Post-Mission Debriefs [video] [right after the missions]

[relativityspeaking]

[When Kid Q shows on screen, her costume is singed, she's got a few bandaged burns, and she's got a very rakish eyepatch (which will fortunately be temporary). Beyond looking about as dinged up as they all are, she's beaming. And yet exhausted.]

[That doesn't mean she's got a whole motivational speech prepared like usual.]

I'm gonna try to make this as motivational as usual, but seeing as I only slept 3 hours over the past three days, I make no promises. [She gestures "no" dramatically with her arm.]

To start with, the nanovirus cure has successfully spread over Colu and caused all the converted Coluans to turn back. There was still unfortunately a death toll - currently the count's 435. Unforunately, while the disease wasn't fatal, and most of the mechanoforms aimed for conversion over killing, in the panic there were accidents and some Coluans were violent towards each other.

It's not ideal, but given the number of converted we were facing, all things considered, it could be a lot worse.

That shaking you all felt was Brainy using the Brainaics' technology to shift Robotica, Earth, and Colu back to their proper places in the galaxy. Apparently, the Lunar Debris Field got scattered in the process, but that's actually a good thing. RJ Brande is already overseeing the construction of a lunar construct that can replace it to make sure the tides and other influences the moon had on Earth remain intact.

Without the debris field there, Legion World no longer has to stay in orbit around Earth anymore to counterbalance it so it doesn't fall into Earth. That means Legion World is mobile again, which will make some of our operations a lot easier.

Brainiac 5 is fine and recovering in Medbay. I'm told the cure wasn't 100% successful due to his infection being caused by a different strain from the main nanovirus, but the worst of the effects seem to just be some limited cybernetics.

Brainiac 8 was...neutralized. On my order. [She says it firmly.] I sent a Legionnaire in as backup if the main team couldn't safely detain her and unfortunately, that proved to be a necessary on the mission. I'm told that after she was killed, she ceased to exist, because what the sprock is time travel anyway? The Legionnaire that was ordered to do it did so in a way that's acceptable to both Legion leadership and the Science Police.

[And no she's not throwing Widowmaker under the bus by calling attention to it being her. It'll be in the Legion-only confidential mission case file, but only the team can read those and not everyone bothers.]

Brainiac 6 was incapacitated by the removal of his emotional inhibitor and he's currently with Brainy, getting checked out in Medbay. We'll be getting him into some heavy-duty counseling with Dr. Ryk'err. Brainy's already petitioned the courts and been granted emergency custody. Where it goes from here is going to be depend on a lot of things.

[Like, y'know, if they can get him to stop trying to take over the galaxy.]

The entire Coluan Council has been taken into custody and charged with child abuse, among other crimes. Some former Coluan Councilmembers have also been arrested on...older child abuse charges. [She's hesistant to get much more into that. That's Brainy's business.]

I've already spoken with the president, and she's sending a team to create a provisional government to take over until a new Coluan council can be put in place. She's urging UPgov to institute a full censure of Colu. UPgov special investigators have already been dispatched to start digging into basically all of their biz - especially some of those Colugov bioweapons labs and weapons caches that we came across during the conflict.

The Roboticans have already withdrawn from Colu, at the urging of the Coluans. Despite the Roboticans sticking their necks out for them, things are still...tense. And they're possibly going to get even tenser now that Cortana freed Computo from B8 and B6's grasp. For those that are unaware, he's the AI that gave the Roboticans their sentience, after Brainy created him. Only the Roboticans came after he went down a long road of organic genocide - one that destroyed my home planet. [This is where she chews on her lip a little.] After Brainy helped him evolve to a higher state of consciousness, he ceased being the same sentient he was before - but much of the rest of the galaxy doesn't see it that way. Especially my people.

So that's a time bomb waiting to go off that we may have to defuse.

Also on the home front - another Herald revealed himself. Bill Cipher, aka the Devil, possessed Invisible Kid and made it clear that he was the one responsible for sabotaging the device that dimensionally displaced most of our team before any of you displacees ever got here - using Lyle's body to do it. That's why Brainy could never find a flaw in his designs and why our footage from the incident didn't reveal the presence of a saboteur. What we we thought was Lyle checking Brainy's work like he asked was really Bill using him as a puppet while he sabotaged the device. It was Lyle's quick thinking the second he came to that kept the sabotage from being fatal, because he managed to fix the device so it displaced instead of vaporized everyone.

Lyle was seeing Dr. Gym'll to try to figure out what had caused the blackout, but Bill didn't leave any traces in medscans. He wasn't detectable until he hitched a ride again.

The team that faced Bill managed to destroy him, and it looks like it was for good. And Captain Mystery, who got launched out an airlock, is fine, like some of you have already seen. He was back on his feet and mission-ready in a few hours.

I already sent a team to Earth to investigate what happened to the real Babbage, and thank the gods, he's still alive. He was the only survivor of Brainiac 8's rampage against the archaeological team that found her, unfortunately, and his mechform was heavily damaged and buried under debris, but his memory was still intact. The Roboticans are downloading him to a new mechform. I don't know if he'll want to rejoin the team - that was all Brainiac 8 from the start. Every single interaction we had from the moment "Babbage" returned to the team was really Brainiac 8. All of you are strangers to the real Babbage.

Due to Brainiac 8's deception I've sent a security team to sweep through Legion World to unearth any other possible traps and dispose of any hazardous materials B8 might have left behind. The "gifts" she gave some of you have already been confiscated. We found out that one that she gave to Cub had kryptonite inside, which is radioactive and dangerous over long periods of time, but fortunately, Dr. Gym'll said we caught it early enough that he'll be fine.

[That was...a lot of information. She practically falls into her desk chair.]

Oh, and no less important than everything on Colu or on Legion World - some great news: the team dispatched to Takron-Galtos successfully contained the Spectre and they prevented a prison uprising while the security systems were down due to the Brainiacs' digital rampage. So that's one chapter we can finally close.

[She pushes a hand through her hair.]

So, all told, everything was a mess, but we also knocked the Brainiacs right back down the second they stuck their heads up, got a child out of the hands of his abusers, and swept both the Spectre and a Herald off the board.

Also, we're not dead. Always a plus.

[She finally breathes out and slumps slightly.]

That's all I got.

Comments

[unrecovered]

[There's a lot to process in there - what pings Wash in particular is older child abuse charges, because he'd seen a young Brainy as a result of the time ripples and it had not been good, and you're all strangers to the real Babbage, because...well, betrayal still fucking hurts. His only consolation is that it's hard to hurt him more than he is now, and it's an excuse to leave the processing for later.]

[His only action item now is...well, someone retrieved the copy of Plan 9 From Outer Space from his room, and he'd never disabled his Reaper traps, so...]

Who picked up the gift Brainiac 8 gave me? I think I need to apologize for the glitter bomb in my room.

[He tries to be light, but his voice is still worn and exhausted. So much for convincing people he's okay.]

whoops spelling

[relativityspeaking]

[She...understands the eeeeeh feeling. She's getting awfully tired of the rug getting pulled out from under them.]

Security Officer Quinzon was a good sport. Even after his partner Trilz posted the pics on the shipwide feed.

video

[googledox]

[Brainy looks mostly organic again from the outside, other than some circuitry threaded through his cheek. Most of the parts that didn't convert back were around his spine. With the virus having recorded his form as being missing a vertebrae and having a damaged spinal cord, the nanites got confused when converting him back and "repaired" what they saw as damaged.]

[As he sits there in his Medbay bed, he looks like he's in shock but it's not because of what happened to him. He's endured plenty of terrible things by now and he's got healthy coping mechanisms.]

[No, the shock is from him looking at the sleeping child currently bundled in his arms. As he looks up from Brainiac 6 at the wall panel comm his eyes are wide and he looks like he's either struggling to suppress cooing or struggling to suppress a scream. (Maybe a mix of both?) ]

I require...assistance. Possibly in the form of others helping me locate several hundred parenting manuals that are of actual quality, so I can synthesize the information into a functional baseline.

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[captainbuzzkill]

Mazel tov!

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[steelandtemper]

[Cortana's using a hologram rather than a body currently, and is amused. Better you than her, buddy.]

You don't want any of the Coluan ones.

...That's not a bad joke. I read them all just now and even I can tell they're terrible.

[googledox]

I could've saved you the trouble of reading.

[There's some amusement in his voice as he says it, though, insinuations of a terrible childhood aside.]

[He sighs as he looks at B6.]

I suppose all of them would be useless anyway. Even good Coluan parenting guides would be useless for a Brainiac. I supposed I'll have to rely on [He shudders dramatically and spits out the next word like it's blasphemy] intuition instead of empirical data for this one.

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[walkingballpit]

Oh god, no. Do not book parent. I'll throw the book at you if you start saying things like "Dr. Spock says it's perfectly normal for boys his age..."

Just be nice to the kid. Make sure he's got enough to eat and blankets and clean clothes - all of that's great - and then spend twenty minutes a day talking to him. About him. With your attention on him, and not on work.

The books are crap, and they all contradict each other. Their main goal is to exist in enough forms that, eventually, parents can find the one that validates all their shitty excuses for their own shittiness.

[googledox]

[Brainy beams at Robbie's threats.]

Alright, alright. No books then.

[He adds priml:]

Maybe I'll write one someday. [A pause.] And the only thing printed in it will be the words "Talk to your child" in the largest font possible.

[The smiles fades a little.]

It really is...it's quite important, isn't it? The attention. [Another pause.] Positive attention, that is.

[Attention that isn't all rude remands and insults.]

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[whyarewehere]

Sorry dude, you're on your own. If he was a little sister, then I might be able to help you.

[ ...Still probably not well, but.

Either way, it's Grifspeak for "I'm glad you didn't die, bro". ]

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[googledox]

I'm sure similar principles would apply.

[Brainyspeak for "Thanks, Grif, P.S. I think your input would actually be worthwhile."]

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[lovernotafighter]

Books? I raised my kid just fine and the only book I used was the Penthouse stories I read him as bed time stories. I can totally help you if you need it.

[Please, please you're probably better off turning down this offer, even if his alien son did turn out pretty awesome.]

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[googledox]

[Brainy frowns.]

I've spent some time in 21st century Earth due to time travel. Isn't Penthouse some kind of prurient skin mag utilized by the desperate and lonely?

Re: video

[bringinghopewithme]

You read your kid what now?

[Please explain to the Easter Bunny why you read skinmags to your child Tucker, explain.]

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[circusbat]

It's not exactly the same, but I have some experience with kids who...well, let's just say that Damian never has understood his own limitations.

[Noooooot going to mention just yet that Damian's ten. Which may be about the same age as Dick started doing the superhero thing, true, but he sort of figures the people here would frown. A lot.]

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[googledox]

A relative of yours?

[bringinghopewithme]

Look, if you need a sitter, you've only got to ask, mate.

[Thank goodness for Brainy actually taking this parenting thing seriously, thank goodness for him not being resentful of either the child suddenly thrust upon him or that child's actions while being abused and mislead.

It warms his heart to see the beginning of a happy family, particularly one that's begun in spite of such awfulness. Good onya, Brainy.]

Text

[mirror_soldier]

[Sociliazation has been hard since waking up in the med bay. Harder than usual. So texting is the best he can do for now.]

Being with you instead of them will be an immense improvement on its own.

[There was an urge to admit he was glad to see Brainy had fought to keep the child. In a way, Brainiac Six's- or Merl's situation hit a little too close to home. For some reason, he'd just assumed the child would be hidden back away somewhere else now that he'd been 'dealt with', that the government would have control over him the way they had obviously wanted to. That was what generally happened to kids like Merl, wasn't it? Seeing Querl not only speaking on his behalf to keep that from happening but genuinely showing an interest in caring for him despite how difficult it might be, it struck a cord. Enough of one to get him kind of talking again.

But he couldn't think of a way to phrase what he wanted to say on the subject that wasn't either too personal, too self-involved or just too easily misconstrued, so after several erased attempts, he let it go.]

I don't know how much help books would actually be, [Judging by what others had said in the thread, not very.] but just doing for him what you would have wanted to have done for you, would likely be a good start.

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[the_civilian]

In my experience -- having been a smart kid with a smarter, eight-years-younger brother -- a lot of it comes down to letting them figure things out on their own while still being close enough at hand to step in, and also not yelling anywhere they can hear you.

[Brainy and his kid are really cute, though.]

Congratulations, you'll do okay.

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[legionnpcs]

Welcome to the club. There is no manual, and that feeling you're feeling right now is never going to go away.

[Brin is wearing a party hat and, judging by the view behind him, has just finished tacking up a "welcome home" banner over Brainy's door. The door to his quarters, not his lab. Cub can be heard giggling in the background, it was probably his idea.]

Y'get used to it, though.

Locked to Kid Q.

[gonebyebye]

I hate to add more work to the pile you likely have to deal with, but I need to register a complaint about Arbitraitor's conduct. He tried to shoot one of the Coluans before she'd become fully infected. I prevented him from doing so and allowed her to flee the building, when he followed after and shot her after the infection had fully spread in what I'm guessing was an attempt to taunt me.

At that point I may have lost my temper and dropped him into the basement. Partly to keep him from endangering anyone else, but mostly to keep myself from doing anything worse .

Locked like a locked thing

[relativityspeaking]

[Kid Q smacks a hand over her face -- well, the uninjured side of her face -- and drags her palm downward.]

No, no, I appreciate that you told me. Do you know if there's any security footage of the incident? Or if there were any other witnesses we might be able to contact?

Re: Locked like a locked thing

[gonebyebye]

Not sure about security footage, you'd have to check the cameras of the habitat tower we were protecting to see if they were even still active at the time, but there were plenty of witnesses. I did manage to record the names of a few Coluans who'd be willing to talk, too.

[taumangaria]

[Sawtooth likes to see things followed up on, namely because leaving something hanging usually means it'll come back to haunt you later. To that end:]

Do we have someplace safe to put the Spectre?

[legionnpcs]

There's a hazmat vault near the Thaumaturgy Department. We can put him there until we get a hold of the Wizard again.

[legionnpcs]

Now that we've had time to do a headcount, the warden's confirmed there's been a few escapes. Or disappearances. Final numbers aren't in yet, they're still collecting DNA samples from what little the Spectre left behind.

We can also confirm that there are no signs of a chronal disturbance. The Time Trapper didn't sweep Amp away. I don't want to assume anything, but we're going to have to wait until they go through the security footage to see if they can get a clue of what happened there. Should take about five hours.