[video]

[smarterthandad]

[Somebody's kid got hold of an omnicomm...or at least that's the logical assumption, until the small human girl in the video starts speaking.]

Hi, I'm Valeria Richards. Since everything's still a mess from the latest supervillain attack, I'm going to be picking up some of Mr. Brainy's [yes she absolutely just called him that] workload to help stuff get back to what passes for normal.

[Did she check with Brainy before announcing this? Well, unless he shows up to contradict her, can you prove she didn't?

Val recognizes that being betrayed, discovering you have a kid you never knew about, and then being assimilated by your evil borg queen great-grandchild is going to knock anyone for a loop and she really is trying to help. It's just that her social skills are questionable at best when the scenario isn't "lying to get out of trouble."]

I'm not entirely up to speed on this reality's physics yet, so don't ask me to alter any universal constants before next week sometime. [Unless she has the best poker face known to science, that does not appear to be a joke.] Anything else, no problem.

Comments

[walkingballpit]

[ That is a 100% fair assessment, although Robbie would beg to differ. He can physically put her on top of a fridge, ergo there is seniority. ]

You... might be a little short for the transuits.

[ It's amused, but he's not making fun of her. Robbie's got that dopey sort of 'awww talking to the precocious child' smile that adults get when they have no idea what precocious kids are capable of. At least he's not baby voicing her - she's articulate and Reed Richards' kid. ]

Your own quarters? [ That seems like a bad idea, vastly intelligent or not. ] Well... we can get you some new stuff, for now. We all get stipends. What're you missing?

[smarterthandad]

Trivial problem. I think they're just worried about their PR.

[Because it couldn't possibly be wanting to protect the small child who thinks she's immortal.]

Uh...everything?

[Robbie she fell through a hole in spacetime onto a hell planet.]

[walkingballpit]

Hey, PR's important, and they have a really bad turnover rate in the department.

[ It's definitely about protecting her, but if he couldn't tell his fifteen-year-old self that and expect it to be taken seriously, he can't tell her. ]

Yeah, I know everything. I just don't know what everything means so I can't decide what stores you need to get taken to. Clothes and toys and a step stool are obvious. Other things... not so much.

[ DO YOU NEED DIAPERS Y/N ]

[smarterthandad]

Oh, I don't need a step-stool. I have Mom's powers now.

[BE VERY AFRAID.]

[walkingballpit]

[ HE IS FUCKING TERRIFIED ]

... the invisibility or the force fields?

[smarterthandad]

Force fields.

[She's judging him, because how would invisibility eliminate the need for a step-stool?]

[walkingballpit]

[ She could have had both! Also, force fields shouldn't eliminate the need for step stools either, Marvel, and he wouldn't put it past her to figure out a way to use the invisibility to eliminate the need for a step stool.

He feels weirdly judged though, and withers in opposition to someone too young to really tease. ]

... come on, I put in a requisition for transport to Earth. I'll take you to the mall if you promise not to hide in the clothing racks or leave with a stranger.

[smarterthandad]

Delivery is more efficient.

[She holds up a datapad with Space Amazon loaded. It seems to be the search results for some variant of "pink teddy bear."]

[walkingballpit]

[ Of course it is. ]

Delivery doesn't let you touch stuff before you buy it. What if Teddy has scratchy fur or smells funny?