[text]

[dungenessmaster]

SO LET ME SEE IF I'VE GOT THIS RIGHT, BECAUSE AFTER AN INFODUMP LIKE THAT MY THINKPAN IS THREATENING TO SPLIT APART FROM THE SHEER FORCE OF HOW BULLSHIT THIS ALL IS.

MY FRIENDS AND I GET DRAGGED SCREAMING AND FLAILING INTO AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS-INDUCING BID TO LEAVE EVERYTHING WE'VE EVER KNOWN BEHIND IN THE HOPES OF MAKING SOMETHING BETTER, GET BLOCKED ON THAT AT EVERY TURN, DIE OR COME CLOSE TO IT A WHOLE FUCKING LOT, SPEND THREE EARTH YEARS ON THE SHITTIEST POSSIBLE ROUTE THROUGH PARADOX SPACE TO THE BIG FINAL SHOWDOWN, COME THROUGH THAT WITH OUR MORTAL HUSKS MORE OR LESS UNSCATHED, AND *NOW* YOU'RE TELLING ME I'VE BEEN SHOOSHED TO YET ANOTHER NONSENSE-INFESTED CORNER OF REALITY?

TO FIX THINGS?

IS THERE ANY END TO THIS OVERTORQUED CAROUSEL OF MADNESS, OR ARE WE ALL SUPPOSED TO HOLD ON UNTIL WE'RE FLUNG TO OUR DOOM OR COVERED IN OUR OWN VILE STOMACH CONTENTS??

((OOC: Karkat hasn't taken the oath yet. Also, anyone who doesn't want to deal with trolltext can opt out here or simply reply with voice/video. He'll match you!))

Comments

[wherenoonegoes]

Aside from the whole getting dragged to another universe and nearly suffocating to death on arrival thing everyone's had to deal with? Yeah he's fine.

I'm Hiccup by the way. Also going by Forge because I can control metal with my brain.

[dungenessmaster]

[That's kind of horrifying, but he went through the same thing. Dave's probably okay. At least there are no serious time/space shenanigans afoot as far as he knows.]

OH YEAH, I FORGOT EVERYONE GETS A HERO NAME WHEN THEY GO THROUGH THE WHOLE WEIRD RITUAL I DECIDED NOT TO DO UNTIL I KNEW EXACTLY WHAT I WAS GETTING INTO. I KIND OF HAVE A HISTORY WITH GETTING LITERALLY SUCKED INTO STUPID LIFE-THREATENING BULLSHIT I NEVER ASKED FOR.

I'M KARKAT. IS HICCUP YOUR ACTUAL NAME OR ANOTHER ALIAS?

[Because dude.]

[wherenoonegoes]

It is, unfortunately, my actual name. It's a Viking thing. According to legend, terrible, disgusting names are supposed to ward off trolls. Obviously, that's not the case.

[dungenessmaster]

[Oh hey, Vikings. He's heard of those. Actually, he doesn't know much about them but that sounds pretty interesting.]

I'M GOING TO GO OUT ON A LIMB HERE AND GUESS YOU MEAN THE OFFENSIVE AND FRANKLY BIZARRE TYPE OF TROLL THAT LIVES UNDER BRIDGES AND EATS BLEATBEASTS RAW?

ANYWAY, NO. NOW, MAYBE IF YOUR GUARDIAN HAD NAMED YOU SOMETHING LIKE MUCUS-SWILLING BULGEFLICKER, YOU'D BE IN BETTER SHAPE.

[wherenoonegoes]

And steal left socks. Can't forget that one.

Thankfully nobody's actually named that. Snotlout's name comes pretty close, though

nooo my beautiful code

[dungenessmaster]

I KNOW I'M GOING TO REGRET ASKING, BUT WHY JUST THE LEFT ONES?

Re: nooo my beautiful code

[wherenoonegoes]

Nobody knows...

Although, if you want the the real reason? It's probably because the man who told me all this is missing his right foot, so he only has left socks to lose.

[dungenessmaster]

OKAY, THIS CONVERSATION IS OBVIOUSLY NOT GOING TO STOP FROM GETTING MORE AND MORE IDIOTIC, SO I'M CHANGING THE SUBJECT. FROM HERE ON OUT, NO MORE DUMB BULLSHIT ABOUT WEIRD STEREOTYPES OR SOCKS.

YOU SEEM PRETTY STRAIGHTFORWARD, SO... THIS *IS* ALL REAL, RIGHT? I'M NOT WANDERING THROUGH SOMEONE ELSE'S SPACE HERO DREAMBUBBLE, AM I?