[ TEXT ] SENDING OUT AN S.O.S. TO THE WORLD

[goddamngrenades]

Quick Check in for Members of Project Freelancer, the UNSC, and our mutual associates- or anyone that wants to get word out about themselves having changed or not changed or...whatever. Has questions? This is Agent York and Delta, so far we're unaffected by this time ripple thing. Connie, North, Wash, Grif, Chief, Theta, Cortana, Locus, Azucar, Parker, Pidge, Fareeha, Amélie - and anyone else I'm forgetting, shoot me a text back, alright?

I'll deliver pancakes and blankets or other care package items if needed. If you'd rather come talk in person swing by my habitat, I'll be hanging in the bar. Directions are below. Also, Jason- buddy? Swing by, I feel like I owe you a beer.

[ In neat green lines there's a little holographic map showing how to get to York's dive bar from the recipient's current location, wherever they might be. ]

Specific refreshments are available upon request.

Comments

[rushing_by]

I'm fine so far, aside from the fact that I wish I could still get drunk.

Audio

[goddamngrenades]

You ever tried some of this alien shit? I guarantee something I have here will work.

Re: Audio

[rushing_by]

I doubt it. Last time I managed anything close to drunk it was off of something that was functionally 500 proof alcohol designed by the world's leading expert on my weird biology. All I ended up with was a 15 second buzz.

Audio

[goddamngrenades]

Maybe we'll get lucky. Or, well. I could try nudging the odds in your favor.

[legionnpcs]

Now, see, your problem?

Earth doesn't know beer from muddy water. Flash fact: Earth Beer sucks. Go to outer space, we've got stuff that would put Superman out of commission for a week.

[rushing_by]

Beer doesn't taste like rocket fuel and definitely isn't 250% ethanol by volume.

Also, speedster metabolism is faster than Kryptonian metabolism. Kara and I checked. I'm pretty sure we're banned from that donut shop.

[legionnpcs]

Yeah, and she probably hasn't soaked up as much sun over the years as the Last Son.

Trust me. Just go to a bar, tell them that you're jacked up on Speed Force and you need them to get you plastered with something that doesn't taste like Brainy made it in his lab.

[rushing_by]

It'd probably be a good idea to wait until after all this is over to try. Time is messed up without adding a drunk speedster to things. I'm pretty sure I can't time travel under my own power right now, but it's probably best not to risk it.

[goddamngrenades]

...Just for the sheer novelty of it, I'm gonna ask if you've got numbers on the 'runs fast changes time' thing. Cuz. What?

[rushing_by]

Basically, if I I'm running somewhere past Mach 1 and I'm in the right mindset, I can run backwards in time. It's a speed force thing.

[goddamngrenades]

...Good thing you threw in 'speed force' because I was pretty sure science doesn't work that way otherwise. Damn, son.

[whyarewehere]

Damn, really?

On the one hand I'm glad I didn't get that end of the power, but on the other I'm kind of impressed over here.

[rushing_by]

It has come in handy a couple of times. I saved Cisco from some Hell's Angels once by challenging their leader to a drinking contest. The guy had no clue what he was getting into.