thelegion | World's Okayest Dad

[Tucker looked...well, it was hard to tell because his helmet's on, but there was something annoyed in his movements. Behind him was a room that seemed mostly barren and militaristic aside from the tossed about mess, a room that might seem familiar to his Chorus friends really, and the camera shook a little as he plucked something off a wall. It was turned over in his hand before he pointed it at the camera. A photograph, one with five human kids holding basketballs, and one that's...a little different.]

Since someone brought it up and now we're talking about it, yeah, I've got a kid. His name is Junior and he's amazing and I'm super freakin' proud of him. He can kick anyone's ass in basketball, is a freaking diplomat and on a scholarship, he knows at least ten different words for "dick", and he hasn't bitten a person in at least three months. He got a ribbon at school for that one.

[He pulled the picture back and put it on the wall again; there was one in his wallet, too. He was, in some few and far between ways, like every other dad out there, just with better jokes.]

He's the best goddamn thing about being a Chosen One. [There was a momentary pause, because--]...Okay, so maybe he's tied with the sword.

Don't ask specifics. Just know that childbirth sucks, I don't want to talk about that, but I'll tell you how damn amazing my son is if you want to listen. And I know I'm not the only one with weird families, so come on and spill it.

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Wow.

[North had been pretty sure he'd gotten the staring and blinking out of his system before he hit 'reply,' but his brain keeps hitting and bouncing off of the things that you probably shouldn't say or ask about someone's kid.

Turns out there are a lot of those, when someone's kid looks a lot like what you were trained to shoot at when you were barely grown yourself.]

So, uh. Does he go to a boarding school-?

[He expected wows. He was used to them, preferred them over to Holy fuck what is that? Kill it! reaction he often got. But North asked a good question, a normal question, and shit, he'd take that any day.

You just earned some Tucker Respect, for whatever that's worth.]

Yeah! He's there on a basketball scholarship because who knew that being a war hero still didn't pay for shit? Plus, you know, it looks good for the school since he's a diplomat and all. I hear he's taught all the other kids the Sanghieli swear words, which is pretty much a Tucker trait.

Hah. Well, if I ever wanted some solid evidence the war really is over for you guys . . .

[Basketball team. Jesus. If that isn't a crushingly normal childhood detail right there.]

So he's got some friends at school, then?

[The whole conversation feels so profoundly surreal, but he's at least decent at forcing all kinds of conversations into approachable shapes.]

[God, North, you're his new favorite person. You're asking all the right questions, taking it all the right ways, and it was all the shit he didn't get back home, really.]

Yeeeah. People were scared of him for awhile until he stopped a bully from picking on one of the smaller kids; now he's pretty popular. [And that? That was the first bite at school, but the kid had it coming and it wasn't even that bad. Like three stitches, max. So, he just got detention for two days once the story cleared, and his son? His son was a good. Protector of the weak.]

Besides, his dad's a pretty famous guy, so that' helps, and that Tucker charm always wins people over.

[He laughs, the kind of laugh that startles out unintentionally, short and sharp. For what it's worth, Tucker makes 'talking about your teammate's alien baby' as easy as it's probably going to get. There are some growing-up narratives that are kind of universal.]

No kidding. I guess that'll be good in the diplomacy field, anyway. That and self-control. I hear that biting stalls negotiations.

[Good! Because Junior deserved to feel normal, too, because he ...well, he wasn't exactly because he was as much human as he was alien, but he was normal to Tucker, dammit. And that's all that mattered.]

Dude, seriously, everything stalls negotiations: biting, stealing booze, waving swords around, hitting on all the diplomats. They are so uptight!

[Most of those weren't offenses Junior had committed, for the record.]

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