order in regards to science. Except programming and engineering are the tools I use to help people, but I do love them too.

[ He stares off into space for a moment, then shakes himself and focuses back on the camera again. ]

But, you know, the thing about biology that's so cool is that we don't understand it all the way. Sometimes biological interactions happen unexpectedly. Like, these painkillers. I don't have an example of them to show you; they're already in my system and the medical staff won't give me more of them because they make me really loopy. Which is cool, because it's not an allergic reaction or a result of a miscalculated dose, it's just a reaction that happens sometimes to some people. Which is cool! Even almost a thousand years in the future of an alternate universe -- which has seriously weird rules, oh my god you guys I wish I loved biology and philosophy and physics more so I could study how weird this place is, I could write so many papers -- people still don't really know how our bodies work and why they react to certain things the way they do. Reality is amazing and I am so happy it exists!

[ He beams at the camera, but his smile eventually fades into confusion. Then he gasps in apparent surprise. ]

Oh yeah! Anyway, I'm super bored right now and I can't concentrate enough to read anything longer than a few sentences. And I've kind of been focused on dealing with my own stuff and not lighting things on fire when I shouldn't to get to know people, so I was thinking I should get off my ass and do that. Metaphorically, not literally, because the medical staff has confined to this bed until I metabolize the painkillers.

I was thinking we could do a...thingy. That thing people sometimes-- AMA! Ask Me Anything, that thing! We could do that, but just for Legionnaires. Not that I don't love the staffers here, I do, but I was thinking it could be a team bonding thing and some people here are more private than others. But I'd need one of the scary computer ladies to lock it down for me, because I can't figure out how to do that right now.

[ His eyes widen suddenly. ]

I'm sorry, I didn't mean that like "scary computers who are women", that would be rude, I meant it like "scary women who are good with computers". Computer programming has a long history of ignoring the contributions of the women who are it's backbone, and we have a lot of women here who area really good at what they do and they deserve to be afforded all the respect due to them as people and as badasses. The patriarchy sucks like the vacuum abhorred by nature.

...I think this got away from me. What was I talking about?

Comments

[unspeakablyevil]

Do you think I would be here if I was?

[ordinarily]

Dude, no one really came here by choice.

[unspeakablyevil]

I know that! I was asking whether you think the Legion would allow a super villain into its ranks.

[mirror_soldier]

Technicaly, yes.

[unspeakablyevil]

What??

[Well, this doesn't bode well.]

[mirror_soldier]

At least in terms of former supervillains or those they can't prove were supervillains in their own universe.

[unspeakablyevil]

In either case, I am many things but I am not a 'super villain'.

[He prefers 'Emporer of Evil'.]

[mirror_soldier]

Many things, such as...?

[unspeakablyevil]

Ruler of Earth, master shape-shifter, most powerful sorcerer in the galaxy.

[Etc. etc. Don't ask about the etc.]

[mirror_soldier]

The benevolent Ruler of Earth?

[unspeakablyevil]

My benevolence is unquestionable. Do you know how many potentially cataclysmic asteroids I have destroyed and swatted away from my planet over the past several thousand years? ... Three!

[People had been more afraid of those asteroids than they were of Aku and Aku simply couldn't have that. Nor could he have something other than Aku destroying his planet!]

And how many Rulers of Earth do you know that have theme parks? When all is said and done, I will grant you a free day pass to Aku World and then you can tell me who is benevolent.

[mirror_soldier]

Aku World?

I can hardly wait.

[unspeakablyevil]

It is the most terrifyingly MAGICAL place on Earth!

[ordinarily]

With the end of everything at stake? It'd be kind of stupid if they didn't.

[unspeakablyevil]

[Look at that! An intelligent remark — the first he's heard — shining like a gem! Perhaps Ghost Boy is smarter than he looks.]

No matter what you may think, I have taken the oath and I intend to abide by 'the rules'.

[ordinarily]

I mean, it's kind of to your benefit that you do, isn't it?

Since... you know. End of everything.

[unspeakablyevil]

Of course. The same could be said of everyone here, yourself included.

[ordinarily]

I just wanna make sure we're on the same page.

[unspeakablyevil]

If you seek to preserve the existence of your universe and all that lies within it, then we are indeed on the same page.